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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 2:30 am
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I'm having a very...interesting night to put it lightly, considering it's 5:13am and I'm still awake, but I guess it all started at one point. When I got out of work at 10:30pm I was walking home when I took a glance at the sky and saw a full moon. It just captivated me...the clouds were rolling by so quickly in the wind, thin wispy clouds that barely shaded its radiance. There were more clouds, much farther up then these that almost seemed to be sitting just behind the moon.
After that I got home and ate, did a few things without much real enjoyment then went to take my dog for a walk and that's when I noticed something. I found myself staring at the moon, I could barely keep my eyes off of it. I felt so clear, empty of all the stress and weight on my shoulders. When I looked away I just felt as if I was downcast, when I got home from the walk it didn't really get much better. I've had tons of free time tonight to de-stress, but I've been on edge. I'm extremely irritable, and it feels like being inside is making me extremely uneasy. I've got this horrible knot in my stomach, a couple of things have happened to make me feel this way, an argument and awkward situation, but it shouldn't be this bad. I sat at my computer after these were over and tried to find something to occupy myself, but I couldn't.
I finally got into bed and tried reading, I tried listening to music but I just felt so damn restless. I got up and paced around my house for a while trying to find out what was bothering me so badly, but then I looked out the window and the moon was hanging just in view over the trees. I stared at it...and stared and felt that knot just disappear. I just want to move, get out and go stare at the moon...follow it into the night and just keep walking until it's gone. I finally shook myself out of it and went to my room, and here I am typing this all up. I can't explain it, I don't know what's wrong with me but this isn't the first time I've had feelings like this before. Not just about the moon but other things in nature that just draw me....I don't know what I'd find if I gave into these urges to just go to wherever it would take me, and it scares me in a way and in another it doesn't. Even now I want to just go, I'm practically shaking with this urgency I feel. I want to go before the moon disappears...but I can't bring myself to do it.
Honestly...I'm not even really sure what I expect by typing this here, I don't expect answers. I guess I just needed a place to put this all down...
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:29 am
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:49 am
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:37 am
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:41 am
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:14 am
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:38 am
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:44 am
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:56 am
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:55 am
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