Abuse and life

[Skorndrick]

My dad started abusing my mom when I was three. At first, since Iwas jsut a little kid, I didn't realize it. Then I got older,and my mom had another kid, and my brother and I used to sleep up in the attic, and I would sit there inthe middle of he night, listening to the screams and yells. My dad once threw me across a room, and since then I can't stand to hae anyhitng thrown at me, or I flinch like heck. I have about 18 friends that Isee almost everyday, and out of them only, like, two are guys, because I still cna't stand men, no offenxe to anyone. I was only 64pnds for three yeas in a row because I was os scaed I couldn't eat. I'm now almost sixteen, i'm five-feet- teninches tall, and I only wiegh 115pnds. I cant' stand men., I can't stand talkign in front of people ,and I can't even make eye contact ith family members. Ispent three months on a Battered Woman/s shelter, having other kids getm e in trouble because Icouldnt' speak. Unless I'm with a lot of people, I cant;' talk at all. In my science class, we oinly have like sixteen people. Ionly talk in that class about once a month. I have absolutly no people skills, hence the reaons why I've been on Gaia two year,s yet still only have less then 50 friends.
Viral said you people might be able to hlp me. And maybe he's right. Just maybe. If yo uguys can heklp me, good. if not, oh well. I went to counsiling for a year, and that didn't help, but maybe people I don't avtually have ot verbally speak to can help me. So, please. Help.  

[Skorndrick]

I know a lot of oyu have complained about me, but please jsut try to help. Please?  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

One thing about friends, it's never quantity, it's quality.

I have very few good friends, but dang are they good. =w=

Have you tried video calls to increase you talking skills?  

[Sentama Lin]

It sounds like you need a group that you can put your trust in; a group that will be your support and solace. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like you're very close to any of your real-life friends at the moment. I suggest staying in counseling, but if possible going into group counseling rather than individual counseling; it'll give you opportunities to reinforce yourself and other people rather than trying to bear your burdens alone.

Unfortunately, that requires a risk on your part: to actually cast your fear aside and actually talk.  

[Red Glacier]

I have 3 friends in real life razz 5 but 2 are away. Really i'm no social master at all. Really i'm just a person that acts like himself and is hated for it. I have always been pretty cold and anti-social. My gaia account sais i have over maybe 150 friends, how many do i talk too? pretty much anyone that you find in the ATG. Gaia friendlists hardly mean anything in numbers so don't worry about it.


I have AFS (Adrenal Fatigue Syndrom) and can't even get a diagnosis in the US for it, i've never seen a doctor or Dentist in my life. (excluding birth razz ) But do i let it get me down? no. You can ask Kerries. I'm reckless despite my condition and she has to get onto me about ALL the time XD

What i'm trying to say is, that no matter your situation or status you just have to truck it through. Don't ever stop being yourself, it may not be popular but its a whole more rewarding in the end Blu. You can't let your conditions or your past get the best of you. just have fun and do what you must to be happy :3 Talk with your friends and get to know them. You may have more in common with them then you actually know.  

[Skorndrick]

@Jaft- RainAmaya
long-live-horses
hippo_ruler_not
darkness_falls_
Midnight-blue moon cat
Vince Green
Demon Alexa
THese are some of my friends fro mreal life. All the others don't have Gaias. And they are my good friends. My best friends. Ihsut can't talk to any of them abou it, really. Ans I`can't afford video calls.


@Lin- no thanks. Im good. I can't do that. And I've been out of counseling since sixth grade.  

[Sentama Lin]

You can't get counseling help, or you just don't want to? It's your choice to get help or not; I'm just saying I feel it's beneficial -- especially if you can't even talk to your own friends about your problems.  

[Skorndrick]

Look Lin:
Jessica- her mom put her up for adoption when she was three. She never met her father. She hates it whne I mention my life, and then ignoresme, which I hate. Miranda- her mom left her dad when she was thrre {I know right, weird huh?}and so her dad's had to raise her. She's a pathological liar, and doesn't care about it in the slightest. Jazzie- no say. her paremts are alcohalics, and I think she's goign to be one too. She, like ,miranda, doeans't care. Renee- my best friend knows what i've been through, but she doesn't like talkling about it./ neither do I. Heather- my kitty knows nothing. Ashley hat thief- all she know is that iwas abused. Ashley starburst girl- knows barely anything and is in college. Kevin- one of my only guy friends. He doesn't really know very much. He's busy anyway, what with his friends all commiting suicide at he same time.

THat's only some of my friends. How can i even realy talk to them when it hurts so bad? It angers me when peoepl say the kids could do something- you can't, really, and since all my teachers say that, I camn't talk to them, now can I?

@Viral- thanks for listening.  

[Sentama Lin]

I'm going to be more blunt; they don't sound like good supportive friends.

Also, I've mentioned getting group counseling, but I didn't say to get group counseling involving your friends. In a public school setting, there is a Psychologist, in addition to the regular counselor, for the kids to utilise; they can give you information about groups where you can talk about problems.

Again, it's your choice to talk to total strangers, but for pete's sake just get the support you need. I'm not forcing you to do anything; I'm just saying you need support.  

[Sanzoskitsune]

I've gotta support Lin on this one. Most schools have a counselor or someone that can help you out. Start there, just talk to someone. Sometimes its better to talk to a complete stranger than someone who knows you.

As for your so called friends, they don't sound like very good friends to me. A good friend would be willing to listen to your problems as much as you listen to theirs and be willing to be there for you. A friendship in which only one person listens or in which you avoid anything unpleasant is a fake friendship and you sound like you need better than that. You really should examine those friendships and see if they aren't just dragging you down.  

[Skorndrick]

At my school you ahve ot fill out a special form and get your parents to sign it to get to see your counseler. And I can't do the group counseling, Lin! I can't speak in front of people, I cant even stand up in front of them! How am I goig nto do that, and wathc my baby brother after school ,and keep in touch here, and dp the chpres, and take care of my pets, and do everthing else? No time, friend, no time at all.  

[Skorndrick]

Sanzoskitsune

I've gotta support Lin on this one. Most schools have a counselor or someone that can help you out. Start there, just talk to someone. Sometimes its better to talk to a complete stranger than someone who knows you.

As for your so called friends, they don't sound like very good friends to me. A good friend would be willing to listen to your problems as much as you listen to theirs and be willing to be there for you. A friendship in which only one person listens or in which you avoid anything unpleasant is a fake friendship and you sound like you need better than that. You really should examine those friendships and see if they aren't just dragging you down.

My friends are very good friends. It's just...I'm shy around Kevin, because...well, because he and I are newer friends. And my others...they know my predicament, they jsut ond't like talking aboutit. Which sucks because even though I don't either I nknow I need to talk aboutit.  

[Sentama Lin]

You need to make time. For your health. Somehow, you need to do that.

And that's why I said there's a risk: if you decide to get help in a group setting (what I feel would be most beneficial) you will need to cast your fear aside and learn to share what you want and need to say. I do find it odd that you need your parents's signature for counseling; I suppose I was spoiled in my area. I didn't need to do that. The counselors here were confidential, and parents were not informed unless it could be a child abuse case or there's a chance of suicide or homicide.

There are many people here who will listen to problems, but when it all boils down to it all we can do is listen. A real-life group of supportive people near you will do loads more good than our listening can do.  

[Sanzoskitsune]

I honestly think you need to figure out something with your school. Talk to someone in charge, talk to a teacher you trust, tell them you need someone to talk to. If you don't feel comfortable in group counseling that's fine but you need to find someone who is willing to help you out. If you need to drop something then drop it, staying in contact with people online is not that important, if you need to cut back on your online time then do it but get help.

edit: I repeat Blu, they don't like good friends to me. If they were they'd be willing to help out with whatever tough time you're having. Friends like that aren't worth s**t. They should be willing to at least LISTEN to you if nothing else.  

[The Dinosaur Next Door]

To be fair to the other girls, they're probably just as maladjusted as you are Blu. I don't think it's from disinterest or lack of caring. I do think Sanzo and Lin are right - even if you can align with them because of similarly troubled experiences, they can be your motivation to improve. But they won't be able to help you because they have their own issues.
I think you should find someone... totally different from you and try to reach out to them. If you don't want to talk to guys, try talking to a girl your age, but from another clique at school. Find something in common other than your trauma and make friends.

-O=O-