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 Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 11:16 am
I'm breaking my promise to myself of not posting anything right now, but if I don't do it now I'll forget. Chex's embarassing thread post made me realize just what a good idea my sister-in-law and I have. We want to make a book about any and all things that can/will happen while having sex. It'll be for anyone and everyone, but a great book for people who haven't had sex yet, to read. I want to call it 'Don't worry, you're normal!"
I thought this would also be a great place to talk about anything sexual, from questions to advice, to talking about your own stories. I'll start with some.
GRM's Advice
The first time you have sex, yes you may bleed or you may not. It might hurt it might not. This is something to keep in mind though, if you have sex without a condom and he goes inside you GRAVITY IS STILL WORKING! Go to the bathroom because it will come back out!
There are certain positions that make you have a v****a fart! Otherwise known as a Queef. It's a disturbing feeling and will make almost anyone laugh. It also completely ruins the moment! It's normal though so don't worry about it.
If toy haven't been doing much excersise, strecth! You can get cramps anywhere while having sex and that too runis the moment.
Condoms are slimy.
If doing a**l play, please remember what comes out of there. It's a good idea to clean it out before hand.
The saying "If you've seen one, you've seen them all" is not true! Some are twisted some are curved. Some have scars, some have freckles. Just remember curiousity killed the cat.
Be mindfull of breasts! Some positions make the breasts move in disturbing ways. Also ladies, don't look down at your boobies in doggy position! Not usually a pretty picture.
Chex's Advice
You will meet someone along the way with weird desires/fantasies. Also, beware of juices on facial hair.
There are a few more that I would like to post, but I want to post this now. Like I said any questions, advice, stories you want to share feel free to! This is not a place to make fun of other peoples stories and if I see this I will be very pissed! People may be opening themsleves up to what could be very embarassing and don't need to have assholes poking fun at them! Also if there is anything you want me to add just tell me and I'll post it and who said it. Hope this helps, gets a few laughs, and maybe makes some people feel a bit more normal. Enjoy.
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 12:22 pm
lol Let me just say that after that "queef" incident with Dean, he insists on blowing air into my lady hole. It has to be one of the weirdest feelings I keep on my list of sexual experiences.
May I add something? Sure, I can! biggrin You will meet someone along the way who has fantasies and strange desires. Dean is that way. ninja He has told me that he would go down on me even if I was on my period. He even told me that he would swallow my blood clots (yes, I know it's disgusting. ninja I won't let him do it, but this thread is here for this purpose).
Also, if your guy (or woman) has the misfortune of having a beard, beware of juices that may have stuck to the hair when he goes to kiss you. It's not pleasant, at least to me.
*Walks away, torn on whether or not to laugh at herself or be embarrassed.*
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 12:34 pm
Don't let him blow the air up there as the vessles in that area can absorb the air into your bloodstream and it can mean BAD news for you!
I'll have to add the weird desires/fantasies, I know I have some, GTR has more than I do, and we're working on them. The beard thing, been there done that and it's not pleasent in the least!
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 12:42 pm
Um... too much info? And did you talk to Arc first before publicly announcing his sex life to people he knows?
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 12:43 pm
I am an old ATG member =]so cleanshaven or leave is the order of the day?Click here to PM Me regarding ATG.
Captain Shram has answered your thread
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 12:49 pm
No Shram, just be mindfull of leftovers.
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 12:59 pm
I am an old ATG member =]Very well I shall pay close attention to liquid flowing astray on my faceClick here to PM Me regarding ATG.
Captain Shram has answered your thread
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 2:10 pm
@Kals: I did, indeed. He laughed and said that it was funny, fondly remembering the episode. He's perfectly fine, seeing as we're pretty frank with bodily functions.
@GRM: What about if someone gets with a guy who can't control himself? Y'know, in the way where he'll hug them and they know immediately what he's thinking? *Shrugs.* I know Dean's always wanting to do SOMETHING with me. Can that be advice? Learn how to handle those situations or... whatever? xd
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 7:34 am
I didn't even thing about this until now. Chex, I'm not sure if you know what positions allow for the air to get inside, but if you do what you can do to prevent most air from getting in is tensing, all the muscles around your pelvis and lower back. I find it helps me a lot too! I find there are only a few things worse then a queef!
About the question Chex, I don't know if I'm the best person to be asking because I'm the type that points it out, plays with it then we have sex. GTR has called me a nympho on quite a few occasions. If you don't want to, tell him later, but maybe tell him some of the things you DO want to do, so it doesn't upset him or make him think that you simply just don't want to and that right now isn't the time/place/mood for you.
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:19 am
Dean respects me, for sure. One night, I had such a heady orgasm and was actually dry for a handful of days. I had my usual discharge to keep the area wet and clean, but enough for intercourse? Psh!
*Chuckles.* I'm still learning. There's probably a lot of things I'll enjoy doing once I become comfortable.
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:47 am
Funny you say that, one of the times that GTR came to visit me we had sex so often we chaffed eachother. It was ok though because when we discovered that neither of us could have any sort of sex what so ever, we layed in a hammok in eachother's arms and stargazed for hours on end! We talked about anything and everything.
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:55 am
Get a book of constellations and make it a family thing with your kids. :3
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:02 am
We are going to make it a family thing, GTR was actually wanting to do that this summer, maybe next summer! Then when the kids go to bed we'll go back outside and "stargaze" some more! xd
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:17 am
Lol, you two are so bad. whee
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:33 am
More professionalism, please...
Telling people that queefs are normal is one thing, personal experiences and fantasies are another.
Do tell stuff like:
Beware of certain positions, where the guy can bump into the cervix, it can be painful.
Do not tell:
How you found out about that...and any other details about it, please.
Thread is too low profit, high price anyway...as in...
As the thread stands now, it's kinda disgusting, and no, not because of the biological facts...
Yet the gain is quite low, since the ATG is 'confined' in itself, but at the same time, stuff like that adds to the guild image.
And stuff like queefs could be googled even by a surprised layman using "crude" terms...
So yeah...just sayin...
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