Welcome to Gaia! ::

I seem to be very different from most guys in a lot of ways...

I usually pick female characters in games even when there is no difference in gameplay or stats because the female avatars are better looking IMO, I'll even go along with it and let people call me female while still acting like a guy because people assume I'm female so often. (But that probably sounds messed-up.)

Traditionally, the man goes to work while the woman stays at home and takes care of the family. Spending most of my day in a soulless corporation away from my family just doesn't appeal to me and besides, aren't there more women in the workplace these days anyway?

My religion teaches, straight from the Bible, that the husband is to be head of the household (though it also teaches straight from the Bible that the man is to treat his wife like she is a part of himself, and most would not deliberately do bad to themselves). I neither desire such a role nor am I suited to being first and foremost at anything. I really prefer to be second-in-command or an adviser, not a leader... I would actually prefer a matriarchal family structure for that reason. But I still want to be a good Christian...

Apparently most guys want sons... it's my experience that boys are the more annoying children so WHY IS THAT?

And how is having or preferring cats pathetic for men? I keep hearing guys with cats spoken of in a demeaning manner on TV shows. Cats are cleaner and neater animals than dogs, the worst they do is leave hair in the rug for you to vacuum up assuming they've been fixed. Dogs need to be continually cleaned up after because they are not as neat and clean as cats.

Paul is pretty patriarchal at times, but he also knows a Greek lady named Chloe (1 Corinthians 1:11) who is both the leader of her own household, which had men in it, and a leader in her church. And Paul obviously finds no fault in this.

It's true that on the whole Paul seems to regard women as the "domestic" leaders and men as the leaders in the public sphere, but none of the other apostles (or Paul's letters to congregations in other cities) ever mention this divine order, and even the Corinthian letters really don't tell you who should cook and clean and who should go to work at the mill.

Now, if you wanted to, we could discuss whether the Bible should even be used to govern your relationship in the first place, but that is a different issue altogether.

I'm thinking that "the head of the houshold" can hold more than one meaning. It could mean that you are the bread-winner or that you make all the decisions. It could mean other things, but I can't think of any (too tired to try sweatdrop )

Anyway, don't get to caught up with Christian scriptures. Back in Paul's day, he addressed Christians in different regions differently (according to their customs). That particular group of Christians was probably a culture that had more men bringing home the bacon. That does not mean you have to abide to it exactly like that.

BTW, none of what you said makes you any less of a man, at least in my perspective. I think it's interesting since I've been around dog-lovers for most of my life. I also agree that female characters look better than a lot of male characters. biggrin The only thing that makes me differ is that I actually want a son (living with nobody but females has taxed me in ways I can't describe).

And I also have to say women want men like you. *you're a hot commodity*

Some good thoughts in here, but just for my two cents as a man... Most people don't have sex necesarily because they want kids, but because they enjoy the experience of having intercourse. No matter how careful you are if you have sex enough times kids just happen to show up as a consequence of the activity. I know girls that have had sex only once in their life before becoming pregnant. Trust me they weren't even close to entertaining the possiblity that they would end up having a baby. It just happened in a moment of passion. <-- Pretty much why people have kids of their own instead of adopting.

Personally I don't really want to have kids now or even in the near future. My sex drive is nice and healthy (maybe too much so) though and I realize that like I said a kid will eventually happen wether I want it to or not. I very sincerely doubt that I'll ever sit down with my potential wife and say something like, "Let's make this the nuknuk that brings us a baby."

I don't have the capacity to plan what I'm going to eat for lunch the next day so there's no way I'm going to have the mindset to plan to have a child.

I've thought about the pros and cons of having a boy or girl and I've come to the conclusion that it wouldn't really matter all that much which I got except for the fact that I thought about how awkward it would be to try explaining how to use a tampon to a teenage girl (younger these days I hear).

I'm a working man not because I'm expected to take care of a household blah blah blah, but because when it comes down to it I want to be as independent as possible and depending on someone else to take care of all the financial matters is just to risky to me. And I'm not so lazy that I can't clean house on top of work. I don't go into a relationship thinking I'm half a man looking for a woman to fulfil my missing half. I want to make sure I'm completely whole physically, mentally and emotionally and baggage checked at the door.

I have a cat right now. I fail to see how it makes me less of a man. I also have a dog, and a bird. In the past I've had fish, goats, a horse and chickens and never lived on a farm. There's a little bit of Greek in my bloodline so I've refused to have a sheep in case I ever got lonely enough to rub against some wool (that's a joke fyi before people take it seriously).

I've raised and bottlefed kittens from as young as 4 weeks old. They are not self-cleaning or neat, but it also depends on the breed of dog. Some are relatively pretty easy and low maintainance neutral

there was more... but i'm getting tired and my attention span is nearly used up.

:edits: now i remember... as long as you're taking on your fair share in a relationship I don't think what duties you and your significant other decide to do really matters as long as you strike a healthy and happy balance in your relationship. On the flip side to that is although it doens't make you less of a man there wouldn't be a snowballs chance in hell of me ever mistaking you for being "manly."

I don't see why that would make you less of a man. I pick boy characters and can occasionaly act more like a guy than a girl. I am in no way frilly or super girly. I like sports and pizza and beer. I'm from a home of a single mother and the women in my family are very strong willed and run the household. Only one of the men I've ever been with took complete control over me and ran the house his way and After 4 years together he suddenly needed me to take care of him and he refused to let me and Left the relationship, Ever since then I've never let a man take complete control. I love a guy that loves cats over dogs because I like dogs but even the fixed ones for some reason seem to always get sexually arroused when I'm around and I'm allergic to dogs too. I LOVE CATS! I'm not the sterotypical lonely cat lady either. I have a child and thought originally that I would be better suited for a boy baby but I was blessed with a girl and now I thank my lucky stars I have a girl and not a boy. So yeah, I think it sounds moor like a better match of a man for me if they would be moor like you than obviously what you are being told a real man is.

My women's studies classes talk about this. Patriarchy & the media portray only one model of ideal masculinity that's all rugged and such, but men are obviously much more diverse. Guys are only put down when they act feminine because it threatens that model and the dominance men get through it... hence homophobia and the criticism of women who choose a non-meek and independent model of femininity. In summation: it's ok to be different. 3nodding