I don't wanna...

[Thaliat Everwood]

baby.

I don't want one.

Why the ***k can't other women accept the fact that I do not want the nine months of physical agony and "what if-" scenarios of all the things that could go horribly wrong, the fiscal burden, and full time responsibility of another fragile life that would be fully dependent on me? Yes, babies are cute. Yes, I like them. It does not mean that I want one of my own. I had to do a LOT for my little "niece" while she lived with me, including dealing with night terrors. It was perfect birth control for me. I don't want that full time, it isn't for me. I also know all the medical troubles running in my family. Why would I want to risk passing THAT on to a poor little baby? Why should anyone even want to push me into bearing spawn knowing I have such genetic curses in my code?

If I want children, there is always the adoption option. Why is that not good enough? Don't those poor kids deserve to have homes? Why do I have to have a baby just because other women feel it is the culmination of their worth (I hope this is not as common as the people around me make it seem)...why is it my life must be empty just because I don't want to spawn? Aren't we over populated enough by the dimwitted masses...wouldn't my spawn just be invisible mixed in with theirs anyway? I see no point in having a baby of my own. If I want love, I have a boyfriend and a cat. I think I am covered in the affection department. I don't need to procreate. Yeesh!

scream

OK, ranting done. Commencing with spooning:

-discuss people pushing their ideals on you
-try to prove why I'm *obviously* a failure to womenkind (be prepared to rumble if you pick this)
-discuss why you agree/disagree (it's ok to want babies, really...just don't want 'em for me)
-discuss people who really should keep their freakin' opinions on our life to themselves
-whatever else I missed  

[Taeryyn]

But Thal, women are baby-makin' machines; clearly you're just defective, since your gender was obviously just meant to be a walking incubator and babysitter. rolleyes


Ugh. I never want to have children, either. I don't get as much harassment about it, since I'm a guy, but people often say the same thing: "Oh, you'll change your mind once you get older."

I highly doubt it. I don't want kids for the same reason I don't want a puppy: It's a HUGE hassle, financially and otherwise, and I have no interest in spending all my time cleaning up excrement and other messes. And kids are way, way worse than puppies. Puppies don't talk back, and they don't leech off of you for 18+ years. Dx

I've been told that I'm selfish for thinking this way, and you know what? I'm ok with that. I'd rather be selfish and childless, than be a horrible parent and raise ******** up kids with "dad never loved me" issues. :s  

[Thaliat Everwood]

What I don't get is why people feel it is selfish not to want children. We aren't saying they can't reproduce if that is what they want for themselves. We're just saying we don't want to...and the message we get is that we'll change our minds, or we're being selfish, or we'll regret it when it's too late, or all of the above. Because, clearly, we just don't know what we wat, what's right for ourselves, and/or something is just wrong with us.

I'm so envious of you not getting this crap as much because you're a guy. Just one more reason I am convinced I'd be happier if I was born a man....a gay man. Some how I don't think that would have been all that much easier for me, really. It would just give the family a whole new set of gripes! xd  

[Aachren]

Eh, you should probably never say never and all that. But I won't take you to task too hard over that. ;D

Anyway, what's wrong with being defective? I'm just going to adopt/foster teenagers.  

[Kalstolyn]

Kals is questing again!

Meh. I decided years ago that I would never spawn children of my own. I would gladly adopt a kid or two or maybe even three, if I were in a stable and financially secure enough position to do so. There are more than enough kids out there who need love and a decent upbringing. There's no point in creating more of them. Also no one needs to inherit my genetic ********. That being said, if by some unlikely chain of events, I find myself pregnant, I'll take that to mean that I was intended to produce a child after all.

Personally, I think it is selfish to WANT children. My mother wants me to have children because she wants her biological line to continue. She already has two beautiful, incredible granddaughters who are not related to her except by virtue of being her stepson's children. They love her and she gets to spoil them and she's a bigger influence on their lives than either of their biological grandmothers. But she wants me (or jimsheep, but he can't due to his choice in spouses) to have babies just so she can have grandkids who are related to her.

Yes, I have a very good set of skills for raising children. Yes, I probably will raise children someday. I have had a hand in the raising of more than a few of them thus far. I just think that in my case, those skills are best put to use by sharing them with kids who might lack the important nurturing in their lives to let them thrive, rather than selfishly hoarding it all within my own family. I also have no desire to give birth to an avenue for vicarious living, a status symbol, a man-snare, a "prodigy", a tax benefit, a punching bag (literally or figuratively), or any of the other things that people use their children for. I just don't feel the need to push another human being headfirst out of my v****a in order to feel better about myself. So sue me.

Check sig for details!

 

[Alarias]

Luckily I don't get hassled about this sort of stuff. I'm in no position to be having children and even if I were, I am just not down with the idea.

Teen pregnancy is a pretty big issue around here so the fact that I'm in my 20s and still baby-free is viewed very positively. And nobody cares if I say I don't ever want kids. They might doubt that I will always feel that way but, that's the extent of the conversation.

As for the whole "it's our duty, not only as women, but as people to reproduce" thing, I'm gonna go ahead and disagree there. I'm going to say it's our duty to improve the quality of life and focus a little less on the quantity.

If it were up to me, people wouldn't even be allowed to have children until properly tested (genetics, IQ, etc) and given a license.  

[icywind1980]

I don't blame you miss. I don't want a child either, for a variety of reasons, the fact that I am selfish being the #1. I don't want to give up my time or my money to raise a child that probably won't turn out very well anyway. I like my routine and my time. I like my time with my man without any distractions. I like getting home and sacking out on the couch in front of the tv, or on the computer. I would never be able to do these things with a baby's constant needs. And I would resent that. And the baby would know that. It would just be too much for me.

And on top of that, people are constantly asking when I'm going to have one. Even after I explained the reasons. They think I'm selfish for denying the world another child. This world doesn't need anymore unloved and unwanted babies, so I think I'm doing it a favor.  

[LorienLlewellyn]

Luckily, Thal, I don't think that is an issue everywhere. I have never heard anyone around where I live saying it's wrong, or immoral, or selfish to not have children. I have never heard anyone pressure anyone else in that way.

In fact, with teen pregnancy and overpopulation being huge issues, I tend to look down my nose at anyone who has a baby before the age of 20 or anyone who has more than two biological children (two children replace the parents and keep the population relatively stable, while three or more children significantly contribute to overpopulation).

So I am fine with:
-People who do not have children (assuming they're not idiots who are getting an abortion every couple of months; those people piss me off)
-People who adopt
-People who foster
-Adults (over 20 at the time of pregnancy) who have two or fewer biological children (exceptions: having one baby then getting pregnant with twins, people who had their kids 20+ years ago when we didn't know as much about overpopulation and its effects, people in third world countries where girls are forced into marriage at 16 and have no education on much of anything let alone overpopulation and birth control)

I'd love to see some laws passed about reproduction. Those people with 18 kids who are trying for 19 should be in prison for life, for example. And I'd love to see people have to pass some sort of basic standardized test, take a drug test, and take a class on health/breastfeeding/pre-natal development before they're allowed to get pregnant.

On a similar note, I have volunteered to hand out condoms for the Center for Biological Diversity. The condoms come in little boxes printed with information on human overpopulation and what it is doing to certain animal populations.
http://www.endangeredspeciescondoms.com/
http://biologicaldiversity.org/news/press_releases/2010/condoms-02-11-2010.html  

[icywind1980]

I agree with LorienLlewellyn on most points except the one about the government passing laws on reproduction. This is a free country and although I do not want to have a child, no one has ANY right to tell me how many I may or may not have.  

[Taeryyn]

Controlling reproduction would be very, very hard, and I don't think the government would ever attempt it. x3

It would be very hard to enforce, especially where abortion is such a hot-button issue, at least in Canada in the US.

Say a couple already had the maximum number of children allowed, or a woman had been found too unintelligent to legally reproduce...

What would the government do if these people conceived? I'm pretty sure forced abortion is considered a huge abuse of human rights, and is no better than forcing a woman to carry a baby to term if she doesn't want to.

As for that family with 19 kids...do you mean the Duggars? I really have no problem with people having huge families, so long as they can support them without government assistance. Other individuals with too many kids, though, like that Nadya Suleman (the "octomom")....ugh. She should not be allowed any more children.  

[wakusei]

Reproduction laws...like what China has? And their's isn't even a law, just a policy.

Yeah, that'll never happen.  

[icywind1980]

Taeryyn

Controlling reproduction would be very, very hard, and I don't think the government would ever attempt it. x3

It would be very hard to enforce, especially where abortion is such a hot-button issue, at least in Canada in the US.

Say a couple already had the maximum number of children allowed, or a woman had been found too unintelligent to legally reproduce...

What would the government do if these people conceived? I'm pretty sure forced abortion is considered a huge abuse of human rights, and is no better than forcing a woman to carry a baby to term if she doesn't want to.

As for that family with 19 kids...do you mean the Duggars? I really have no problem with people having huge families, so long as they can support them without government assistance. Other individuals with too many kids, though, like that Nadya Suleman (the "octomom")....ugh. She should not be allowed any more children.

Those people on TV are well taken care of. They do it just to be on TV and get the money, so I don't worry about their kids, each and everyone of them will get to go to college, and some might not even flunk out.  

[LorienLlewellyn]

icywind1980

This is a free country and although I do not want to have a child, no one has ANY right to tell me how many I may or may not have.

Taeryyn

As for that family with 19 kids...do you mean the Duggars? I really have no problem with people having huge families, so long as they can support them without government assistance.

I would agree with those statements if overpopulation wasn't an issue. But overpopulation makes resources run short. It makes food scarce. It contributes to pollution. It leads to clearing forests and endangering animals to make room for us.

That means not only is it an issue, it is a matter of life and death. Those people with 19 kids are contributing to pollution, giving the rest of us more health problems, decreasing our lifespans, taking up more than their fair share of resources, etc.

So I think laws about the number of children we can have would not be much different than any other laws that keep us healthy and safe, laws that keep company pollution in check, or laws that limit on the number of animals hunters can kill.

Taeryyn

Controlling reproduction would be very, very hard, and I don't think the government would ever attempt it. x3

But yes, I do agree that it would be difficult to enforce. As such, I would be surprised to see it happen. But I would support forced sterilization after two kids. Sure, some people might not like it, but murders probably don't like being told they can't kill us either. I say too bad.  

[icywind1980]

LorienLlewellyn

icywind1980

This is a free country and although I do not want to have a child, no one has ANY right to tell me how many I may or may not have.

Taeryyn

As for that family with 19 kids...do you mean the Duggars? I really have no problem with people having huge families, so long as they can support them without government assistance.

I would agree with those statements if overpopulation wasn't an issue. But overpopulation makes resources run short. It makes food scarce. It contributes to pollution. It leads to clearing forests and endangering animals to make room for us.

That means not only is it an issue, it is a matter of life and death. Those people with 19 kids are contributing to pollution, giving the rest of us more health problems, decreasing our lifespans, taking up more than their fair share of resources, etc.

So I think laws about the number of children we can have would not be much different than any other laws that keep us healthy and safe, laws that keep company pollution in check, or laws that limit on the number of animals hunters can kill.

Taeryyn

Controlling reproduction would be very, very hard, and I don't think the government would ever attempt it. x3

But yes, I do agree that it would be difficult to enforce. As such, I would be surprised to see it happen. But I would support forced sterilization after two kids. Sure, some people might not like it, but murders probably don't like being told they can't kill us either. I say too bad.

Over population is not an issue in the US. It is in many other places and I cannot decide how those countries make decisions for their citizens. But if our government decided they wanted to put regulations on our relations, I would stay long enough to vote it down then jump ship.  

[LorienLlewellyn]

icywind1980

Over population is not an issue in the US.

"The human population stands at 6.8 billion and is projected to reach at least 9 billion by 2050. 'Without universal access to free birth control and engaging public education about the serious consequences of overpopulation, the global population could reach 15 billion by mid-century,' said Serraglio. 'The Earth simply can’t sustain that many people and provide a high-quality life for all species, including humans.'...

'Through the empowerment of women, universal, free access to birth control for everyone who wants it, and education of all people, we can stabilize global population at a sustainable level,' said Serraglio. 'The United States, which has the highest population growth of any developed nation and extremely high consumption levels, is a key factor in this problem. We should be taking the lead in promoting policies that will stabilize global population.'
http://biologicaldiversity.org/news/press_releases/2010/condoms-02-11-2010.html