|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 11:19 am
I wrote a little short one page story (It was one page in word I SWEAR! xD) about Influenza for my Health 2 class. It was a unanimous yes vote to be put in the school's literary magazine, and that takes a lot. We are very critical. This is what got in.
In Flew Enza
I had a little bird…Its name was Enza…I opened the window…And In flew Enza…
It was just an innocent little playground chant. A simple rhyme the kids had made up. That’s all it was, right? That’s what we all thought…Until it hit us. The ripple in the pond’s still water, some might say. To us, it was more like a huge splash in the torrent of the stream. What was it?
I had a little bird…
“Now, now class calm do-Excuse me a second…” the teacher wheezed. He left the room and we all heard the faint sounds of him having a coughing fit. One of the kids snickered and made a gesture that mocked choking. Everyone laughed until we heard that horrible noise that came right after. It was a bone chilling sound. It was like one out of a horror film: A gasp for air, then a cry of agony. Silence followed, and bewildered expressions arrived close behind.
Its name was Enza…
“Is Mr. Gregory okay?” asked Little Sally. One of the kids had already raced to the door and was standing there shocked. Mr. Gregory was laying there, still. It seemed like all the life had left his body just like his coughs had. We didn’t know it at the time, but The Silent Killer had worked its way into our society, and it has just taken its first victim. Mr. Gregory, you know what took your life.
I opened the window…
Many people followed suit soon after. It was an epidemic for which there was no cure. We felt helpless and useless for the first time in a long time. It was not a welcome feeling, and we certainly weren’t prepared.
And…
In the months that followed, we had no idea what to do. We tried quarantining people. It didn’t help. We tried to calm people down, and the result was more chaos. It started like a normal cold. Then you got sick. After a while, you felt worse than you have ever felt. You truly couldn’t stop it at the time. We didn’t know what it was enough to do anything. The Silent Killer had prevailed. We thought it was over. That dreaded virus…
Influenza…
Even the super critic of the group was very impressed.
What do you guys think?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 11:25 am
Hey nice to see you accepted the invite smile
Anyway, on the topic of your piece.
I like the play on words you have going here The image it creates is of something that can't be stopped, once the window's open, it's as if it couldn't be shut.
The added feeling of a window being open and a chill draft coming through is also something I found myself thinking of when linked to illness.
It would be good to see more pieces like this in the CDS, well done (^_^)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 3:10 pm
I agree with Giyari, there should be more pieces like this on CSD.
I love the imagery. I love how it is written as well. surprised
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 3:27 pm
Because I'm currently fighting off a nasty head cold, this honestly gave me goosebumps.
I quite like the imagery, as well as the allusion to the 1918 Infuenza Epidemic.
More please?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:08 pm
Dude, you should do one for Ring Around The Rosie.
I like how it slowly gets darker. Nice.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:59 am
AHHHHHHH memories twisted . That was a great short story. very well put together. you should do more and post them here.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:51 pm
~Twitches~
I HATE YOU.
You're too good.
THAT WAS EPICNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 6:01 pm
That was good. I can imagine the narrator narrating and a chorus seeing the italicized words echoing in the background.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
