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[SHORT] Let Me In?

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ecopper12

PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:17 pm


I got bored, and decided to try and exercise my creativity. It's short, and the twist may not be all that good, but I just wrote it in like...Twenty minutes?

Let me in?

“C-C-Can’t we talk this over? I mean, you don’t have to do this. I have plenty of money and-“

“Shut it, kid. You’ve dug yourself this grave, and it seems you made it a bit too deep.”

“No…No! Please, just don’t kill me!”

“Sorry, but I have no more time to listen to your whimpering. I hope you’ve made peace with everyone in your life, kid. You won’t be seeing them again anytime soon.”

“No…!”


“That was me about five seconds ago. A typical blubbering mess was what I was. But then again, who wouldn’t be in a situation like that? I was standing with my back against a brick wall in an alley, with a big burly, bear-man pointing a gun at me. Can you honestly say you wouldn’t be begging for mercy if you were in my shoes?

I suppose it’s partly my fault I got into that mess anyway. I had gotten into a bit of trouble a few years prior, and it was probably not the best idea to do what I did. In short, I got busted for – as much as it pains me to admit it – drug trafficking. Risky business, isn’t it? It especially was, given that I was sixteen at that time. What drove me to do it, I still don’t know. Money was a big factor, I guess. I’d do anything to provide food for my mother and sister.

I was caught when a witness apparently thought suspicious activity was going on when I met with the other man at the hand-off station. It didn’t take the cops long to find me.

I was tried, convicted, and sentenced. Those were not the best years of my life, I can tell you that for sure. You’d think doing time would make me a tougher guy, but if anything, it just made me more of a coward.

I was released on probation a few days after my twentieth birthday, and I made a bee-line for my family’s place of residence. That was where I was stopped by my former drug lord. His company had been discovered due to my little run-in, and he was currently on the lam. He didn’t look like he was enjoying it either. You can pretty much tell what happened from there.

So, what do you say, Peter? Let me in? Am I worthy enough to cross the Pearly Gates? I’m sure God has a few choice words for me.”

The Saint nodded his head and the gateway to paradise swung open. I walked past them, and knew I was truly at home.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 1:39 am


Pretty incredible for twenty minutes of writing.
I'm guessing this is a stand-alone, oneshot kind of thing?

I like your writing style; it's very intimate and personal, and that's my favorite kind to read :]

velvetsophisticate


ecopper12

PostPosted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 7:30 am


technologii
Pretty incredible for twenty minutes of writing.
I'm guessing this is a stand-alone, oneshot kind of thing?

I like your writing style; it's very intimate and personal, and that's my favorite kind to read :]


Yeah. I was trying to get my mind working so I could stop procrastinating my novel.

I figured I would write a short little oneshot, and see if it was worth a look.

Seems like it was, Thanks!
PostPosted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 3:42 pm


Dude that's awesome!!!! Seriously you can write better than me

Rin Kuran

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Finished Writing

 
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