Name: ZaexilliaAge: 16
Nameday: 3560.02.27
Sex: Female
Sexual Orientation: Perplexed
Craft: Healercraft
Rank: Candidate, apprentice healer (pediatric specialisation)
Location: Western Weyr
Physical Description:
Sharing her brother's eye-catching mop of carrot-coloured hair, Zae is a picture of ephemeral sweetness, ginger curls tumbling past her shoulders to brush her hips, full, pouting lips drawn into a ghostly smile, crystalline blue eyes conveying just the slightest hint of melancholy within. She is the type of woman to hide, with a fringe covering her face, her hair layered to conceal high and round cheekbones, the well-loved, patched clothes overlarge for her slender frame. She has a slight tendency to slouch and fade into the background, preferring to be left to her work. She is an unimposing sight at 5'3.
Her wardrobe usually includes shades of blue, with the occasional hint of blushing pink. She has a fondness for flowers, which she might be found weaving into her hair on warm spring days. She likes boots over sandals, and always remembers to carry a small roll of bandages in her belt pouch, should something go wrong- Zae is a woman who prizes practical thinking.
Personality:
A gentle young lady with good intentions and a sharp mind, Zae takes the welfare of others very seriously, often to the detriment of her own. She is a meticulous individual who has ambitions of rising up in the ranks of her Craft- if she cannot follow in her family's footsteps and become a dragonrider. Surprisingly mature for a woman of such tender Turns, Zae nonetheless possesses a moody, melancholic side hidden beneath a veneer of focused compassion and professionalism.
Zaexillia is, at her core, very loving and innocent. She believes, very strongly, that everybody deserves love and a second chance. She is a young girl filled with hope and dreams of better days, that slight aura of melancholy tinged with wistfulness. She won't share her dreams with others- they are private, secrets of the heart that she cannot entrust to anyone. She is terrified of those close to her leaving- whether willingly or not, and has closed off her emotional side to save herself from pain.
A realist, she buries her daydreaming tendencies along with her childhood, which she longs to forget. She lives and works for the now, which is why she is tireless when it comes to her craft: Zae will work herself to the bone, through the worst of her own ailments, just to ensure nobody else has to suffer. Though shy and quiet around adults, Zaexillia can very easily form wonderful working relationships with children: those who observe her in the infirmary may be quick to note her nurturing, compassionate core.
Zaexillia forgets to stop and breathe, so wrapped up in avoiding her own pain and reality that she has come to deny herself. This has created some self-destructive habits, such as the tendency to lie (read: vehemently protest) when asked about her well-being, or to push herself beyond her physical limits. She has also become emotionally incapable of opening up to others, and will shy away from demonstrations of feelings. She knows her heart beats to its own rhythm and tune, but she has learnt to ignore it, suppress it even, and has lost touch of what it is /she/ truly wants. Slowly but surely, Zae has let work become everything that she is, and she'll find herself putting on masks to satisfy those close to her. She thinks she knows who they expect to see when they look at her- but being that person… That girl seems so far away to her now. Zae isn't even sure she misses her- content to work and help others as she can.
In terms of anger, Zae is the type to turn quiet and brooding, rather than explode. She went through a phase of enjoying petty vengeance, but even the appeal of a good prank has lost its luster. She is somewhat straight-edged, and likely to report other troublemakers if they plot within earshot. She has no fear of judgement, and cares very little for opinions or gossip. They weigh so very little in the back of her mind, and the end result is always that she thinks less of the originator.
She treasures her family very dearly- especially her brother Ansirien and her grandfather F'gon. Though still reluctant to share her concerns with them, she'll always be there should they ask her- time with family is invaluable. Zae has voiced her desires to be either a healer or a dragonrider to them, and was grateful to find acceptance (however grudging it might have been). Determination has always been a strong suit of this young woman, so she has chased her goals with tenacity and grit. If not one, then the other… She can't give up… Not ever.
Positive Trait List: Compassionate - Ambitious - Methodical
Negative Trait List: Self-destructive - Shy - Melancholic
History:
Born second of two, Zae's early life was idyllic. She had a large family, including a much beloved older brother to whom she looked up, and a grandfather who was one of the cool ones, not the old phogy-types who didn't let young brats play on their dragons. Zae was besotted with dragons from a tender age, and the sight of Farvath, as well as her own mother's dragon, were enough to fuel Turns of daydreams.
She did well in classes- the Harper's noted her brightness, her enthusiasm to learn, and so she was gently pushed towards a Craft. Truly, all Zae wanted was to Stand- but that would have to wait until she was fourteen.
Her brother Ansirien was two Turns older than her, and got a headstart. He did not Impress at his first clutch, and Zae wholeheartedly believed it would only be a matter of time before he did. Of course he was going to- any dragon would be lucky to have him! Zae decided to apprentice to the healercraft in the meantime, desperate to make herself useful to her home before her turn came to Stand before the dragons.
And yet, tragedy befell the family once more. In her thirteenth Turn, Thread fell once more, devastating Hold and Weyr. Zae's mother and her dragon were amongst the casualties, and suddenly she and Ansirien were orphans. F'gon took them in, and Zae knew, when she looked at him, that his heart ached and cried as badly as hers did. She bowed her head, closed her mouth, and threw herself into her work.
Where once a sunny and energetic child had been now stood a young woman aged by tragedy, more reserved and withdrawn. She knew she was not the only one to be touched by this senseless destruction, so she put aside her own pain to help those less fortunate. She felt a deep connection to the youngsters who had no family at all, and knew from that moment on she wished to work with children, if her dragon never broke the shell.
At fourteen, she accepted her right to Stand. She was afraid of her grandfather's opinion, but he mercifully kept his judgement to himself. She knew Ansirien was afraid- but she didn't know how to reach out to him… She was hardly strong enough to stop herself from crying- how on Pern was she going to help him? She found herself feeling disconnected from her beloved family, despite holding a deep desire to nurture and care for them. The more she fought to ignore her feelings and bottle her grief, the less she felt overall- each day drifting in and out of existence as she went between the infirmary and the hatching sands in a blur of banal routine.
It was not the first clutch. Those lucky few who never had to wait more than once… Zae wondered what their lives were like. She wasn't resentful, or bitter- just quiet. Alone. Some thought she was thoughtful, or pensive. Those who hadn't known her as a child mistook her for being stupid. But in candidacy, she followed the rules to the letter, never willing to shame herself or her family, looking down on those who thought of rules as guidelines or inapplicable to themselves. She wasn't good at making friends anymore.
She was glad when Ansirien returned to candidacy, and stuck by his side when possible. Her smile was most commonly seen around him, but there was still a melancholy hint in her eyes. She knew patience and hope were necessary ingredients for Impression, but despair had a nefarious way of digging its claws into her heart. Zae still has many things to learn- like letting go of the old scars, and not letting despair twist her... but each day is a chance to try, and she is not the kind of woman to give up.
Other:
F'gon of Bronze Farvath played by Pach
Ansirien played by Tatterpixie
Candidate Specific Questions
Do you want them to have an official Search RP? No
Do you understand they will age every passing year regardless if you're there to RP the or not? Yes
Do you want them to have a possible Stands Impression? Not currently
