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It was cold - freezing, really - but that didn't stop Elibrie and Kesucianth from taking a moment to sit on their own and enjoy being outdoors, in the snow-muffled quiet of a new morning. She was warmly bundled in her coat with a flit inside the hood, and leaning against her little blue dragon, she had everything she needed to keep her safe from the cold. It was a good, quiet moment, and she had taken very much to such things.

While she had always been a soft, quiet girl, not all of it had been by nature - some of it had been learned, deeply-ingrained rules that governed how she, as female, ought to interact with the world and everyone in it. Quiet was expected, to speak when spoken to, to always bow to the wants of those above her, and so much of her quiet had been tinged by anxiety, buzzing with thoughts and considerations about exactly what to say and do and feel and how. Much of that anxiety was gone now, banished both by Kesucianth and by the hard-found knowledge of just how trivial many of those worries were.

Elibrie simply didn't have the time nor the space for them anymore. If she worried, it was for Juhvek, or for her sister. At first she had worried for Kesucianth, too, but after a very long first night and day, the clouds had begun to clear, and now, they were as they should be, safe and secure with each other. Perhaps they had not come together quite as they should have in a perfect world - instead a screaming, broken-hearted girl and a little dragon afraid and desperate not to lose her - but with help and love, they had found their way.

And Elibrie's quiet now was different. A little softer, a little slower, but above all, peaceful. She could sit, and be, without a head full of little anxieties, and appreciate things for what they were. And if she almost dozed despite the cold, well, she was very tired.

At another time, the knowledge that she was the subject of rumors would have set Elibrie to worrying terribly, but it was simply one of those things she didn't have space for, and was too tired to muster up any cares about. In the wake of everything that had happened, and the storm of emotions that had resulted and which had been such a danger, she was exhausted. That accounted for no small amount of her current state, a distance and slowness and far-off look that likely contributed to speculations on the health of her and her blue, but how could she not be tired in the wake of so many raw emotions?

Kesucianth, more alert than she and always especially conscious of the proximity of his superiors, leaned into Elibrie with gentle, silent notice that Hybreoth neared. The surge of hate and anger the bronze had evoked at the Hatching had burned itself out almost as quickly as it had flared to life; such things were not and never had been a part of her nature, and once that initial visceral reaction had passed, there was nothing to sustain them. She knew, objectively, that the young dragon was not to be blamed - even before this, how many times had it been drilled into their heads what unbonded drsgonets were capable of? - and she had heard it far more times than was really necessary since.

No, the problem wasn't that she hated him or blamed him, but that it hurt to see him. She couldn't see Hybreoth without seeing him lunge for Juhvek, without seeing her friend lying broken and still on the Sands. And with so much still uncertain about his condition and future, it was a wound that would be hard to close. Though she and Kesucianth had yet to be assigned to a task with the other pair, seeing the bronze was still an unavoidable event, and she was already well used to that lurch in her gut and tightening of her nerves, even as she carefully set the feelings where they belonged and Kesucianth wrapped her up in soothing love. Together, they could get through all things, even this.

She first looked up to where R'him stood, and offered him a soft smile. The young man had had nothing to do with the incident, and Elibrie did not conflate him with his dragon. The smile might have been small, but it was genuine. "It's quiet. And it's good to get out of the Barracks."

The ability to sleep the night through yet escaped her, though Kesucianth was always there to soothe her when her dreams turned dark. But once she'd woken at an hour where it was permitted to be up and about, she was more than ready for fresh air, and so here she was. She let her gaze move to Hybreoth for a long moment, deliberately lingering before she nodded in acknowledgement of him and looked away and closed her eyes again, taking a deep breath. The bronze was a fact of life that could not be avoided, and she would not try. She would put all of her feelings in proper order, even if the path to doing so was unpleasant.

Brother, Kesucianth acknowledged warmly, dipping his head in deference to the bronze, though he'd not leave His' side to draw closer to his clutchmate. She needed him where he was. I am indeed well, and flattered that you would pay me such notice. I hope that the morning finds you and Yours well, also.

Elibrie couldn't say she was looking forward to the crowding and the extra noise that would come with yet another batch of dragonets and their bondeds; though in time it would surely fade, due to her current state, things that wouldn't normally have bothered her had a way of becoming overwhelming - too much noise, or being cooped up for overlong. A lot of her nerves still felt raw, and while she and Kesucianth were developing ways to counter and heal that, little things that shouldn't have been stressful were. Not enough to create panic or a breakdown, but enough that it could be uncomfortable.

But soon, R'him turned the subject away from the Barracks. It didn't surprise her when he broached what had happened at the Hatching - it had only ever been a matter of time before they would have to speak of it, she well knew. If he hadn't taken the initiative himself, she was sure she'd have had to eventually, whether at the behest of the Weyrlingmaster or the Mindhealer. The wound couldn't just be left alone, no matter how much it hurt; it would only get infected. Not that she was entirely ready, but then, there were certain things one could never really be ready for. She looked off into the distance for a long moment, as Kesucianth leaned into her both physically and mentally. Nestled in her hood, little Lullaby crooned. "It's alright. It's...it's not your fault. Or his." The latter, perhaps, she had yet to fully accept, but she knew that she was expected to, that she had to. Maybe saying it would help. "It's kind of you to apologize, but you don't need to."

Another pause followed, as she swallowed back on the emotions that wanted to well up every time she had to speak about this. It was all well and good to cry while she was talking to a select few people, but R'him most certainly would not want or need to see that. But he, and even Hybreoth, deserved an explanation for how she yet reacted to the bronze. Otherwise, it would be no small wonder if they did think that she was angry. "It...it's just that seeing it...it was hard." Which was a gross understatement, but the simplest way to express it. It would have been one thing to hear about it after, to see Juhvek in the infirmary, or even for it to have happened across the Sands, but she had been so close, seen every horrifying detail, heard him break, thought him dead. There was no lesson that could have prepared her for that. "And I can't stop seeing it. But that isn't anyone's fault."

It was simply the nature of trauma. And she was fighting her own deeply-ingrained habits to say any of it. R'him was essentially a stranger still, and a man besides - not someone she should be burdening with her thoughts or feelings. But he deserved to know that though she struggled, it wasn't because of him, or due to anger.

Kesucianth's own eyes whirled yellow-gray, both out of concern for His and because his brother was involved. The blue was in an abysmally difficult place, because while he loved His above all else, as a dragon should, he also loved his brother, and was naturally inclined to bow to him in all things. He couldn't bear the thought of a strained relationship with Hybreoth, or the prospect of the bronze being made to feel slighted, blamed, or worse. I am sorry, brother. Please - it is as Mine says, I swear it. We would not wish to cause you or Yours pain. There is nothing that more pain would solve.

Elibrie was at a bit of a loss. He was a man - and a bronzerider, besides - and she was just a girl with a blue. She was well aware that she was outranked, not only by Weyr standards but by her own, which were quite probably even stricter. Having been taught to put herself last in almost all things, she was uncomfortable being apologized to; while it was mollifying to hear, it didn't seem proper to accept it, especially as R'him had had nothing to do with any of what happened. Hybreoth might now be his, but that didn't make him responsible for what the bronze had done before Impression...and Hybreoth didn't look at all interested in any of this apologizing business, which of course was his prerogative. He was blameless, in the eyes of the Weyr, and it was all just an unhappy accident that needed to be let go.

And she was trying, she really was. She didn't want this to be who she was forever, and she knew Juhvek wouldn't want any of this for her, either. But it was hard without him there, and with seeing so little of her sister, since her schedule and Oranie's were now so different. They were the two people she trusted the most, who she could more easily be open with without fretting overmuch about burdening them. Though she was friendly with Kinyegele and Yunara, she didn't want to impose on her fellow weyrlings, even if they might not have minded at all. They deserved to bask in the joy of their Impression and new bonds, and not have someone bringing down the mood by pouring out their worries and frustrations. It was better to save those for very specific people.

"I do appreciate it," she said finally, not about to reject his apology no matter her struggle with whether or not it was really appropriate to accept when it wasn't truly necessary. But clearly it was for him, and she wouldn't even think to argue. There were very few people she was comfortable enough with to dare to disagree, and only one was a man...and he was very much not here. And even in that case, it had taken a great deal of patience and gentle pressure on his part, to get in past her habits and anxieties. "I...I wish it had been different, too." What was supposed to have been the happiest moment of her life had collided with the very worst, and coming to terms with that was its own struggle as well. She couldn't possibly have loved Kesucianth more, or he her, but it still felt as though they had been robbed of something. But there was no getting it back, and dwelling on it was both useless and selfish. They had each other, and they were unharmed, which was more than could be said of others.

As for all of R'him's hopes... "Thank you. It...it will be fine, I'm sure, in time. I have Kesucianth, and my sister." And Lusialu, though again, their schedules were quite different now, and besides that, Elibrie would hesitate to burden her. She felt guilty enough as it was that she'd Impressed while her friend had not. "And Juhvek, he- he won't hold it against us, I know." Even if she did worry, even though something like surviviors' guilt continued to gnaw at her, she knew Juhvek wouldn't be bitter or jealous over her Impressing, even while he...well. Much was still terribly uncertain, but from what little she could gather, it would be a shock if he still had even a slim chance at Impressing one day. She obviously couldn't speak to how he'd feel about that, or about his injuries in general, but it wouldn't be like him to take that out on someone else, and certainly he wouldn't wish another had been hurt in his stead. Maybe all of this would change him, but she couldn't imagine that it would do so so fundamentally. He was too good and too steady a person for that.

"You can...sit, if you want. You don't have to just stand there." Maybe he intended to be on his way sooner rather than later, which was fine, but it seemed rude not to offer.

Kesucianth's posture drooped at Hybreoth's response - truly, he wanted his brother to be happy, and not have any such strains or cares, and somehow he felt partly responsible for the fact that he did. It was, after all, His that Hybreoth's was so intent on apologizing to, but there was nothing Kesucianth could do about that. And His' reply to the apology had been without fault, he was sure of it, just as he was sure that she was entitled to her feelings and her struggles. All of which meant that none of this could even tangentially be his fault, unless he were to retread what-ifs and how at least some of this could have been avoided if he'd gone to His sooner...but he'd been trying to keep out of the way of his higher-ranking siblings and the business they'd been about, out of deference to his betters. Hybreoth included. Oh, it was all such a mess!

In spite of his brother's wish that he not worry further, the blue's eyes held steadily at yellow-gray. But His leaned into him much as he'd been leaning into her, fingers rubbing gently under his jaw, and he settled himself. I will try not to worry on it any further, if that is indeed your wish. He was, of course, ever inclined to obey, even if this particular request might be difficult to comply with. You are never undesired, brother, certainly not by me. And not by Mine, either. Please don't think she would wish you ill. She is sad, but she is trying very hard. We both are.

"It doesn't hurt to have them." Certainly, it was better than coldly shrugging it all off as having been nothing of consequence: just another Hatching, which everyone knew well could be dangerous and even deadly. So why dwell on it? She was sure there were no few who felt that way. And she understood; after all, she'd been on the Sands for other incidents, but she'd not been close to them nor to those affected, so while it had been a bit upsetting, it hadn't been traumatic. R'him, though, could easily have brushed it off - he was a Westerner who didn't know any of them, and now a bronzerider. He was under no obligation to do anything more than what the Weyrlingmaster might ask him to when it came to the subject, which made his willingness - insistence, even - on apologizing all the more surprising. He seemed genuinely nice, even seemed to have a sense of humor, and in spite of everything, she was inclined to like him. Fortunately, thanks in large part to Juhvek's progress at chipping away at least some of what she should expect from males, and her long-ingrained habits about how to interact with them, it was far from hopeless that she might come around. It certainly made slogging through an emotional conversation with a man easier, even if it still wasn't easy. But it was do-able.

"It's alright. I have to get used to it, anyway." Elibrie glanced the bronze's way again, watching him sigh and curl up. "And he's Kesucianth's friend, and I wouldn't- I've made things hard enough for Kesucianth already. Just because I can't see my friend shouldn't mean he can't see his." That was hard to get out without tears, but if any slipped by, Lullaby was quick to nuzzle away the traces. Because as hard as seeing it all had been, missing her friend was just as bad, if not worse, and there was really no cure for that but getting him back...and there was no telling when that would be. In the meantime, she could do little but learn to live with the open wound.

When he mentioned her flits, she reached up with her free hand to scritch under Lullaby's chin. "Five," she admitted with a tiny smile, using it to help take the edge away of some of the rest of their conversation. At the moment, she also had Little Lady from time to time, as Juhvek was obviously in no state to take care of her, but she thought better of explaining that. "I...was a little lonely when I got here, and they helped." Lonely, and lost; she'd had her sister, and her aunt and even uncle if she'd really been desperate enough to ask, but coming to the Weyr had been an enormous, overwhelming change no less. "Do you have any?"

She'd not noticed him with one, but to be fair, for once in her life she didn't have the attention to spare for cooing over every firelizard she happened to glimpse. "It's not a problem," she assured him, and it truly wasn't. Beyond the fact that yes, they had to get through this sooner or later, in some ways it was good to talk about it with someone who wasn't one of the authority figures she had to talk about it with. Not that it wasn't still difficult, but R'him was at least a step or two closer to being a peer. "I imagine you're missing the beach, after all this cold and snow."

I know you did not, and that what happened...it was your right, to do what you did. Kesucianth might not know the reasons, but Hybreoth was a bronze, and it was his prerogative to do as he had done. He would never say as much to His, though - he knew that they would never fully see eye to eye on that detail, and it wasn't worth rubbing salt in the wound. She hurt more than enough already. I know that in time, Mine will be able to move on. She is more resilient than she knows, and she is good. She did not have it in her to hold a grudge; all of this was only pain and trauma, not anger or hatred. The Hatching...was not what I had imagined it would be, but still we all have Ours.

He hoped that Banshidheth's soon-to-hatch brood would be able to say the same, that one of them had not had their hearts set on a certain someone now beyond their reach, but it was a thought he had been doing his best not to contemplate overmuch, and would certainly not speak a whisper of it to His. It was too terrible a thing to think on. No, it was better to let her focus her thoughts for that clutch on hope that Oranie or Lusialu would Impress and join them, and do the same himself.

Though Elibrie had no desire to snoop of her blue's conversation with his brother, she was well aware that a conversation was being had, and of the emotions that were stirring, and now and then her regard did flicker back to Hybreoth, sitting off by himself.  It seemed...a little lonely, if she was honest.  Kesucianth had thus far spent the vast majority of his time all but glued to her side, at the very least within easy reach when not physically touching her.  For all the worry about whether they would bond properly, if anything they were intensely co-dependent as things stood now.  She could, though, see Kesucianth's gaze, so focused on his brother, and feel his desire to be nearer to him, and so she gently nudged him to go over.  With some hesitation, and after a reassuring nuzzle, he did.

It felt strange to be without him after the last few days, especially in the midst of a difficult talk, but physically clinging to him wouldn't always be an option, and he deserved his own space to do his own things, even if he wouldn't presume to ask.  She really didn't know what to say as far as Hybreoth appreciating that he wouldn't be denied time with his brother in spite of not being willing to admit it, so she opted to let it be with a nod.  She knew very little about the bronze, and at the moment no desire to learn more.  Maybe one day, but she wasn't ready yet for more than co-existence. "I hope so, too.  He...he helped us a lot when we first came here, and it feels strange without him." The young man hadn't hesitated to take them under his wing, as it were, and help them navigate their new life, for no reason other than that they had needed a bit of help.  He hadn't asked for anything in return, he'd just...helped, and ultimately become their friend. "That's sad.  Not that everyone in my life has been so good, but- but I'm sorry you haven't had many.  I hope that changes for you now that you're here."

"I did, yes.  Lullaby here was the first, and the rest followed.  It's been a little over a Turn, now, since my sister and I were Searched." It was a rather extensive collection to have acquired in that span of time, she knew.  Most of her flits had been gifts, though Moondrop had been a bit of good fortune with someone offering up spare eggs from a large clutch to good homes, and she adored them all.  She'd found a great deal of solace in their company and care. "Starfall's a lovely name," she said with a smile, "One of mine is Brightstar.  Most of them seem to be adjusting well, except for Chomps, at least.  He'd have been perfectly happy if we'd had that same cot for the rest of forever, I think.  I just hope he doesn't go to try and hassle whoever gets it, since he thinks it should still be his."

"I thought Western was very pretty, when we visited," Elibrie admitted. "The beach was lovely.  I'd not mind that sort of view every day, but still, I'd rather be here, with my family and my friends.  I have an uncle at Western, but I really don't know him very well.  He left home when I was little, and no one ever said much about it after that." It had then been Turns before she'd seen him again, in the lead-up to Zenobiath's clutch, and then again before Khamaith's. "But here is home now, for me, and I hope it will be for you, too."  Having struggled initially, she certainly sympathized, and her hopes that R'him would make real friends and begin to feel at home were sincere.

Once released from His' side, Kesucianth moved quietly nearer to Hybreoth, to sit beside him and offer a light nuzzle, if his brother was willing to accept it. I am glad to hear you say so, and I am sure that Yours is no less worthy of you.  I know you would choose none but the very best, and he seems a fine fellow indeed.  It is very kind of him to reach out to Mine so, though he has no obligation to her. The blue was, of course, not privy to any struggles the other pair might or might not be having, having been utterly wrapped up in His' from the start, and he appreciated the gesture Hybreoth's was making.

I will hope that the trials are not too great, at least for awhile yet.  I know that there will be difficult days ahead, but peace for a time would be welcome.  I know that it would do me and Mine good.

'It sounds like he was a good guy.'

Elibrie's heart lurched, and she clenched her hands in the fabric of her coat. Abruptly, she wanted Kesucianth back - not that she had particularly wanted him to go in the first place, but she was trying very hard not to be selfish and keep him from his brother - but even as he looked back in her direction, concerned, she bade him stay where he was. He'd only just gotten settled, after all. But hearing her friend spoken about in the past tense...that hurt. She knew things were still uncertain, but he wasn't dead, and he wasn't going to die. She had to believe that. "He is," she said, not intending it as a rebuke but to reaffirm it for herself. "He's a very good person."

And that was no small amount of the difficulty in coming to terms with what had happened. Why Juhvek, of all people, and why so badly? He'd not been the only one to not immediately respond to Hybreoth's summons, so why him? And even if he had been, would that really have merited that amount of violence? Yes, she'd heard over and over again in lessons that such things could happen, she'd seen others injured before - injuries like Miela's - but it was different when it was someone she knew, someone she cared about deeply. It was so hard to come to grips with that, and how cruel the world seemed for it. 'Life isn't fair' was no comfort.

Up to now, she had been wrestling her way through the conversation well, but with that one sentence, she'd hit a wall. Things hurt again, sharply so, and she had to stop and get ahold of the feelings before she could continue. A part of her just wanted to leave, but hadn't she told R'him that it was alright? That she didn't mind? But there was a reason her friend wasn't here, that he almost had been past tense, and that reason was sitting not far away, with her dragon. But she was supposed to let it go. She was expected to let it go. It would be better for everyone if she did...and yet, in some corner or her heart, she felt like she would be betraying Juhvek if she did.

It was a lot. All of it.

Elibrie really didn't know how to respond to R'him's attempt at humor, so she simply let it be. She was sure he didn't mean anything by it, but it was far, far too soon for her, and maybe it always would be. Slowly, though, she relaxed her hands, and tried to carry on. Lullaby slipped out of her hood and into her lap, so that she could soothe herself by stroking him in Kesucianth's (physical) absence. With some effort, she mustered up a smile - she was, at least, fairly decent at faking those when necessary. "I suppose you didn't have much use for a winter wardrobe at Western, regardless." For while it might not always be balmy and beautiful, there was cold and then there was mountain cold. "I don't really need the whole world, but it will be nice to give Kesucianth a bath somewhere warm."

She'd never been adventurous, and even now couldn't imagine up and going somewhere just because she wanted to - except to see a certain friend, but she didn't even want to consider the possibility that by the time such options were open to her, she'd have to go anywhere to visit him. Surely he'd long have been home by then...right? She still struggled with the fact that he'd been sent away at all, though she knew they'd not have done it if it hadn't been in his best interests.

"No, everyone's been fine, but maybe it's different for Candidates than it is for riders transferring in." Or visiting and making a scene, as everyone had heard that particular tale. Maybe some of the more jealous or uncharitable sorts might not enjoy it when a swap from Western went on to Impress a High Reaches dragon, particularly a metallic, but then, they weren't exactly Elibrie's type when it came to friends, so she wouldn't know outside of silly Barracks or Dining Hall gossip - and she wasn't among the Candidates anymore to hear it. "You'll find plenty of friends, I'm sure."

And it wouldn't hurt that he had a bronze, either, though she left that politely unsaid. Not that color biases bothered her - it was simply a fact that many bronzeriders seemed to enjoy a certain amount of popularity, and to keep their fellows' company.

Kesucianth had scarcely had time to even begin to soak in his brother's company when he felt the spike in emotion from His, and he'd quickly jerked his head around to look her way with worried yellow eyes and a wordless offer to return, but at her bidding he stayed in place. Still even as he returned his attention to his brother with an apologetic nuzzle for his lapse in attention, he leaned mentally into his bonded to wrap her in his love. Even if he wasn't physically beside her at this precise moment, he was very much still with her. He was also keen to make sure he was giving Hybreoth his due, however, though he hoped his magnanimous brother would forgive that moment of seeming inattention. Surely he would understand his concern for His. The pale blue was in an abominably tricky position, though he would never say as much to either his rider or his brother; he simply counted his lucky stars that his did not begrudge him his relationship with his sibling, even though he knew it was hard for her right now. He could feel it, and it was hard for him, too. Even though she'd assured him she was fine, that he could stay with Hybreoth for now, he felt guilty for not being right beside her, as he had been almsot all this time.

I care about your feelings, he assured him, and meant it sincerely, even if he was caught in quite a difficult place, since he also cared about Elibrie's feelings. And I'm sure if you wished to speak to someone about it, there are helpful headknobs to be found. After all, he and his had had talks with the Weyrlingmaster and a mindhealer - there were outlets, if Hybreoth wanted them, he was sure. Not that he thought his brother needed them, but...well, he was trying to be helpful, and he was only a very young dragon with limited experience, so that was what he landed on, since it was all very fresh in his mind.

He was honored and pleased to be called favored, and was happy to lean closer to his larger brother. I will take peace for as long as I can have it. Mine and I both need it. He knew that when the time came, she would be ready - that she was braver and stronger than some might realize, but first she needed time to heal.

She was trying so hard, and it was frustrating to fail in spite of all her efforts. She had to get past this, she had to, if she ever wanted to be a normal weyrling if she she didn't want this to be all anyone thought she was. Just a weak little girl who hadn't been able to handle what they'd trained for. One hand clenched in her coat again as she forced back tears.

"I'm sorry," she said hoarsely, for she truly was. "You said...you said he was, like he's dead." It wasn't accusatory, but she thought he at least deserved to know what had made her upset. She'd tried to stifle it, but clearly hadn't done so well enough - she simply had too many tells. "I'm sorry, it's- it's my fault. You- I know you mean well, I just-"

I'm broken.

Elibrie looked up as he made ready to leave, though it was difficult to meet his eyes...but she had always shied away from looking men in the eyes, so that was hardly a new development. "I want to try again, please. Not now, but we can...we can talk about something else."

She could try to be normal, if he could forgive her for being such a mess in the beginning. Not that he was under any obligation to - he was a bronzerider, after all, so the lead was his. He didn't owe her anything, not even the apology he'd come to give. She would understand if she wasn't worth the effort. The trouble.

The yellow in Kesucianth's eyes was quickly joined by gray as his brother bristled and moved to depart. His posture sagging, he looked sadly between his rider and Hybreoth. He loved his brother dearly, but His was his world, and to feel her hurt so... He nuzzled softly at the bronze, before moving to wrap himself around Elibrie. On his way, he gently tapped R'him's hand with his nose - he understood what the young man was trying to do, and he appreciated it.

Another time, then, brother. I will look forward to it. A courtesy indeed, though times when he wasn't near His were, by necessity, few and far between at this juncture. But eventually, perhaps.