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| Would you hire me for a party? |
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| Total Votes : 25 |
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 Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 8:46 am
The church of FG4PGs is filled with chatter as the groom stands at the altar snoozing as the bride takes her time. The priest in the back of the church takes a swig out of a bottle of vodka. "I seriously need to get paid more for this," taking the bottle from his lips. The crowds voices contiune to rise as they anxiously wait for the bride. The groom yawns out of sheer boredom. The priest makes his way to the alter and looks at the entire room filled with people. His ears twitch with the noise starting to bother him. He finally gets aggravated and fires off his gun. Everyone suddenly becomes quiet as they stare at the priest who is now lighting a cigarette.
"I have a gun and I will not hesitate to shoot you. Now that that's settled, if anyone else would like my services for weddings, parties, and the even occasional c**k fight - give me a call after the ceremony. I'm .5k an hour. Ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages - I am available and seeking. Preferably, if you've got a creepy black face with a purple eye and are the bride's momma - give me a call. I'll show you a good time."
Everyone wastes quietly for the ceremony to start, after the priest finishes his cigarette he gets frustrated. "Stupid bride! Why the hell is she being so slow!?"
The priest storms down aisle and into the room where the bride, he grabs her by the arm, "You're late!"
The bride tugs away,"I can't hook my bra all the way up."
The priest stares at her than starts to laugh. She slaps him in the face. Shortly, the bride and priest come out of the room and a young boy runs up to the bride. "Momma, are we ready?" The bride nods.
The priest looks at the child then bride, he glares, "A pre-marital sex baby! For shame!" The bride rolls her eyes and kicks the priest into the ceremony room. She walks in there with the young boy following after her.
"Alright, let's get this show on the road. I want to get to the reception as soon as possible. They're got cocktail weenies there," the bride says as she begins to walk down the aisle with the boy walking close next to her
And thus the Ceremony begins...
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:09 am
The priest clears his throat as he stands on the alter in front of all the people. He opens up his book and speaks," I welcome you all here today to join the celebration of the marriage of Ace and Jfm." The priest suddenly sneezes and covers the book in snot, "Ewww..." He tosses the book and rubs his hands together. "Well folks, this a comical wedding anyway and we all know these two will probably be divorced in three weeks so let's get down to the I do's!"
The priest turns to jfm, "Do you jfm take this um, person to be your wife -" He gets even more irritated and folds his arms, "I don't get paid enough for this, ya'll can do this yourselves."
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:17 am
hey don't ya have to do the anybody have any objections man. I mean that's the best part.
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:18 am
"Objections? Why yes, objections!"
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:19 am
-Slaps forehead- "Why'd even hire you..."
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:21 am
*Mommy sniffs and brushes away a single tear...* I can't decide!!!! gonk
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:22 am
*Rubs chin* "Damn, mom's hot."
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:22 am
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:22 am
can i have the gun? I need somethin like that?
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:22 am
*little sister giggles* That man is funny...
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:22 am
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:23 am
Goddess Ace -Slaps forehead- "Why'd even hire you..." it was short notice...... xd
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:23 am
this rev needs a time out and this wedding needs to GET ON i'll do props then
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:24 am
if only i could get the gun pull my cloack over my had and dissappear i would be good to go on a rampage! Ah but i left my cloack at home. Oh wait i can stael darth's pirate
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:24 am
"Short notice? Like your -"
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