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 Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 1:14 pm
I feel a little tired. I keep going to katsuhaiabi with my problems.. but really, I need to stop. I don't need a gaian psychologist. I don't need any psychologist at all! My guild failed because i am to attached to P-GoD and never even posted there..... I am afraid of getting banned for things I don't do.... I am even picking up on katsuhaiabi's hatred of emoticons!! I barely ever use them anymore and it is all getting to my head!! Oh well... I started a blog. This is going nowhere........
My glasses are broken and getting fixed today. I have the font size on my computer as big as it goes but it still does not help... I have a back pain because of my new computer chair... and I am going to go soon because frankly, I need to close my eyes before I get a pounding headache...
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Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 4:47 pm
You developed a healthy hatred of emoticons?! That's wonderful! Great, now people in this guild know that I listen to problems... it's really okay, though, I don't mind.
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Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 5:42 pm
Heehee yeah healthy... and they know.. hahaha!!
Today i got my glasses back. The frame was broken on the left side and the screw was out on the right side. Never ride roller coasters with your glasses on. I put them on for the first time since yesterday morning and just could not help but think... 'Well this is different!!' My eyesight is very bad, the worst in my family. The closest I can see things clearly is about 1 and a half inches away from my face.
I am going to the springs tommorow, to see a friend. I bought her the gaia Kiki Kitty tee shirt as a gift. Soon i am going to see POTC Dead Mans Chest, and my friend is coming with.
My 'healthy' hatred of emoticons seems to be putting everybody down... I keep telling them not to use them in messages to me and they are like, "Why?" 'emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon' So I just have to ignore them.
I half suspect they don't care.. and they half suspect I am joking. I really can't stand it. All these emoticons on my screen shining all colorful with all of the movement.... They should give you a choice whether to have them there or not! But oh well....... That might be all for me today, depends on how many times I feel like commenting katsuhaibi's profile....
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Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 5:52 pm
Sorry sir, I have that little quirk where I capatalize two letters... most of the time i try to fix it though... I hate it when I look it over.. Today i misspelled maybe 'maby' and read a disturbing poem by my brother, who is Bucky F. on gaia. here it is: Bucky F. I think love is the most beautiful thing
in the world
and i don't give a ******** i have no original ideas
i'm a pathetic man
whose goal is to read poetry
to get women
to fall in love with him,
and you'd think i was reoremanding myself
and revealing my horrible dark side
by saying that,
but i was really saying,
"women who hear this, fall in love with me, or else,"
because that's what it comes down to-
an ultimatum,
life or death,
and sure, maybe i'm being extreme,
jesus,
i've seen a man jack off to a gap window display,
so don't tell me that love isn't important.
and maybe you didn't get that series of lines,
that's OK,
most of them are subtext
designed to impress people
who know too much about art,
all you need to listen to is
the 12 percent
wich contain words like "******** "a**"
and "ride my dongstick you naughty schoolgirl."
becasue in a poem about love
we all need to know things,
because we're all looking for the complete definition of love,
if only we could open up our encyclopedia brittanicas
and look up love and know,
but love isn't that easy.
they say cupid loved my so called life
and when the show was cancelled
cupid cried and cried and cried and
decided that he was going to ******** up
all of humanity
and this is why china has trouble with its birthrate
and arkansas ryhmes with date rape
and iraq is iraq,
and the fat lipo-sucked out of california
could be
its own island
but this isn't a poem about geography ,
this is a poem about love,
the bane of my existence,
the reason i hate valentine's day
and halloween,
wich is about ghosts
and i think you know where i'm going here.
i'm going to the land of girlfriends past,
and maybe i've only got three ghosts in this land,
but this doesn't mean they don't bring theor friends,
who are the ghosts of girls who have rejected me,
becasue girls rarely travel alone in this land.
lydia is from this land.
i used to kiss her
while listening to
the cure's 'just like heaven'
now i don't see her anymore
so that song makes me sad,
why must we associate music with
our love lives?
i'm not trying to be profound here
i'm just saying that music takes me
back, way back
and i can't explain the memory process involved in that,
because i am not a psychology major,
and maybe
my problem with picking up women
has to do with me asking,
'what's your major?'
but that only makes me as cheesy
as 90 percent of the guys
looking for women
and 86 percent of them have women,
so what's the deal here?
maybe i shouldn't think of women in terms
of picking them uo,
and maybe i should open up my sensitive side,
but really
the sensitive side sucks.
i've been there.
you can't imagine the type of sweaters
they make you wear.
it's not fair,
love is not fair
and war is not fair,
and i don't care what anyone has to say about
any of that,
I feel unloved,
i am sorry i need people
to tell me i'm cool,
im just that way
aren't you?
am i the only one?
i know that i can't be that
misunderstood
but you dont want to
understand me!
you just want to hear the part
where i talk about my small d**k again,
becasue the white man will always be plagued
by this rumor
until he is brave enough to fling it ut
and say,
"HA! WE ARE GIGANTIC!!"
this is not the direction
i wanted to take
this poem
honestly, i just want to be in the arms
of my true love, in a house, in a room,
in a wonderful, perfect world with our
two dogs,
a boy and a girl,
helga and lamar.
but maybe i shouldn;t have said this,
woody allen taught us
that marriage is the death trap
im almost as old as his girlfriend
she could be the long lost sister
i've been looking for,
maybe my mother gave her away
when we lived in china,
wait, i never lived in china
i think ive begun lying in this poem
i was hoping to talk about love
for 3.4 minutes
and then
come to a conclusion
somehow defining love within the poem
but...... thank you Jacob for letting me use this... I got bored around lunch. Slapped together a tunafish sandwich, even thoughi hate fish, and most tuna nowadays is dolphin!!!!!! But I did it anyways. Added about a fourth a head of lettuce, and two slices of cheese, wich pretty much drowned out the tuna taste... I feel so annoyed lately becasue no one understands me. A 20 year old woman should not be single her entire life. I have never had a reltaionship, unless you can count getting 'married' in the first grade as one. They criticize me for this. I also act too young, they say. I wear hightops and knit beanie caps, and stockings from hot topic. And i write on my jeans and cut the knees out, and everything. Why does it matter? Someone has told me several people find it charming.. and sure, they are attracted to me, but I am not attracted to them!!
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Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 1:50 pm
I am at a loss for words and I still come here. I never 'write' in my journal but I make it a promise to post here at least once when I am on. Nobody is online to talk to me today, and I am glad. I hate having to PM people right when I get on. I have started to only reply to the people I actually talk to. It has become a fad with me to send out PMs to my whole friends list. I need to stop.... because it is NOT neccesary...
Taking my time is not possible. I was rushing so fast to eat my lunch that when I went to get the cheese to put on my sandwich, that cheese in individually wrapped packages, and I threw away the cheese and sat the wrapper on my sandwich. On top of chicken from the night before last. It is times like these that I want to just URGHHHH!!! but I don't just URGHHHH!!! because I have to control my temper. My friend didn't know she was talking to my mule, someone i know in real life.. she said the thing she hates about me is my getting too angry too fast. Control. Your. Temper.
But it does not work Stef,
And I cannot control
this temper of mine
and maybe I don't want to.....
.
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Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 8:12 pm
I am going to the land of no return: the old threads of gaia. Wish me luck as I shall otherwise die of boredom and stupidity.
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Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 8:38 pm
I returned from the land of no return, with my brothers poem he wrote to a friend. Bucky F. STOP/my definition/mistress mistress: a word that defines everything about that one person who makes you feel smart and funny and who is not afraid to laugh at what you say who i would listen to if it were the end of the -- world -- but it seems that every day i am stuck in this country of prep boys and OC and blondes and bimbos and even == himbos == woth cars and mansions and ++ trailers ++ JUST STOP mistress: a person, in this case a woman, or even just a girl who can take the words right out of your mouth. and if the dictionary defines it as something crazy or evil then maybe that is the definition of mistress: a person i know who makes me feel needed when everyone else just makes me feel like i don't fit in to this california society that i am stuck in STOP and that is my definition of the word wich i let slip my sorry apology wich i type for someone i don't know in the real world who makes me feel as if i deserve to be told things worth telling. STOP and maybe this sounds strange to you like i am trying to win you over but i wrote this sorry apology for you and for my own self and if i ever insult bother annoy anger STOP you again tell me and say it out right Bucky STOP or yell at me because i can barely get anything through this thick skull of mine with the stiches and staples and prep boy hate hair that makes the girls at burger king stare swoon STOP but they don't and i have never really written a poem before so am i doing this right is this a real poem or just words thrown together no rhyme or pattern my own life STOP written in a wordpad document and copy/paste/posted here. can i ever ever ever explain why i wrote this i mean was it just out of boredom or was it to say something like for instance sorry for that word i let slip mistress and why does it bother me so much that it bothers YOU so much? STOP and when i called bobby to tell him of my untimely mistake and ask when we could go surfing again he kind of laughed it off but told me apologize you dimwit nut and make it a crazy person psyche out apology that makes people think your strange in the head beacuse Bucky, lad, and he said lad, you are good at the freaking people out stuff. STOP my definition of the word mistress: good. not bad. or crazy. or tempermental. or anything other than. you. and. this. mind. twisted. mind. of mine. STOP is it not sweet? I wish someone would write a poem for me.. even a bad one but of course never gonna happen.. I have sunburned feet.
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Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 8:43 pm
I might just have to drop off a cliff... stipid kid keeps asking me to call him. He gave his number to me. What an idiot........ I could be some serial killer stalker...
I am not, by the way, a serial killer stalker.
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Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 8:45 pm
That was a poem? ~Counts the syllables~ More like prose, but I liked it none the less.
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Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 8:50 pm
He has never written any before, besides the one I showed earlier, so he doesn't know much about it.
Why do people think I am bi? Not like it is a bod thing but I am not... just so you know. My brother is making me coffee. How sweet of him.
I sunburned my feet by putting sun screen on and forgetting my feet.... owch I can hardly walk...
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Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 8:52 pm
briaa He has never written any before, besides the one I showed earlier, so he doesn't know much about it. Why do people think I am bi? Not like it is a bod thing but I am not... just so you know. My brother is making me coffee. How sweet of him. I sunburned my feet by putting sun screen on and forgetting my feet.... owch I can hardly walk... You're walking on sunburn? Don't it feel bad...
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 12:12 pm
katsuhaiabi briaa He has never written any before, besides the one I showed earlier, so he doesn't know much about it. Why do people think I am bi? Not like it is a bod thing but I am not... just so you know. My brother is making me coffee. How sweet of him. I sunburned my feet by putting sun screen on and forgetting my feet.... owch I can hardly walk... You're walking on sunburn? Don't it feel bad... Walking on severly sunburned feet, yes. My brother came over yesterday. He brought coffee. He also spilled hot coffee on my feet, wich is not good. We talked for a while, and i thought he went home, but when I woke up, it turned out he was still here. He made me a big breakfast of pancakes and orange jusice, two apples, a grapefruit, mango, and some strawberries. He also made fresh orange juice, because he knows how much I like it. I am bored. Get online, people!! I want to talk to someone!!!!!!!
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 12:16 pm
I just listened to my entire out of date Smashmouth cd, and now... I am listening to it again. Bored. It is storming out here....... I got kicked offline and my power went out for a split second, long enough to shut the computer down!!!! What shall I do?
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 12:19 pm
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:17 pm
fresa_logica briaa fresa_logica briaa fresa_logica no. no i can't spare a ply. Gawwwwwwwwwwwsh! stare not a single ply? are you deaf?!?!?! NO! not one blaugh I can't believe you can't spare a single ply! Wait till your in the bathroom and YOU need some toilet paper! I won't need any. I don't do nasty things that require toilet paper. Besides, if I did, I'd just use your avi. domokun AHH NOT THE SMELLY BROWNIE DOMO!!! *throws smelly brownies at you domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun * as you can tell, I used emoticons at the time of this PM.
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