THE ANGST ZONE (Use this, for the love of internetz! ><)

[pixyseshy]

That reminds me of something my friend told me a little while back:

"Move on, move on, move on to bigger an better things. No matter where you start, no matter where you go, at least you have something to do even if you have nowhere to be. Because a goal offers distractions and thus you digress, but distractions leave nothing but a goal to look to which eventually finds you somewhere out there where you are doin' well."

I don't honestly know how much sense it makes. sweatdrop  

[Sentama Lin]

It makes sense, but... truthfully... I am doing that. I might not be moving to bigger and better things, for I don't need bigger or better things, since I'm content with the things I have, except for a sense of longing for someone that I still really care about, which I wish wouldn't hurt anymore.  

[pixyseshy]

Hurting is aweful. Mm, as an obstacle scratching through it regularly throws it at you head on into it, but then a weak point will show up to break on through it. It still really bites though...human emotion and persistance is such a downfall, yet keeps us alive all the same.

Ugh, brain-gasm.  

[Mugen Nagrom]

*sigh* this is long...I didn't really mean it to be...whatever...
I'm really upset right now, I don't know if it is anger or sadness exactly, but I
feel fed up with my relationships. I hate how I can never meet a girl that will stay in the same god damned zip code long enough for us to have something, and every time I meet another one its like they just forget about me. I can not take it any longer! And that is the simplest of my problems right now. It feels like my head will explode if I don't get away from it all but no one will let me leave the god forsaken place I live in. These people disgust more and more each day, each one of them blind to anything real. I should go back to college but I don't know if that is the right thing to do. If I want health insurance I have to go to college but it makes me feel dead inside. Anyone I thought I ever really connected with has left me to my own demise. I fill myself with false hopes, and it never goes my way because who likes the guy who has little self confidence, who lashes out at people when he sees their vices, who seems to have nothing interesting to say. I'm tired of all this bullshit, I just want to be ******** happy and live a good life. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of being the best friend, tired of being picked on, tired of being doubted. I have advice for myself but one can not take ones own advice easily. I don't know if I can overcome all my problems, all my fears. I'm lost in the same place I have always hated...  

[Sentama Lin]

I... can't get myself to eat anything really. I think for the past week I've only been able to get myself to eat like 1-3 bowls of rice and a few scraps of meat or vegetable, whatever was available. I've been sleeping a lot and generally feeling crappy. I'm not sure what it is... Nothing at all just seems appetizing or good or fun or anything.  

[Taeryyn]

From other posts you've made you seem to be under a fair bit of stress from the situation at your parents' place...stress can wear you down over time. It could just be a really off week, but if it continues, you should probably see a doctor.
I know I never have an appetite at all if I'm stressed out, but that's just me.  

[Sentama Lin]

I don't know... I've eaten a little more today, but basically a bagel was added to the two-three bowls of rice and scraps. I just feel like smoking and drinking life, the universe, everything, my mediocrity, my problems, and everything else away.

But it's weird... it's like I "see" myself thinking this outside of me, and it bothers me that I know it, but also that I can't help myself. Not that I have anyone that can be physically here to give me good support though...  

[blue_green]

I have once again come to the realization that the world is inevitably going to hell. burning_eyes I have taken a place as a bit of a psychologist among a few of my friends. And they have very messed up people in their lives. Including children that do sexual stuff. A five year old that isn't a virgin and often has orgeies with his friends. A two year old that's started touching herself because and eight year old started playing a "game" with her.

So, yeah, makes me not want to have children so I don't have to worry about that.  

[Trish the Stalker]

-La Belle Isolde-

 

[God-Raped-Me]

Either he was really tired, or he's not with it at all. GTR usually gets the hint in the way I kiss him!

[Begin rant]
So today is my day off, and I told GTR that I wanted to sleep in today. Well 9 am rolls around and Guin is awake and crying for a bottle and both of us are woken up. I rolled over because I figured HE would get up and take care of her..... but no. Instead he goes back to sleep making me get up and take care of Guin.

Happy ******** day off GRM!
[End rant]  

[Sentama Lin]

My mother is smoking again, and trying to hide it. I know it seems double-standard, but the smoking alone isn't the reason why I'm angsty.

This happened last year too when my dad left for business to the Philippines, and I just forsee the same things happening again. She never learns, and furthermore, she won't listen to me. It's only a matter of time 'til my sisters notice, then we tell father (since none of us can tell her anything), then... well... things recrumble. Gawds...

Sorry for taking almost-monopoly of this thread.  

[Shram]

~Shining in the Deep~

Don't worry about it Don
is there no way to help your mother without the crumbling..?

~Only you will find it~

 

[Sentama Lin]

No, there really isn't. Any option I could take my mother would respond irrationally to. Bringing a third-party person for an intervention sounds good, but I'm not quite sure who to ask for such a thing. She's been acting rather sneaky around my sisters and me for the past two weeks. One reason that I haven't said anything is because I trust (foolishly) that she isn't doing anything to jeopardize the family, since she said to my father that she wouldn't.  

[Shram]

~Shining in the Deep~

That sucks... but I am sore things will sort itself out *hugs*

~Only you will find it~

 

[Sentama Lin]

They almost always do work out in the end; well... in the end they have to.

But right now it's me feeling really stuck. :/