THE ANGST ZONE (Use this, for the love of internetz! ><)

[Trish the Stalker]

My period... is late. Or was freakishly light (I didn't eat for about 2 days, save for a couple candy bars or other things) and just spotting. I'm buying a pregnancy test tomorrow... I'm scared as s**t, as it's been well over 4 weeks since my last period now...

-La Belle Isolde-

My Scroll  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

Unprotected snoo-snoo?  

[Trish the Stalker]

Jaft

Unprotected snoo-snoo?

I used to be on birth control. The last few times were just condoms.

-La Belle Isolde-

My Scroll  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

>_>

I could always give you a.... *cough* Falcon Punch to the womb. I only charge one hundred dollars too. Or a free meal.  

[Trish the Stalker]

It's fine, I got my period, though it was the one from hell, as well as late as hell.

Today I was locked out and no one was home. I only had my boyfriend's cell number so I called him at work on his cell. He got mad that I called his cell but I told him it wasn't like I had a ******** phone book lying on the front lawn with me. He's gonna get strip torn off him when he gets home.

-La Belle Isolde-

My Scroll  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

Strip? o.O  

[Sentama Lin]

I've finally talked with someone professional about my problems. They have suggested that I break contact from my parents (or, at least, my mom) as soon as I can and keep it off until I'm healthy again. However, it sort of presents a conundrum that I'm already dealing with.

Firstly, I have no resources anymore. I have my laptop that I use for work and information purposes (because you're really really screwed now, as I noticed, without some access to the Internet), my Newton, and a duffel bag of clothes on my person and I'm debating about getting the rest of my stuff from my house. I'm still struggling to find another job to complement my less-than-part-time job right now (though at the moment I'm hopeful again). In addition, I'm getting bill calls and it's so annoying because though it is my problem and I know I have to fix it, I just can't on my own. I'm lucky enough to have friends who have offered me a roof over my head and food when the 20 USD I spend on food about every two weeks isn't enough.

The counselors have been saying that I should really really really take small little steps, but I have such a hard time doing that since -- since forever -- my view of the world has always been big picture. It's difficult for me to just concentrate on what I need when I know, relatively, other people suffer more. It's weird.

Right now I'm just uber uber stressed. Not only with life and money and... well... love. I sort of have feelings for someone, but I will not say it is love. I'd like it to be love, but I'm not sure it is. And I'm scared of it because I've already fell in love once -- and I still love him now. But this is someone close, someone who is just approachable and seems supportive and funny. And I really want to give him a shot, if he wasn't so mix-messaging me. Oft-the-time I just wanted to yell at him to stop playing with what I'm feeling because I feel I'm actually starting to consider him as someone more than a friend and someone I'd like to be with, but because he confuses me so much if he likes only girls or both I'm not sure what to do.

Life is a mess... But... I guess I'm glad I have one step in the right direction. I just want things to be fixed... I want to feel less stressed, and, for once in such a long time, I just want to feel sane and happy.

(On some good news, I've applied for H&M, Starbucks, Caribou, Hot Topic, and a Law Firm. Hopefully one of them will reply -- especially the law firm, where I'd be essentially an office assistant/data entry person.)  

[Erverain]

Regardless of how this hand you are dealt plays out, Lin, we are here for you. Know this, relax, and march into the world with your head held high and your back straight. You have an immovable support, which will be here when you need it.  

[aretoo]

Linny: It sounds like things are finally coming together for you, and know we are all here for you. (On a side note, I was very happily surprised to find a letter from you in the mail today!) mrgreen From everything you know about your family, I have to agree that getting away from your mom is a good idea, and I hope now that you're out on your own, (a) your finances will settle down without them being "borrowed", and (b) (if you want to) you'll be eligible for more financial aid (not having your parents' income to deal with).

<.<
>.>

This raccoon needs to write letters. Badly. smile  

[Sentama Lin]

It's still really scary though... like really scary. While I do have my friends it's not like I can ask my friends to help with all of my problems (or, rather, I don't want them to get any more involved than giving me housing and food). With no other resources and people calling from my school to pay the rest of the bills I'm feeling really really cornered; I'm feeling my fight-or-flight response kicking in with the phone calls.

I'm just really hoping for something to hire me so I can actually have a paycheck that can support paying them off. However, it still looks very bleak and all. The counselor/third-party says I really should worry about my basic needs first (food, clothing, housing) before loans and other bills but I don't feel they understand at all.  

[Bassios]

AAARGH!

WHY MUST TECHNOLOGY TAUNT ME SO?!

I'm getting a sore arm from playing PC FPS games too much, so I decided to go and get an Xbox 360 controller for my PC so I can play like that, and save killing my arm.

Except the only game that understands it properly, and isn't spazzing out completely when I use it is Halo. And that's the multiplayer version. Because it's not quite legal, I suspect.

Sauerbraten doesn't even know it's there, UT(GOTY) spins me round in circles because HEAVEN FORBID THE ******** STICK IS SLIGHTLY OFF ******** CENTRE, and UT2004 doesn't pick it up ******** OFF BASS IS ******** OFF.

Oh, there's a mod for Sauerbraten to make it understand gamepads and joysticks. Except it's not for the current release of it. Because no self respecting PC gamer would forgo the mouse and keyboard setup. No. Never. Not even when THEIR ******** ARM IS KILLING.

What the ********? What the hell is up with all this ******** elitism?!

 

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

Try some arm exercises, bru.

Make it strongah! Until then, I hope you can resolve your problem.

:3  

[Omochii]

Good luck, Lin. sad Really hope that everything goes well enough for you and according to plan so that you can at least be out of the deep end of things soon enough. >_<  

[Trish the Stalker]

I haven't been eating or sleeping unless I cry myself to sleep.

I don't know if that's angst or just resignation...

-La Belle Isolde-

My Scroll  

[Xikrai the Risen]

I chipped my tooth today when I fell face first of my skateboard. Actually for the second time, but this time a significant chunk came off...don't wanna eat. Can't see the dentist until Wednesday next week...don't feel motivated at all anymore today...
and the semester is coming to a close, and I've been sucking this time around.

Man, I never wanted to use this thread. But I feel like whining about today.

La Belle: Don't cry, and you need to eat some real food. I've been eating less because I miss how my dad used to cook, well home cooking in general. Come down to Virginia and let me cook you up some real food.