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 Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 7:33 am
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I don't ******** know how to cope.
I'm a full-time student. My classes cost between 900-1300 bucks every semester. I get $2500 in student loans, but my mom skims $1000 off the top first because she isn't getting student loans from her school. She's paying back all my loans anyway, because she lost my college fund when I was younger.
Anyway, I work at a job that's RIDICULOUSLY close to minimun wage. I'm getting an average of 5-20 hours a week, when I specifically wrote down in AUGUST (AND EVERY MONTH SUBSEQUENTLY) that I need 30 hours. That's just to pay all my bills and survive.
My boss is a total c**t. She's so pissy and bitchy it's like she eats WHORE FLAKES for breakfast. I don't even want to go to work anymore because she's going to ******** BE there to b***h about some little inane thing. I don't stand properly at the end of my lane. I don't press my assistance button fast enough. She talks to me like a kid when she's only four years older than I am, sends me to work in areas that I'm not trained in so she can b***h about how my work is, and demeans me to my face with passive-aggressive aggro competitive v****a bullshit.
Right now I'm relying on the leftovers from my student loans and my $200 TAX REFUND to pay my ******** bills because at the rate I'm getting paid and the hours I'm getting scheduled I CAN'T AFFORD TO SURVIVE.
I'm so angry and sick of being ******** by this job, I want to ******** scream that I quit, punch myself in the eyes and uterus simultaneously, lie down on the floor, go into convulsions, vomit all over my uniform and then DIE.
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 7:14 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 7:15 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 1:58 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 11:06 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 11:12 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 11:52 pm
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I'm currently hosting a contest in the ATG clan...
GRRR!!!!!!!
My parents, they bug the s**t outta me. My mom does nothing but sit on the couch, and my dad always hides in the garage, leaving me to basically raise my little brother and sister AND babysit my mother, who acts like a ******** two year old. I feed them, get bro and sis off to school everyday, take care of my mother everyday, get bro and sis home from school, damn near everything. What is my reward for this?
INSULTS!
My mother sits on the couch all ******** day, commanding that I do this and that, or insulting/whining at me. I understand that her back leaves her in constant pain (nevermind the fact that she's on ******** VICODIN) but that is no reason to treat me like s**t. It's getting so bad now, she whines at me OVER TEXT MESSAGES WHILE I AM IN CLASS! I'm sitting there in Math class, and my phone goes off (I always keep it in silence mode) After class, I open up my phone and it says "New text from Tammy." I open it up and see this:
"Cwissy..."
(For those that don't know, my real name is Chris) So, apparently her being bored is more ******** important than my schooling. THAT has me confused, because when I was in high school doing nothing and throwing my life away, she was incredibly active in my education. Now, she doesn't seem to give a s**t.
The way things stand right now, I cannot get a job. I, as well as my little brother and sister, am on Medicaid (government funded health insurance (mind you, we are not poor, the health insurance through my dad's job is awful insurance)) If I get a job, all of us lose our health insurance. While I am not so concerned about my own insurance, I just simply cannot screw my brother and sister over like that. I just don't have it in me. I get a federal grant every semester, and that pays for all my schooling. Everything else, I am forced to turn over to my mother. So, I have NO income, therefore cannot get a place of my own. I'm seriously starting to consider bolting and living in my car, this s**t is going to drive me apeshit before too much longer.
Occasionally, my dad will pull me aside and give me about $10 (more like sneak, If my mother found out he had money of his own she would absolutely FLIP) But that isn't even enough for me to spend on something nice for myself. I absolutely LOVE to play videogames, but my newest system is a Nintendo Gamecube. I have asked REPEATEDLY For a new system, I would love nothing more than to own a Nintendo Wii. The answer is always no, yet my mother has no ******** problem sitting on my Gamecube for hours on end playing "Mario Party" nonstop.
*sigh* My mother used to be awesome, I wonder what the ******** happened?
...The prize is 5k. Why not swing by and check it out?
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 4:07 pm
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I know I have many things -- skills, enough clothing, this new computer that I got as a half-present, half loan, half "We Love You Don" kind of gift -- and yet, the more life continues on I feel like I have nothing thanks to what my mother did. I keep telling myself things will be better next month and next month (and, finally, things will be better next month) but I'm so tired of all of this.
I get so scared and freaked out now at the potential thought of employers or rental companies (I was lucky enough to get an apartment with a roommate who is understanding of my situatoin) looking through my credit, and me with nothing else but the excuse that I thought I was doing what was best for my family. I've done nothing wrong except care about my mother and sisters and family way too much, and now I feel that I've lost everything because of it. I know, logically, it's not true; I have so many things that I can name that I'm grateful for. But I feel like a dependent in the worse kind of way right now. No matter how many applications I send I'll never get anywhere ever again.
I'm tired of trying to be the good guy now -- because apparently even your own parents will use and abuse your kindness. What else do I have left? Will I be forever searching for jobs and never getting a lead because my image was ruined thanks to what my mom did to my credit and my accounts?
I think I'm just bitter for losing the web design commission that I really wanted and needed and felt, with all my heart, that I was totally qualified. I thought I was beyond the feelings of anger and sadness and I just wanted to move on. But, right now, I need to muddle in it for a little while, because I am really truly sad and I feel really and truly trapped and I really and truly feel like there's never ever going to be anybody I can trust, and that there's nobody that I can ever go to for help, and that there's nobody that can help me get out of this whole, and the people that *should* be helping me are not...
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 4:25 pm
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Ok My turn to vent about parental anoyed ness!
My mother, is a truley terrible person. got payed from my last job on the 23rd, befvore this, i had just moved into my own house, with my dad and my two year old son, She had run her power bill up to 300 someodd dollars. I told her, if i could afford it, i would help pay it. Well turns out my last check was only 460 ish dollars, and 400 for rent, and my son REALLY needed new clothes. So i told my mom, that i couldn't help her with her bills. She goes "Im ********" and got into my car, (i was taking her to get her check) Well, she gets her check, and realized that she would have to pay her own bils (shock and awe, right?) i told her i was sorry, but my son needs clothes, what i got was " YOUR SON?!?!?! WHAT ABOUT ME?) i should have kicked her outta the car then, but stupid me...
i again apologized and she yelled "Your not ******** sorrY" and was quiet until we got back to my house, before she got back in the car, i got a call, saying that i was fired, after my first night at work. "training". what a joke.
so anyways, i got out of the car, crying, and my mom sends me evil text messages, "You have till this and this to gett your s**t outta my house then i never wanna see your fat ugly a** again" " i just took you off my life insurance policy (that she never paid anyways) so your son gets it all!" "Your nothing but trash, " and so on and so on, then she told me "You, and your family can ******** off and die" SHE JUST TOLD A @ YEAR OLD TO ******** OFF AND DIE.....what a great person.,
I am so done with her, anytime i hear her name she makes me sick, she has used and abused me long enough. She has trashed my credity taking things out in my name and not paying for them.
I am so tired of this.
stressed
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:35 pm
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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 11:42 am
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I'm currently hosting a contest in the ATG clan...
This isn't exactly angst, more like I'm terrified and a bit angry about having to be in this situation.
I'm behind in my classes this semester. Due to the fact that my mother keeps me home anytime I'm not at school or running her errands for her, I have been taking some of the time I should be in class to look for someway to make some money under the table. It was while doing this that I rear ended someone. Now, my car insurance company is asking for a copy of my transcript, trying to get me a good student discount. Also, my colllege sends out notices in the mail if you have missed a certain number of classes. My mother got one. When I talked to my teacher about it, she was rather understanding about it and even sympathized with me. Even she believes that I need to move out. AND she aslo brought to my attention that the college doesn't deal with the parents, which means that the notice was addressed to me. This means that she is opening my mail, and theres no telling what else she may be doing. Perhaps taking my phone calls and not telling me (I try to route all expected calls through my cell, but some require a home phone)
Long story short(actually, a bit late for that), she told me that if she finds out I have been cutting class that I'm going to be forcefully ejected from the house. I'm nowhere near ready to get out quite so soon. It really pisses me off that I have been stuck in this situation, and that I am having to take time from my studies to do stuff I should be able to do anytime. I don't have much stuff, but getting what I do have out of the house will be a problem, as she was always one to say "I bought it, it's mine" No matter what it is, even my clothes. I seriously doubt I could find a friend willing to let me crash at their place, so I will be stuck living in my car (which, as soon as I leave, I know she will drop the insurance on it and I won't be able to drive it.)
I'm thinking it may be wise to start asking friends anyway, just so it won't be a last second thing if it does happen. ********, I just... don't know what to do.
...The prize is 5k. Why not swing by and check it out?
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Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:34 pm
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Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 6:51 am
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 GTR wants me to start waking up at 6:30 in the morning, however my body doesn't like it, and neither does my brain! I'm groggy, bitchy, can't type worth s**t, and probably the HARDEST person to get along with when I'm forced to wake up early. Not only that, GTR doesn't try to make it nice, just "Hey, it's time to get up" Ya, like I'm going to enjoy waking up like that! Then I can't eat until 9am because I have one of those stomachs that get sick if I eat before 9, so I get to ******** starve for a few hours. Totally going to love that too! Then GTR tried telling me that there are health benefits... guess what? NO THERE AREN'T! We tried finding some, and we couldn't. What we found is others who wake up early and and them stating how it makes them feel. I have been tired for the last 3 ******** years straight, I would LOVE to have even a week, just a ******** week, of NOT feeling tired before the girls go to school. I know when they go, there will be no such thing as sleeping in. So is it really too much to ask to be able to sleep until 9? |
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