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 Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 5:03 am
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Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 5:06 am
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Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 5:53 am
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Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 7:42 am
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Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 8:25 am
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Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 8:57 am
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Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 4:54 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:07 am
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 7:59 am
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 1:02 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 7:13 pm
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To save myself from taking up a huge chunk of the IRC and trying to explain to multiple people what's going on, I'm just going to post here.
What set this off is the fact that my landlord texted me today saying that he's going to have a bank assessor look at all of his apartments, so he'd "strongly suggest" that we have our apartment looking spotless and, if at all possible, free of cats.
Between my three roommates, there are 6 cats here right now. They are trying to find homes for at least 2 of the cats, more if possible. My roommates are NOT as strict about cleaning the catboxes as they should be. Not to mention, with all of us working crazy long hours right now (and despite the fact that I clean up after myself), the apartment is ******** wrote off. A huge mess. Desperately needs to be cleaned.
So. When the landlord texted me five minutes before I was supposed to start a 10-hour shift (I just got home at about 10:50pm tonight), I went into panic mode. He does NOT know when the assessor will be coming.
I am about 90% sure we are going to be evicted. I will be up all night cleaning the house because NONE OF MY ROOMMATES ARE CONCERNED. Steve assured me he would clean today. His idea of clean is a ******** JOKE. The house is still a disaster, especially in key areas that the assessor will be visiting. I don't know if they're deluded or just ******** stupid, but he needs to come into our rooms, he needs to see EVERYTHING.
Their cats have damaged the wall in the bathroom. THEIR cats make a mess of everything, so unless someone is home ALL of the time, how are we supposed to keep the house perfect?? If this were just my apartment, I would be absolutely fine, but I might end up losing my home and having to move YET AGAIN because of THEIR carelessness and THEIR ******** pets.
Add this to the fact that I will probably be losing my job soon, and the fact that I have been struggling just to get through each day because I've been going through a really rough spot emotionally, and the fact that I'm trying to adjust to a medication that is ******** with my head...
I just cannot do this right now. I'm going to be up all night cleaning, and then try to get through work while being a stressed-out, anxious zombie, and then have to come home and do it again, because the roommates and their cats will have undone everything. Rinse, repeat, for god-knows-how-long.
Please shoot me.
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 7:19 pm
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I have way too much s**t to deal with in my life right now. I don't even know where to start! My thoughts will be all over the place so good luck reading this!
I have a $655 phone bill because I was told that EACH collect call would call $1.50, I get the bill call up and find out I was lied to and it's actually more like $1.67 per minute, so I'm stuck paying this bullshit that was THEIR fault. Not only that but I have to wait until I go LATE before I can make any sort of payment plans with them. This also means that GTR can't call as often, if at all when I go late.
I have my kids I have to take care of but I'm ok with that because they're my kids. They are all just going through a stage of getting into new things and making new messes or breaking things. At least Guin has stopped spreading her s**t every where.
Visa is after me for some stupid amount of $300. I told them I'm on OW, welfare, and apparently that means I still have money.
I'm trying my hardest to get letters of job offers, statements of a good human being, and etc for GTR but this falls on other people to do their part and they're not.
I have new pains all throughout my body along with old ones. I have a sore back, sore heels, knees and ankles, and now I seem to be getting pains in my chest, so I get to call the doc and make a super long a** appointment.
Fleas! We have fleas and nothing is being done about them. Happy.
I seem to be the only person in the house paying for groceries! I cannot afford to pay for 4 adults and 5 kids, I'm sorry but I just can't! So there is next to no food in the house and I'm getting worried because it's getting harder and harder to find food for the kids. Because of this I'm breaking down and buying MORE food tomorrow.
Dishes, mother ******** dishes! I have been doing dishes daily because NO ONE ELSE WILL! We go through so many that we have to do at LEAST one load a day, thank god we have a dishwasher, however when everyone has a day off they ******** off and go somewhere else and don't do anything.
Yesterday I spent the whole day ******** cleaning and within about 2 hours when everyone was home the house was a ******** disaster! All my work for what?!
GTR is not home, as I'm sure you know, so that is stressful as it is, but for some reason when I watch shows or movies they all have some sort of love plot in them and I think of how painfully lonely I am. I think about when he's coming home and it seems like forever away.
The dogs, this pisses me off so ******** much! The dogs will piss and s**t everywhere! It doesn't get cleaned up "Oh my kids will clean it"-owners "I don't have to clean it they're not my dogs"- father in law "Well if I don't clean it my kids are going to be crawling through it, stepping in it, whatever"- ME! WHY THE ******** AM I THE ONE WHO HAS TO CLEAN THIS s**t?! ******** really? Why? I've even told my sister in law, who owns the dogs, "you're going to have to do something with the dogs because I can't be cleaning up after them all the time!" But nothing happens! It doesn't matter if the s**t heads go outside or not!
I feel like I'm worthless! I feel like I am nothing more than a maid, I don't feel attractive, I don't feel loved, I don't feel wanted, I don't feel appreciated. The only thing that makes me feel like people even enjoy talking to me is when I'm online. But even some of that has gone away. People were talking to me on MSN, and now they're not. "You should get MSN so we can talk again" THEN ******** TALK TO ME!
Apparently "these are for the kids" means use them as you wish. I bought bowls and spoons and cups for the kids because I don't want my stuff getting broken, and they get used by my father in law and my brother in lawish. Why? Just why?
In short, I feel like the worlds biggest piece of s**t ever right now, and there's nothing I can do to change it. What do I do? Try and get back into my "I don't care" mind set? Do I run away to mommy's? Do I snap at everyone around me an burn all those bridges? I'm at a loss! I'm under a skyscraper of problems and the strongest earthquake couldn't knock it down!
I need something to change, I don't know what, where, when or how. But for the love of god I'm going to snap soon!
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 7:23 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 10:07 pm
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