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 Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:22 am
No. Don't even think that. If you loved your grandma, and your grandma loved you, then that's all that matters.
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:23 am
I was walking the dog and doing a load of laundry, but I'm here. It's hard, I know...
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:23 am
Um not really I was looking into it but haven't decided yet if I want to follow that path why?
EDIT: thanks aretoo *eats cookies*
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:24 am
You're all family, there's no such thing as loving one member more than an other. I mean, you may have more in common with one member more than most, but that doesn't mean that you love them more because of that.
I spend a lot of time with my cousin, because well, he reminds me of myself, but my sister and I are 4 years apart and like total opposite things. We do have our moments where we get along, but those are very rare.
We do tend to talk a lot of s**t to each other too, but that's just our way of showing that we care.
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:24 am
She's Catholic, Tsuj, or grew up one. She's guilty the moment dad came.
Sanzo... I can't say for sure how much she meant that, but she knows you're her grandchild, and her your grandmother. You always love her, and she knows that. I don't know if people can really communicate to the dead or not, but if prayer is your venue, perhaps communicate that way and tell her like that.
If not... just know... that you did love her, and hope that she understands. *hopes he doesn't sound cold or harsh or anything*
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:27 am
I know I loved her as much as I loved my other grandma and will continue to love her. I just... I feel bad that I never had the chance to clear that up with her. I mean... when I heard she died that was the first thing that popped into my head "she died thinking I didn't love her as much" and that felt... well it felt so horrible. I just wish I had something to keep me busy but I don't... I have nothing to do this week.
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:28 am
Quote: Um not really I was looking into it but haven't decided yet if I want to follow that path why? Because her jealousy didn't cause her death, there's nothing you could have done to alleviate it, and, unless your Buddhist, there's no real reason to believe that it has any bearing on her afterlife...
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:30 am
I still feel horrible about it Tsuji... part of me wishes we could've been closer but at the same time its not like she liked kids to begin with, she would've only been able to put up with me when I was older.
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:30 am
I wish I knew something useful to say... *has things, but not useful*
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:31 am
You don't have to say anything Lin, all I really wanted was to be here with you guys. I just needed friends right now
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:32 am
on a completely unrelated topic of note, it's weird seeing my chin and upper lip....
anyway, at least you got to know her, and your sister too. When my grandpa passed away, I was 4 years old, my sister still in my mom's belly, and my cousin another 4 years from being a thought. I was the only one privileged with spending time with our grandpa. And for the longest time I blamed myself for his passing. A few years ago, I was asking my grandma about him, and she told me that he refused to get treatments for his lung cancer (he smoked a lot) so he could take care of me. I know it wasn't my fault now, but after learning that, it depressed the hell out of me for a very long while.
So, be glad that you had that chance, and so did your sister.
I barely remember him, but I go about each day hoping the choices I make will make him proud of the man I'm becoming.
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:33 am
In that case I can be here for you, though I shouldn't say anything. Heh... If it will help you feel better and cope with this.
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:34 am
When my grandma passed away in April, I hadn't seen her in seven years. I'd talked to her like twice in that time, when I was visiting my dad, and he'd call her to say hi. My family isn't really the close type.
Luckily, I called her while she was in the hospital. She was about to go to sleep, though, so I only got to talk to her for about five minutes.
So...I dunno. I guess I kinda know how you feel. I wish I could have been a lot closer to her, and I feel guilty about it. But I plan to make up for it with the rest of my family, and that helps a little.
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:35 am
Thanks Arc, I am glad I knew her. I am glad for the time we spent together. And I hope that whatever does come after death its peaceful... and that she's happy.
*huggles Lin* as long as I'm chit-chatting with you guys I'll be ok, you all do have a way to make me giggle even when I'm feeling low
EDIT: @Pickle, yeah... we didn't get to see our grandma much either. I mean we're a close family on my Dad's side not so much on my Mom's so it was hard to see her, especially since she didn't like coming up to the US and we couldn't go down to Mexico
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:36 am
Heh... I feel useful... Thanks. I hope you stay as okay as you can, Sanzo.
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