Welcome to Gaia! ::

My brain combined this with Tsuji's "distracted by porn"... Owwww... stressed
Good evening! ^_^

Haha, I'm lurking because I'm busy writing a "short" rant about why I'm incompetant ******** and how I'm too stupid to notice even the simplest things in my life that prevent me from excelling in anything. If you want, I can give you the part about drugs. I just finished it. It's basically looking back on my life during my drug phase and what I did back then.

I figure I should start with the drugs, seeing as it's one of the main factors that made me what I am now. At around age 11, I started stealing alcohol from my parents. It wasn't a rush or anything like that, but it was a nice numbing that kept me from caring about the fact that I was losing contact with many friends, and the almost constant state inebriation that kept me from making new friends. I still drink whenever I get the chance, and it still helps numb the pain of losing friends, and keeps me from making new ones. From just before I turned 13, to the day I turned 19, I had allowed myself to become addicted to Ecstasy, Alcohol, and many other substances. I remember when I started. It was cocaine, that was my first drug. After doing that and getting the rush, the numb, the excitement. It wasn't an addiction, but it was my first true rush, and I couldn't get enough. My use of cocaine lasted for just over 6 years, the last time I used it was my 19th birthday, but I wonder still if it was worth quitting. A week after starting using that, I came face to face with the beast that sent me down a path to self destruction and quiet possibly the main thing responsible for making what I am. Ecstasy. When I first used it, I had felt nothing like it. It was pure euphoria. Nothing bad could happen when I was on it. I was put into a state of pure ecstasy while on it, and everything was perfect in the world. I was addicted after the fist pill I took. It took two years to mature up and admit that I was addicted, and another 3 before I actually realized that I needed to do something about it. Even after my body began puking blood after every roll, and when I got to the point where I began coughing up blood and going into what could easily be mistaken as seizures when I didn't have it, I refused to admit my addiction, and just chalked it up to my failing health that I had been cursed with since birth. I only realize now what could have been accomplished in my life if it wasn't for that damn drug... Those beautiful little pills, in their colorful little splendor, and their seemingly magic effects to make me not worry about anything. A while after using ecstasy alone, I began feeling the need to spice it up. Taking multiple pills at once, or crushing it up and snorting lines of ecstasy mixed with cocaine for even more of a rush. The experience of that addiction showed me who my true friends were though, so I owe it to that drug to at least say that. They were the friends that would, even though they hated seeing me on drugs, stay with me the whole time I was on them, and a few times rushed me to the hospital when I did more than I could take, and stood by me whenever I needed help and support. Anyway, back to the subject. After a while of ecstasy, it started to become not enough. I became doing more drugs. Heroine, Opium, Meth, basically anything I could get my hands on. Then, about 2 years after all that, I learned a new method to deal with cocaine. With the help of water, a spoon, and a lighter that I could make a fun new drug to me called Crack Cocaine. I began using that, still using my magical pills to keep me amused all the time. A while after crack, I decided I needed to spice up that a bit too. I started popping pills of ecstasy before cooking up some crack, then taking hits of it before the ecstasy kicked in, then between hits of crack, I'd do lines of cocaine, sometime mixed with a crushed up pill or two. Mixing drugs was a hobby of mine. See what effects were caused from mixing what. Seeing how many drugs, and how much of each it would take me to force my body into a drug induced coma, or trying to kill myself with them. I stopped caring about life, about friends, about family, about everything except for getting the next fix. I started going to raves to try to make just taking ecstasy more fun, and it worked for a long time. When my 19th birthday rolled around, I decided to make it just a small ordeal with a few friends and tons of cocaine, because I couldn't get a hold of any ecstasy. I ended up making contact with the right people, because I was given over 400 dollars worth of free cocaine, a 30 pack of beer, and about 2 fifths Hennessy... After that night, I decided to go clean for at least 1 full year before letting myself use anything other than alcohol.

@Iecur come puedo tener tacos pero no limon? claro que tengo! *gives some over*

xd its times like these I'm reminded I suck at writing in spanish... I fail so hard sometimes