The Guild's Incorrect Quotes

[MJ Spooks]

One night at the Edgeworth family manor...

Gid: //holding a flashlight under his chin// They say that, many years ago, an evil witch cursed this house...

*40 years ago*

Dahlia: ******** this house

characters involved: Gideon Edgeworth, Callidora Dahlia Wynters Edgeworth Tempest Nott
source: tumblr  

[MJ Spooks]

Desi: Okay, do you know what time it is?

Desi: Because my hoodie does.

Desi: *turns around, reveals "Time for Desi's Opinion" on the back of her hoodie*

source: brooklyn 99
characters involved: Desiree Whitethorne  

[MJ Spooks]

Ivar: You remind me of the ocean

Rory: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

Ivar: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

source: tumblr
characters involved: Ivar Erikson, Ruaridh Murdoch  

[The Forgotten Weasley]

Donner: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Elvira: You're a hazard to society.

Dagrun: And a coward. Do twenty.

source : tumblr
characters involved : donner & dagrun eide, elvira hughes  

[The Forgotten Weasley]

Lee: Can I say a bad word?

Jesse: Uh...

Lee: CAN I SAY A BAD WORD?

Jesse: I guess?

Lee, to Jarrett: YOU ******** b***h-

source : tumblr
characters involved : leiland holt, jesse calvert, jarrett zywiec  

[Cinnabun Gryffie]

Nani: If you were to die, what would your last words be?

Desi: Finally?

Nani: ....no

source : tumblr
characters involved : Nani Heulwen, Desiree Whitethorne  

[The Forgotten Weasley]

Rick, Glynn, Lea, Jojo, Garnet, Mirzam, Vio, Vander, Edric: Some of you have never been abducted by a relative before, and it really shows.

source : twitter
characters involved : all of the above  

[CatWaffle]

Iggy: Look, Kam, I burnt two hundred calories.

Kam: That's your heart rate.

Iggy: Yeah, that checks out.


source : Brooklyn 99
characters involved : Kameron & Ignatius Hepburn  

[CatWaffle]

(When Ferdie first started dating)

Emeric: Have you ever thought about going with your non-work interests? On my first date with your mom, all we did was talk about our mutual love of Meat Loaf. The singer, not the food.

Ferdie: Oh, so the weirder of the two choices.


source : Brooklyn 99
characters involved : Emeric & Ferdinand Delacroix  

[The Forgotten Weasley]

Vespera: I've never been in a snowball fight.

Jonah: Really?

Vespera: I don't know the rules. Is there a point system or is it... to the death?

source : tumblr
characters involved : vespera salazar, jonah lane  

[The Forgotten Weasley]

Will: Goddamnit! I don't know how to express myself except through anger and personal attacks!

source : it's always sunny
characters involved : william bennett  

[The Forgotten Weasley]

Lee: Sorry. You must be at least level three friend to unlock my tragic backstory.

source : tumblr
characters involved : leiland holt  

[The Forgotten Weasley]

Ariel: Could you please not Miranda this into a worse situation than it already is?

Miranda: ...Did you just use my name as a verb?

source : tumblr
characters involved : ariel & miranda nolan  

[The Forgotten Weasley]

Akira: Am I weird?

Callista: Yeah, but you're hot, so it's easier to put up with.

source : akira yamazaki & callista hargrave
characters involved : tumblr  

[The Forgotten Weasley]

Gid: Sigh.

Lucia: Okay, stop. You're not even sighing, you're just saying the word 'sigh'.

source : tumblr
characters involved : gideon & lucia edgeworth