Kitty's Bugs and InK for ArTsIe Quest! O.o

[Karunoshi]

I'm used to the nice, kind, donating Lenelee. You don't seem like the person to stand up... but I guess if they need it they need it twisted

Ahh...I should learn how to stand up to people... I've been getting better at it a little more since hanging out with my friend on Gaia (girls always pick on her since she has a pretty avi and guys always go to her 0_o and also guys move around and sort of rape her avi)

Maybe he just didn't want to deal with it.... I mean, if you don't bring it up or face it, it won't get any worse though it also won't get any better. But it might be better than it getting worse =/  

[Lenelee]

I know for a fact he just didn't want to deal with it. That however, was the wrong approach. She actually started off that week great and it progressively got worse and worse. I wish he would have stood up to her a little bit. It would mean nothing to her coming from me. It was one of those situations where it really had to be him, you know? I made it perfectly clear that that was the case and should it happen again, he needs to stand up and say something.

I actually am normally quite calm but I can have a very hot and nasty temper when provoked. I'm extremely stubborn and have little to no problem standing up and sticking it to someone who I feel deserves it. I have no problem admitting that I can be very confrontational. It really is only when I'm provoked though. twisted  

[Karunoshi]

Everything has it's little bumps... your hubby needs to stick up for you since in the vows it IS for better or for worse, and I truly with all my heart believe in that more than anything.

Our problem with my fiancee and I would be that we have contact/communication problems. It's been about a week now and I JUST found out that he couldn't come because his bike had a flat. Though he didn't even say it directly to me. It was on his status thing on myspace! (which is exactly like the status thing on Gaia)

I KNOW he has communication problems... both times he broke up with me before he didn't even say it DIRECTLY to me. The first time he wrote a blog on it (why I have NO clue) and the next he just changed his relationship status to single and didn't say ANYTHING.

Anywho~
the same thing is with me except that I'm almost always calm (other times I'm hyper XD) and I'm a pushover that likes to please everyone while not hurting anyone. I WILL NOT stand up to someone because I'm afraid of what they'll think of me (bad I know). sweatdrop  

[Lenelee]

I like to make people happy, but not at the expense of feeling like a doormat. It's all about respect. It's all give and take. blaugh  

[Karunoshi]

Lol, I'm still trying to find myself ^^

I'm sure I'll be like that with a little practice and some more time XD

I'm already getting better at cheering myself up and not looking on the negative side. I've also obtained some pretty good self-confidence thanks to... William ^^ And my friends though mostly him XD  

[Lenelee]

Take your time girlie. I think finding oneself if truly a life long journey. We are always changing through each experience we meet. 4laugh  

[Karunoshi]

That is so true, it's also a belief in Buddhism too ^^

People think that....reincarnation (forgot the word for a second) is when you die and you come back to life.

But I learned the way that reincarnation means you're always changing no matter what, become a new person each minute and each second.

The you from a year ago isn't going to come back and neither will the you from three seconds ago.

Which then leads to time keeps on going so go about life the way you want to because then if you don't you're not living life the way you want to.  

[Lenelee]

Yesh, all too true. I believe in both reincarnations. The type you mentioned and the kind, that when you die you can get another chance to live again and learn new life lessons. 4laugh  

[Karunoshi]

Ahh but I wonder if we really learn anew or start all over again.

~Ventlation~

I'm absolutely heartbroken beyond belief. I'm about to sob my eyes out but I want to hold it in. William broke up with me on Wednesday and out of nowhere comes this girl. He goes to the mall with her on Saturday and he goes out with her.

Now let me tell you that HE SAID he broke up with me because he couldn't concentrate during school. AND when I asked him if he had plans on the weekends he said no, when obviously on myspace he said right there on his status that he's going to the mall with the girl.

Well turns out he's going out with her.

I have several problems with this.
1) He engaged me.
2) He said he loved me.
3) I've ALWAYS been there for him.
4) So soon after he broke up with me?
5) I feel like his ******** rebound.
6) How the hell am I his rebound when he engaged me!?

I just don't understand, he turned into his father... I just want to ball up and die. My whole future that I had planned out was destroyed not only once, but three times.

How? Why?

He saved me from my destruction before (suicide) can he not see that he's hurting me ten-fold more than the other guy ever could?

Consolation, advice, support? Please? I just want to destroy myself.  

[Lenelee]

Aww...

*embraces and holds you*

I'm really sorry to hear that, Emily. That is truly shitty of him. Sweetie, I know how crazy you are for him, but it seems he's no good for you at all. Three times now he's just up and randomly left you and broke your heart. You really deserve someone so much better then that. I know he's sorta your human cocaine and it's really hard to just drop him and forget him. Honestly though, I don't think he knows what he wants. It's awful strange and inconsistent to be so on and off again with you and then engaged only to be off so quickly just like that. If he's consistently doing this to you, then for your own sake, don't take him back for a fourth time. Please. It's your decision, but I'm asking you to trust me as your friend. No one should be worth your life. No one, no matter how much they mean to you, deserves that power. It's completely ok to cry and cry and cry till you can't any more. Just get it all out ok? Scream real loud, be angry. It's ok. It would be really harmful and unhealthy for you to keep it all bottled up inside. I know it will take time, but now is where it would be best to give him the big f-you and just stay away from him. Somewhere out there is a great guy waiting to find a sweet gal like you that will treat you the way you deserve and would be man enough, if the time ever came, to tell you to your face it's over and why.  

[Karunoshi]

*embraces*

Aha, I guess he is my human cocaine. It feels so good but the consequences in the end are earth shaking.

And I'm most definitely going to get it out, it comes out more heavily when I'm with my neighborhood friends however. You know, the love and support of friends, and my parents don't know of such a relationship so it would be an oddity to cry for no reason.

I'm going to cry my eyes out on Monday morning and most likely throughout school to my good friends.
Then on Tuesday I'm going with my best friends to their house like I did when he first broke up with me and we're going to throw lemons at the tree once more. A great relief of stress I must say.

I'm going to stay away from him loving wise, though you know if he ever needs my help I'm there in a heartbeat.

I hope to find that guy one day.... I just truly in my heart thought I had already found him.

I think, no I KNOW that I'm going to give him back the ring. Tell him that I don't understand how he could engage me and yet treat me like his rebound. And I'll lastly tell him that he can give me back the ring when he truly means for it to be so.

What do you think of my idea of him proving that he's ready for engagement?  

[Lenelee]

I'm glad you have a lot of support. That's wonderful. As for telling him he can give it back when he means it...just be careful with that. I don't want to hear of him hurting you again. You're young, so there's no rush. You can take your time and just enjoy life and be carefree. No need to hurry into those next steps in life if you don't have to. I'm hoping that by then though, you'll be with a much better guy who really cares about you. I just don't see him taking your affections seriously. It almost seems like he thinks he could just have you and drop you and pick back up anytime he feels like having a girlfriend with little to no hesitation or thought to what it's doing to you in the meantime. sweatdrop  

[Karunoshi]

That is what my best friends have said as well. And I'm starting to see that myself, that's why I'm going to give him the time to mature and really think about the future and what he's done in the past. He hates both, but he needs to deal with it.

And as for when he gives it back, I don't expect it for a long time. I think I'll be blissfully happy going about high school life and when it comes to college and such I can see trying to see myself trying to see how he's doing.

That gives me a full four years of finding myself.

Speaking of finding guys... how did you find your hubby?  

[Lenelee]

I'm really glad to hear that. Coming from this many of us then, I'd say you're receiving some sound advice. I think that perhaps he made that commitment to you for whatever reason and then realized that he's not ready for that yet. He's probably not ready to be tied down. Lots of guys his age aren't. Most aren't a one woman type guy yet. They just want to casually date and have fun. You seem more mature and serious in that department. Perhaps he felt he wanted you back and that was the way to do it. It's really hard to say. I try and give the benefit of the doubt. Just remember:

Fool me once, shame on you (ie: him)
Fool me twice, shame on me (ie:you)

That sounds like a great plan. That gives you both some much needed space. That would give him lots of time to, as you said, mature and find himself while you find yourself. Good for you! 3nodding

Actually, I guess you could say he found me? We met the first week of high school through mutual friends. He thought I was cute and decided to pursue me. I just didn't feel that way though and dated around a bit. All the time from freshman-junior year, he'd come up to me.

Him: "Hey Kelly, you got a boyfriend?"
Me: "No"
Him: "You want one?"
Me: "No"
Him: "Oh....ok. What color underwear are you wearing?"
Me: eek

I kid you not! Sooo...funny and hopeless really. It was on a weekly basis and sometimes daily all freshman year and in soph/junior he started doing it each time he knew I was single since we were actually really good friends. I just never saw him that way. Not until junior year and I'll never forget noticing him that way for the first time and realizing I wanted more then to be friends. Lucky for me, he'd never in all those 3 years given up and we started dating. I guess it was finally our time. LOL The rest is history. I count myself lucky.  

[Ethrawl]

@ Lenelee: rofl That sounds like an unorthodox love story, kinda. I did find it funny though. But it's good how it ended up. ^^

@ Karu: I feel for you, I know what it's like to be heartbroken. My one ex, who I dated for 2 years and I was in love with, up and broke up with me out of the blue. But I later realized that it wasn't out of the blue, her damn parents made her break up with me. It was about 2 or 3 years ago that this happened too. Her dad was a soldier in the army, he was in Iraq when we started dating, and he got back while we were still dating. I didn't like him from the moment I set eyes on him. I knew something was going to happen deep down inside me, I just didn't realize it until it was too late. I think we were either talking on the phone one day, or she called me and she broke up with me. I, of course, was heartbroken. I don't remember it very well, but we did break up a few times before, over stupid stuff, but we did get back together either not long after we broke up, later that day, or the next day. But this time.. it was permanent. I remember it took me over a year to finally get over her. And now, she has a fiance and she is either 8 or 9 weeks pregnant. I still talk to her every once in a while. Her mom works at the jewelry department at our local Wal-Mart. I say "Hi" every now and again when I see her.

Elves for the WIN!!! scream