Is Sex Necessary for a Healthy Relationship?

[Zombie1429]

The best sex I ever had was during a one night stand, not a relationship.

Josef is right to say that sex without love is just physical, but that doesn't make it 'empty'; nor is it the strongest way to express love for someone - that just concentrates on the act itself and ignores everything else in a relationship and just what sex means to those two or more people that relationship is made up of.

As for love being a sacrifice, that point actually exaggerates the importance of sex to make it the totality of the relationship. Essentially you're implying you'll do "anything and everything" for a girl if it means you get to have sex with her. I realise this is'nt what you mean, but the fact remains that you've made sex out to be something more important than it really is.

Lust has the potential to last forever, just not necessarily with the same person. Much the same thing can be said for love too; its great if you can commit to one person and love them forever, but be realisitic, that doesn't always happen.  

[Indigo Project]

One thing that I would like to say is that I have found that in some cases, withholding sex in a relationship can lead down a harmful path. I've seen it happen where in a relationship (already on the rocks) in which the female involved was practically non-sexual and the male was very sexual, she gave permission for him to have a sexual partner outside of the relationship. Needless to say, all three parties have had a more difficult time because of this.

Sex within an already committed relationship can be a necessity for the health of said relationship.  

[horsley121]

To be honest i don't think that sex has to make a good relationship work. I think in fact in some ways it can break up some relationships just for the fact that some people want it and the others don't and that can lead up to arguing or even break ups!! But i think when your ready to have sex with your partner then its fine as your both willing to have sex instead of one or the other pressurising them to have sex!!!!!!!

 

[Milk and Holy Water]

horsley121

To be honest i don't think that sex has to make a good relationship work. I think in fact in some ways it can break up some relationships just for the fact that some people want it and the others don't and that can lead up to arguing or even break ups!! But i think when your ready to have sex with your partner then its fine as your both willing to have sex instead of one or the other pressurising them to have sex!!!!!!!

The lack of sex in a relationship can be just as damaging in all of these ways. Sexual incapatibility is a very crippling blow, especially instances such as Indigo mentioned. Human relationships can be very difficult.  

[ganchroi]

I respect people who wait until marriage for sex - I didn't and sometimes regret it. I know that I've been in relationships were I put out too early and it ended in shambles because of it. What's worse now is that men now think I'm "easy" - not great at all stare
I think that sex can be a very important part of a relationship, but it's not essential as I've learned - cuddling and kissing are more than enough intimacy for someone you're only dating, sex is for when things get serious and there's real prospects in the relationship. And I know that some people crave sex, but all I say to them is control it with distracting alternative hobbies, or even through masturbation - I just feel that sex too early now ruins relationships. Ok, waiting until marriage is a bit much for me, but as I said I respect those people - they have real staying power rofl  

[Odd Boy Out]

takara kagami

In today's society premarital sex is rather common. Though many still believe it immoral. I personally have chosen abstain, however I have never been in a serious relationship where the consideration of making that step has been evident. So I decided to discuss it with a few friends one day, and two of them told me that, unless I was willing to 'go all the way' then no man would ever consider dating me, as sexual intercourse is now important, and almost mandatory to sustain a healthy relationship. This confused me. I grew up in a general Christian way, so I have always thought premarital sex as immoral, however it is also apparent that so many accept premarital sex, and have performed it. It is even supported in the media. Thus a conflict has arisen in my mind. In all truth, is sex necessary to sustain a relationship, or is it best to wait until after marriage?

I'm going to guess that by sustaining a relationship you do mean a few years until marriage. Because the way you word it makes it sound like you could be in a relationship for 50+ years before marriage.

Sex is completely unnecessary for sustaining a relationship. Some people just do not like sex. However for those who do (which is the very large majority), it can be very difficult to stay in a sexless relationship.

If you plan on not getting married until you are 30, you should definitely stick to dating people in your religion. They usually have singles gathering. This way you can find someone like minded who will also abstain. But whichever religion you belong to is probably holding onto the ideas of the immorality of premarital sex that originated thousands of years ago. If you were to follow that tradition, you should already be married if you are a 14 year old girl or 18 year old boy. You would also not be in love, it would be arranged for you. However, today people do marry for love.

If you find someone you love, and they love you too, have sex with them before marriage. Hell, have sex with someone before you even love them, it's a good way to form a closer bond with someone and will let those fledgling emotions grow. Modern marriage is a ridiculous social obligation and government institution based on the religious ******** with of a social construction that started in Rome & Greece.

Humans can have many different kinds of relationships. Some of us mate for life. Some of use are serially monogamous. And some of us don't develop long-lasting ties at all.  

[Yeonie]

It all depends on the culture and the religion of which you grew up in, and are influenced by, I think.
I grew up in a family and a culture where pre-marital sex was considered taboo, and "awful"...
But once moving to the Westernized world,
people certainly saw these things differently, and had a more of an 'open-mind' to that idea.

But I see and know a lot of couples who are perfectly content (by appearances only, perhaps, who knows for sure ?) with a sexless relationship, because they truly love each other.

I for one, am one of those who believe sex really does HELP a relationship... So I am for it. A 'healthy' relationship is about fulfilling one's emotional needs, but also physical ones as well; and sex is a part of that.
Some people can go without, but I'm a physically needy person...
And so is my boyfriend;
so we've already engaged in intercourse.
And it didn't "help" our relationship become healthy...
It only improved what was already good;
like a "bonus". smile

And I think that's what it should be, for everyone.
Sex shouldn't be the one factor that "up's" a relationship...
It should only be an "optional" goodie to go along with it. (: