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Secret Kirari

Magical Dabbler

PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 6:21 pm


This question begs to be asked:

How long has Nicholas appeared seventeen? More specifically, what is his rate of aging compared to a normal human's? Is it a constant-but-slower rate, or is there some sort of neat little parabolic-ish figure going on?
PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 6:23 pm


Makes me wonder how long his mom was changing diapers for. The poor lady. =[

Lyvidian


Spellbound Blasphemy

PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 6:42 pm


User Image
It's the story of my life.

Gosh, I didn't think of that. I honestly don't know. The story takes place in a relatively short period of time so far.
Have to work that into the re-write... That's a really good point.


I know who would want to take me home...
--Semisonic,
Closing Time
PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 6:47 pm


Haha! Yeah, most people don't think about that. I know I always think of reasons or that sort of thing much later on, but it's pretty important.

It could be that he was a baby for a long time. I pity his parents if this is the case.

It could also be that he grew either really quickly, or just as normal, for a while, and then his aging just... slowed down immensely. Or stopped altogether, though I hope that isn't the case, because that'd mean that his parents look (most likely) to be the same age he does.... and how awkward would it be to introduce some seemingly seventeen-year-olds as your parents when you don't look any younger?

Secret Kirari

Magical Dabbler



i am sad mami


Premium Fairy

PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 6:49 pm


I know what I'm about to say won't help one bit, but the way you describe him seems like I'm reading about another character I read in some other book. Can't remember the name though... gonk
PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:00 pm


User Image
It's the story of my life.

OOH! What story?!
And, yeah... I need to figure out some science behind this. Or something...


I know who would want to take me home...
--Semisonic,
Closing Time

Spellbound Blasphemy


Andirigible

PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 11:38 pm


I don't know if this would make him less of a Gary-Stu, but what if you actually made him a young adult (seventeen to twenty-five-ish) who looks like he's seventeen?

And if he doesn't age, he wouldn't grow hair (aging = change, growing hair = change, growing hair = aging). Unless he ages really r e a l l y slowly. But then his hair would grow slowly too... so he wouldn't really I need to shave, but once every year or so. And he could still hate shaving.

Just a thought (two, actually). And I do agree with Articx on the eyes & personality bits.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 3:07 am


Spellbound Blasphemy


Okay, so I seriously love this character, but I've been told he's a total Mary-Sue. Somebody help me make him imperfect!
Name: Nicholas Thornton Baker
Age: In human years, fifty four. He looks to be about seventeen, though, 'cos he's a vampire.
Build: Tall, rather muscular, but built like a beanpole.
Looks and Manner Of Dress: He's got black hair that's insanely curly and black eyes. Although he lives at high elevation (The Colorado Rockies), he stays inside most of the time, and is very pale because of it. He's got dark circles under his eyes and wears silver-framed glasses. He HATES shaving (would rather have teeth pulled...), and this means he's usually stubbly.
How to describe how Nicholas dresses...? He's well-dressed, I suppose. On a normal day, he'd wear dark wash jeans, dress shoes, a Beatles T-shirt (or something similar) underneath a long-sleeve black dress shirt, left un-buttoned. Oh, and his black fedora. He's inordinately attached to that damn thing.
Personality: Rather arrogant, but in a quiet and brooding sort of way. He is under some delusion that he doesn't have to take notes and still pass Spanish class, for example. He doesn't like to talk to people; he'd much rather be reading or listening to music or something. His inner thoughts can be really condescending and patronizing.
Once he actually gets to know a person, he's quite friendly. He can come off as cold, but has a soft heart, really.
He has impeccable manners, because that's how he was raised. He's also good at faking happiness... An interesting talent.
Interesting Tidbits You Might Want To Obliterate: He was born in New York City, but speaks with no accent (I think that's interesting.).
He's a talented singer (his mother performed on Broadway, and that's how his parents met.).
He's got the following freaky supernatural powers: Vampirism (100% vampire bloodline), manipulation of metal, manipulation of water and ice, mind control of other vampires.
He's afraid of drowning and of the people he loves getting hurt.

I think that's all... please, help me to make poor Nicholas less of a Mary-Sue. biggrin



Yo, Giyari here. I'm not on my computer, can't be bothered turning it on just now xD
Right lets get going then

Age, maybe think about bumping that up quite a bit. The average age that a human male reaches the height of his physical perfection and health is around 30, the prime time in human males. Okay, so he isn't human, but it makes sense that he would age to the prime age then the immortality kicks in. Either that or you make him actually like 200 and that would bump up his apparent age too.

His appearance is not much of problem, there are LOADS of different people in the world, he could dress in pink pokadot with a yellow bowler hat and it wouldn't make all that much of a difference. But you've described him well, he comes across as a pretty normal looking guy, Tall with dark features and a pale complexion. As for build, wirey is a better way to describe it.

To me the personality works fine. Some people say that angsty characters are immediately mary-sue's, but that's not qwhat makes a character a mary-sue. If you can roleplay an angsty character well, have him more than just a walking pile pf loathing and self hatred then it's all good. The 'faking happiness' part isn't needed though, it also contradicts the rest of his personality. If he's quite withdrawn over all, then he probably wouldn't need to fake happiness, example. Someone he has let get close hurts him, being withdrawn he would more likely just cut his ties with them and ignore them blatantly. if someone he hasn't let get close, it wouldn't bother him anyway.

Talents, No accent is fine, he could have moved around quite a lot in his younger days.
Talented singer is fine too, that's perfectly normal, it's possible for anyone to be a singer.
Powers? Wayyyy too many, firstly the 100% bloodline, how did it come around? His mother was a singer yes? Would it be plausible for a fullblood vampire to be in the public spotlight? In fact, would it even be plausible for a fullblood vampire to even have a job? From my point of view fullblood vampires are the equivalent to nobles and royalty no, so would she not have more of a 'leading' role in the vampire community? Secondly, all the elemental manipulation. I would just chuck them all tbh, they're too overused in my opinion, and if he'sa full blood vampire then there a high possibility that he wouldn't need them to be devastatingly powerful anyway. The mind control thing seems a little useless too. there really isn't much need for it, if he's a fullblood then his stature and political power should be enough to keep lower vampires in control. It would also eliminate the question as to what vampires he could control, all, just partbloods, partbloods and weaker fullbloods? What is a weaker fullblood? What I'm getting at is you just don't know who's a full blood, partblood until you try it, and if you can't control them then you're probably too late and they've ripped your throat out...

Articx-Frost

Unbeatable Raider


Lyvidian

PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 5:54 am


Articx-Frost
Age, maybe think about bumping that up quite a bit. The average age that a human male reaches the height of his physical perfection and health is around 30, the prime time in human males. Okay, so he isn't human, but it makes sense that he would age to the prime age then the immortality kicks in. Either that or you make him actually like 200 and that would bump up his apparent age too.


This wouldn't work because she said her vampires age physically and mentally slower than a normal person. If he were 200 that means he would've physically been a baby for a while.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 5:59 am


Mentally slower? So he's stuck for a long time as a stroppy teeneger? XD

Giyari
Crew

Shirtless Ladykiller


Lyvidian

PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:03 am


Giyari
Mentally slower? So he's stuck for a long time as a stroppy teeneger? XD


Yes, lol. It's been suggested that she change their growth rate to a normal one then have it slow down when he's a teen. Makes more sense, and from what I've seen, it's how most pureblood vampires age.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 9:30 pm


User Image
It's the story of my life.


Yays! Lots of help for poor Nicholas.
Ah, I'm figuring out his kinks! Here's his character profile so far (it's unfinished)
Full name: Quinn Devyn Macallaster (Yup. Name change here.)
Birthday: September 24th, 1910 (Since this story takes place here in 2010, that makes him 100. He ages at 1/4 the speed of a normal human. I figured that much out.)
Appears to be: 25 years old, maybe a bit older. It depends on how much sleep he got last night.
Hometown: New York City, New York
Physical Appearance: 6 feet 3.5 inches tall
Extremely thin
Curly, messy black hair
Light brown hair with dark circles
Pale
"piano fingers" (unimportant to you, perhaps, but I am OCD about details)
Personality Traits: Socially awkward
Humble, especially about his lineage
Quiet
Observant (people watcher)
Good sense of humor
Warped perceptions of self
Guarded
Well-mannered
Intelligent
Fidgety
Afraid of deep bodies of water i.e. swimming pools (the deep end, really) and the ocean.
Lineage And Origins: 100% pureblood vampire
Family origins in Germany, Israel and Ireland (again, OCD about details)


...and, that's all I got. Haven't figured anything else about Quinn yet. HALP!


I know who would want to take me home...
--Semisonic,
Closing Time

Spellbound Blasphemy

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Character Concepts

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