Chesiregirl's Official Mary Sue Thread!

[W00tification]

~*Name*~


Siger Bell

~*Age*~

141

~*Appearance (post a picture or describe their hair, eyes, skin, clothing, birthmarks, etc)*~

He is a tall man almost reaching six feet, dark hair and with gray eyes. He is Caucasian through and through but his skin is very pale considering he spends most of his time on the inside of his flat. Siger's clothing has been on the edge of almost trendy European. Smart, simple and mostly of dark colors. For a man looking like his early 20's he might be a catch if he didnt smell of tobacco most of the time and with a permanent scowl on his face.

~*Race/Species (depending on what fandom, roleplay or original story this is for)*~


He is human but has the benefit of being damned as well. (explination of being damned will be explained)

~*Hobbies and Talents (please also indicate skill level for each hobby)*~

Siger has the habit of unnerving people by being too observant. This fits well within his roll and his somewhat job description. But he does have hobbies of experimenting with chemistry and having a type of morbid fascination of knowing what post mortum injuries have on the body. So digging up cadavers was a great past time in his early life.

~*Likes*~


Science
Forensic
Smoking
Traveling
Knowing

~*Dislikes*~


Guessing
Investigation of his own past by someone else
Certain authors
Supernatural occultism


~*Background Story*~

Siger was born under a different name and different circumstance that he would not like go into at the moment. However, it is not to say that he doesnt know and wouldnt want to know. He does, he was born in an insane asylum. The father could be a prominate doctor that impregnated a young woman while she was commited inside of bedlam. The young woman goes faded in history, but from what he does know that she was into the occult a lot at the time. But he was born, and researchers wanted to have the information and experiment that if one was born out of an insane person would they too express the same symptoms? So he grew up till the age of ten surrounded by screaming men and women out of their minds. One doctor who treated his mother, had taken hold of the boy soon after the mother died, (suicide, bled to death sinces he had slowly chipped a spoon into a sharp point)

Siger was given a new name, a new life. But as the father had suspected a tad bid, unstable. He knew how to talk, its just he perfered not to, and stared at people with his gray eyes. His "brother" Micheal had also noticed that his younger sibbling wasn't right either, tormenting animals for experiments was his pleasure but he did not tell his father about that till many years later.

Siger grew up though, normally under the care of his adoptive brother and father. And well enough to go into medical school. THe father at the time was a well renowned professor who taught the early functions of reading foot prints and determining ones fingerprints, the early case of forensics. Siger was a determined medical student as well. He shared his fathers love of finding it out, and honed his skill to surpassing him. In the meanwhile he opted his medical knowledge by digging up graves and abusing the bodies for scientific purposes even going into the occult practices to see if there was a devil and a god. This ended up having himself damned. It was later found out that he tried to kill another student quickly to see the effects of death on the spot. His father could not hide him, but lessened it to an assault charge and kicked him out of the university.

Kicked out of university, jobless, he was in search of a flat and to make use of his other skills when he was introduced, by a young doctor and writer by his father. Both shared a friendship but the young author soon discovered his roommate's abilities and decided to make bank on the prospect. Thus began a long career of fame for both of them. However, Sigers fame would be under a different name while his writer friend enjoyed the benifits. During the end of the prospect period Siger had began to attract the attention and suspicions of all around him. In the twenty some odd years that they were friends, the writer had noticed, that his friend did not age. In fact he began to notice out of all the dangerous attempts of Sigers life, he would live. Siger told his secret, he had struck a faustian deal with the devil before he met him. In result of eternal life and youth, and whatever he wanted. In the end result the devil gets beck and call on Siger since he was now his "dog." This was proved by him shooting himself in the head and twenty minutes later waking up with a sore head.

Well people age and people die, Siger told his father at the end of his life. And when his writer friend died, the writer made sure that whatever book sells half would go to his family and the other to Siger. Since he made his fortune possible. And now Siger travels alone, slightly jaded on life after the death of his friend and father. He has all the money in the world he needs, and people still know about him. Despite being under a different name. Its just a damned problem just to hear about it from time to time to mention that he is "just like this character."

But he is old and he is bitter, not much has changed about him. Its just sometimes he does wish to die. Despite knowing everything.

~*Personality*~


He is very cold and calculating. Very bitter, when first meeting him and does not think anyone is worth his time. Jaded and sadistic for most on life, who wouldnt be? He doesn't have a vampires sense of forgetfulness and placid ability to accept life. He is a human being and an old one at that.

~*Tell what roleplay or fandom this is for. If it is an original story, please explain story.*~

Its for any supernatural rpg. He is very select character really but in general he is an original character.

~*Any supernatural powers (whether they are commonplace to the story/rp/fandom or not)*~


He is damned. Not only does he get what he wants (but ssometimes its a good thing when running out of tea) but he has the ability to turn into a massive hellhound. This was part of the struck deal. But he does have time to serve down in hell as being a guard in hell.

~*Free Space! Add sexual orientation, birthday, relationship status, etc! Just don't leave it blank ;D*~

Being damned is not a great experience. In the world of vampires and supernaturals. Vampires get it off easily, they do have the genetic gene to actually become more placid and adaptable as time goes on. For Siger damned is like getting old, still having function, but still getting older. He doesn't have the ability to forget things and move on like vamps do. It stays with him and therefore is bitter.

Sexual orientation: He is straight but hasn't yet found that woman after several hundred years, he's been close but not to much.  

[chesiregirl]

Andi Aquarius

Alright, let's see what you make of this girl. She's not the main character, but she is a major character, so... yeah.

~*Name*~
She actually doesn't have a name, but when she meets the MC, and he asks her name, she tells him it's Kâilar (pronounced KY-lər). Later on in the story, she confesses that she lied about her name, tells him her life story, but he still calls her Kâilar. (Because how the heck do you call someone with no name? Like, wtf?)

~*Age*~
She is about 26-ish... but she's not sure because she's pretty much an orphan. Basically, she's an adult.

~*Appearance*~
Kâilar wears child's clothes, which is unusual because she has definitely passed her 24th birthday (Lthuans are considered adults at age 24). She has no tattoo markings (because she has no family). Her clothes and lack of tattoo markings make everyone look at her like she's from another world.

~*Race/Species*~
Native Lthuan: they're an underwater/amphibious race (kind of like a cross between the Zora and the Na'vi)

~*Hobbies and Talents*~
Hobbies: sulking (very good at it), hating life (also good at that one), watching coral-ants (excels--I mean, how hard can it be?), begging (she's so freaking pro)

~*Likes*~
Watching coral-ants, floating just a few feet below the surface, watching the outside world (she's too afraid to actually go out into it, even though she totally could)

~*Dislikes*~
Other people, people who are jerks, her ville (where she lives), the zusa (elders) of the ville (who were her parents), being mocked for her attempts to be someone.

~*Background Story*~
She's the daughter of the village elders-- but according to tradition, the village elders aren't supposed to have kids (they're not even supposed to be *able* to have kids). So she's illegitimate in a way. So anyway, her "parents" throw her out when she's really young. They don't even deign to give her a name, and they hide her till they throw her out (in the middle of the night, while she's sleeping) so that nobody ever knows they had a kid. So she basically grows up begging off of people. Because she has no family, she has nobody to give her the mark of adulthood (a bracelet, for women), so she can't buy adult garb by herself. She's looked down on by everyone because she's basically an overgrown child (even though none of it is really her fault). So she's kind of stuck... but it will all work out eventually, right?

~*Personality*~
She's really really pissy, sarcastic, and the queen of snark, because of her extended childhood. She hates everyone, but she also thinks she's better than they are. But she's Lthuan, and they don't change quickly, so she's in this weird phase between good, innocent beggar child and evil, penniless reject where she is pissed at everyone and is a total b***h all the time.

~*Tell what roleplay or fandom this is for. If it is an original story, please explain story.*~
Basic story (as it pertains to Kâilar): She lives in Lthua, the water kingdom. The MC (who is a human) comes to Lthua on his quest/journey/whatever and asks for her help (even though there's really nothing she can do, he just wants to help her and it's the only way she'll let him help her). He uses just a wee bit of magic and ends up finding a couple from a northern ville (northern villes are notorious for their "radical" ideas) who are willing to act as her "parents" for her 24th birthday ceremony. The elders there also give her nomad tattoos, and she is then free to roam Lthua (or outside it). She helps out the MC until he has to go to the northern waste, where it's freezing cold and very dry. Because she's a water-creature, she'd die up there so she bids him farewell and goes back to northern Lthua. Later, Peltier sees her from afar, walking arm in arm with another one of her kind (who also has the nomad markings).

~*Any supernatural powers*~
Nope.

~*Free Space!*~
Her heart's deepest most desperate desire (like, if she looked in the Mirror of Erised, this is what she'd see) is to belong, to have people who actually love AND like her, and to someday maybe even find someone who will love her, like, forever. (She's straight, single, and doesn't know her birthday.) And I'd like to note that on the UMSLT, Kâilar scored a six (which is obnoxiously low.)

I see. Very unusual. It's kind of strange she doesn't have a name, I mean people had to have called her something. And the hobby thing is weird but I can excuse it because of her circumstances. She might have some Sue-ish tendancies, but they are best left alone, otherwise she would be boring. She reminds me of Lucy from Elfen Lied.  

[Exarielle BlackLaw]

This character's not my MC, but I'm just curious to see what you make of him. I personally like him, but I'm biased because I made him. XD

~*Name*~
Nikanoru Kusakabe (see my sig!) ; His real name is Mordred Solitas veLucife.
~*Age*~ About 260, appears 25
~*Appearance*~ Nika is tall and lean, but has some muscle. His hair is dark gray, but not quite black. It falls to just above his shoulders, and it's always getting in his eyes. He's slightly pale, but not to the extent that it's very noticeable. His ears end in black, scaly fins. Nika's eyes are a very dark shade between red and black with eerie white pupils. They glow very faintly when he uses his powers, which isn't often. He has a tattoo of a cross above his eye that extends down his face and turns into a tear at the bottom. It also fades from black to red as it goes down, making him appear to have a single bloody tear.
Nikanoru tends to dress very old-fashioned, with clothes ranging from Renaissance shirts and slacks to a cape and top hat. He usually wears a lot of black and leather boots.
Race/Species Half-devil, half human. His human half is half British and half Japanese, hence the Japanese pseudonym.
~*Hobbies and Talents*~ Swordplay-proficient, chess-fair, picking up women-depends on the kind of day he's having
~*Likes*~ Tea, sleeping, chess, and things of beauty (flowers, women, art, etc.)
~*Dislikes*~ Being forced to use his powers, fighting, being bothered, injustice
~*Background Story*~ Nikanoru is the b*****d son of a rich devil and a prostitute. He never met his father, and his mother was beaten to death by a drunken client, and so he enrolled in a private school whilst he bought his education by doing odd jobs on campus. He developed feelings for one girl in the school, but she saw him as nothing but a friend and married one of the men who had mistreated Nika as a social outcast.
He accepted it without too much trouble and moved on. The woman's husband forced her into a cult under Nikanoru's older half-brother, Valdragon.
She went to Nika for help, but her husband assumed she was cheating and raped her. Nikanoru defended her as a friend, and killed her husband. She was unconscious after the rape, so Nika framed his older brother.
The woman felt that Valdragon was mentally ill and rebelled against him. She defeated him and offered him a chance of redemption, but Valdragon seized the opportunity and killed her. Valdragon, driven mad with his feelings of betrayal and bloodlust, waged war on all humanity and started a mass genocide.
Nikanoru realized the evil of his ways and rose to fight his brother, killing him but suffering a serious injury to his heart. The wound affects him to the extent that it causes him great pain to use his powers, which is why he dislikes doing so.
After Valdragon's death, most of those under his influence deserted to Nikanoru's service, where most of them serve as his spies. He uses them to keep tabs on humans outside of his affairs, in case he should need to intervene and prevent humans from destroying themselves.
~*Personality*~ Nikanoru is a classic fop, complete with the outdated terms and chivalry. He's also very cynical and matter-of-fact, however, and what sounds like an insult is often a simple statement. He's a very patient man, and is slow to anger. Nikanoru is always very polite, even to his enemies.
~*Tell what roleplay or fandom this is for. If it is an original story, please explain story.*~ Original story! I could explain it in depth, but here's just an overview.
It's far in the future, regular humans and the descendants of those influenced by devils (called the Abnormalities) are at odds. Technology has broken down, leaving ruins of modern-day society. Humans rule, forcing Abnormalities into poverty. However, a secret organization is working to regain their equality. Their plans are suddenly interrupted by the resurrection of Valdragon, and his plans to avenge himself and wipe out both races and start the world over.
~*Suernatural powers*~Can summon portals to any known location at will, and also has the power to place unholy curses on enemies. Curses can be healed, but it's extremely painful and difficult.
~*Free Space!*~ He's straight, single, and ultimately wants the races to stop fighting. His birthday is 7/15. He also lives in a big gothic mansion hidden in a cave. XD  

[VenusRain]

chesiregirl

VenusRain

*snip*

Whoa whoa whoa. She's human? Um, unless normal humans have these crazy abilities in the story, that a Mary Sue quality to have these strange characteristics. Is her name entirely made up, or is it foreign? (By foreign, I mean a country like Russia or South Africa or something.) Hmmm, the best friend thing is kind of mundane. But her body type is very interesting. I like that she isn't perfect. Her hobbies are cool.
Okay, don't panic. Sue is starting to get to your character. Just fix her up in some spots, maybe it will start to look better!

Her name is foreign, albeit from different areas (which is explained by parentage, but she almost never uses her full name so it never comes up). Aleksandra is Russian, and Ragnhild is Scandinavian. Both are real names; my fake names are nowhere near as nice sounding/looking.

And she starts out human; like I'm pretty sure I mentioned in the sea of TL;DR (watch, it'll turn out I forgot) that she only gains her powers because of what's basically a magical thinking weapon-'puter that turns the weilder into freaking Mega Man, and the more powerful she gets, the less human she becomes. Also she's fighting people who have been given power by gods and I know I forgot to mention that bit BECAUSE I'M A FREAKING GENIUS. |B

Ten bucks says I'll have forgotten the important bits in that ocean of teal deer.  

[chesiregirl]

Exarielle BlackLaw

This character's not my MC, but I'm just curious to see what you make of him. I personally like him, but I'm biased because I made him. XD

~*Name*~
Nikanoru Kusakabe (see my sig!) ; His real name is Mordred Solitas veLucife.
~*Age*~ About 260, appears 25
~*Appearance*~ Nika is tall and lean, but has some muscle. His hair is dark gray, but not quite black. It falls to just above his shoulders, and it's always getting in his eyes. He's slightly pale, but not to the extent that it's very noticeable. His ears end in black, scaly fins. Nika's eyes are a very dark shade between red and black with eerie white pupils. They glow very faintly when he uses his powers, which isn't often. He has a tattoo of a cross above his eye that extends down his face and turns into a tear at the bottom. It also fades from black to red as it goes down, making him appear to have a single bloody tear.
Nikanoru tends to dress very old-fashioned, with clothes ranging from Renaissance shirts and slacks to a cape and top hat. He usually wears a lot of black and leather boots.
Race/Species Half-devil, half human. His human half is half British and half Japanese, hence the Japanese pseudonym.
~*Hobbies and Talents*~ Swordplay-proficient, chess-fair, picking up women-depends on the kind of day he's having
~*Likes*~ Tea, sleeping, chess, and things of beauty (flowers, women, art, etc.)
~*Dislikes*~ Being forced to use his powers, fighting, being bothered, injustice
~*Background Story*~ Nikanoru is the b*****d son of a rich devil and a prostitute. He never met his father, and his mother was beaten to death by a drunken client, and so he enrolled in a private school whilst he bought his education by doing odd jobs on campus. He developed feelings for one girl in the school, but she saw him as nothing but a friend and married one of the men who had mistreated Nika as a social outcast.
He accepted it without too much trouble and moved on. The woman's husband forced her into a cult under Nikanoru's older half-brother, Valdragon.
She went to Nika for help, but her husband assumed she was cheating and raped her. Nikanoru defended her as a friend, and killed her husband. She was unconscious after the rape, so Nika framed his older brother.
The woman felt that Valdragon was mentally ill and rebelled against him. She defeated him and offered him a chance of redemption, but Valdragon seized the opportunity and killed her. Valdragon, driven mad with his feelings of betrayal and bloodlust, waged war on all humanity and started a mass genocide.
Nikanoru realized the evil of his ways and rose to fight his brother, killing him but suffering a serious injury to his heart. The wound affects him to the extent that it causes him great pain to use his powers, which is why he dislikes doing so.
After Valdragon's death, most of those under his influence deserted to Nikanoru's service, where most of them serve as his spies. He uses them to keep tabs on humans outside of his affairs, in case he should need to intervene and prevent humans from destroying themselves.
~*Personality*~ Nikanoru is a classic fop, complete with the outdated terms and chivalry. He's also very cynical and matter-of-fact, however, and what sounds like an insult is often a simple statement. He's a very patient man, and is slow to anger. Nikanoru is always very polite, even to his enemies.
~*Tell what roleplay or fandom this is for. If it is an original story, please explain story.*~ Original story! I could explain it in depth, but here's just an overview.
It's far in the future, regular humans and the descendants of those influenced by devils (called the Abnormalities) are at odds. Technology has broken down, leaving ruins of modern-day society. Humans rule, forcing Abnormalities into poverty. However, a secret organization is working to regain their equality. Their plans are suddenly interrupted by the resurrection of Valdragon, and his plans to avenge himself and wipe out both races and start the world over.
~*Suernatural powers*~Can summon portals to any known location at will, and also has the power to place unholy curses on enemies. Curses can be healed, but it's extremely painful and difficult.
~*Free Space!*~ He's straight, single, and ultimately wants the races to stop fighting. His birthday is 7/15. He also lives in a big gothic mansion hidden in a cave. XD

Very nice and cool. Demons are normally Mary Sue (or Gary Stu) but in this case, where demons are more common, it's acceptable. Sueauthors must be hiding, I'm not getting many...  

[W00tification]

Aww I was skipped  

[Exarielle BlackLaw]

chesiregirl

Very nice and cool. Demons are normally Mary Sue (or Gary Stu) but in this case, where demons are more common, it's acceptable. Sueauthors must be hiding, I'm not getting many...

Thank you for the compliment. ^^ And I realize that demons/devils have a tendency to become very Sue-ish, so I had to be careful with this character. Still, I think he turned out rather well. And besides, he's only a half devil. He might not have the powers of normal demons, but he's more realistic that way. And he's happy with the way he is, unlike half-breed characters of a lot of stories.

@W00tification: Um, seeing as I'm not the owner of this thread, so my opinion might not amount to much, but I think Siger sounds like a very interesting character. He's cool. ^^  

[chesiregirl]

W00tification

~*Name*~


Siger Bell

~*Age*~

141

~*Appearance (post a picture or describe their hair, eyes, skin, clothing, birthmarks, etc)*~

He is a tall man almost reaching six feet, dark hair and with gray eyes. He is Caucasian through and through but his skin is very pale considering he spends most of his time on the inside of his flat. Siger's clothing has been on the edge of almost trendy European. Smart, simple and mostly of dark colors. For a man looking like his early 20's he might be a catch if he didnt smell of tobacco most of the time and with a permanent scowl on his face.

~*Race/Species (depending on what fandom, roleplay or original story this is for)*~


He is human but has the benefit of being damned as well. (explination of being damned will be explained)

~*Hobbies and Talents (please also indicate skill level for each hobby)*~

Siger has the habit of unnerving people by being too observant. This fits well within his roll and his somewhat job description. But he does have hobbies of experimenting with chemistry and having a type of morbid fascination of knowing what post mortum injuries have on the body. So digging up cadavers was a great past time in his early life.

~*Likes*~


Science
Forensic
Smoking
Traveling
Knowing

~*Dislikes*~


Guessing
Investigation of his own past by someone else
Certain authors
Supernatural occultism


~*Background Story*~

Siger was born under a different name and different circumstance that he would not like go into at the moment. However, it is not to say that he doesnt know and wouldnt want to know. He does, he was born in an insane asylum. The father could be a prominate doctor that impregnated a young woman while she was commited inside of bedlam. The young woman goes faded in history, but from what he does know that she was into the occult a lot at the time. But he was born, and researchers wanted to have the information and experiment that if one was born out of an insane person would they too express the same symptoms? So he grew up till the age of ten surrounded by screaming men and women out of their minds. One doctor who treated his mother, had taken hold of the boy soon after the mother died, (suicide, bled to death sinces he had slowly chipped a spoon into a sharp point)

Siger was given a new name, a new life. But as the father had suspected a tad bid, unstable. He knew how to talk, its just he perfered not to, and stared at people with his gray eyes. His "brother" Micheal had also noticed that his younger sibbling wasn't right either, tormenting animals for experiments was his pleasure but he did not tell his father about that till many years later.

Siger grew up though, normally under the care of his adoptive brother and father. And well enough to go into medical school. THe father at the time was a well renowned professor who taught the early functions of reading foot prints and determining ones fingerprints, the early case of forensics. Siger was a determined medical student as well. He shared his fathers love of finding it out, and honed his skill to surpassing him. In the meanwhile he opted his medical knowledge by digging up graves and abusing the bodies for scientific purposes even going into the occult practices to see if there was a devil and a god. This ended up having himself damned. It was later found out that he tried to kill another student quickly to see the effects of death on the spot. His father could not hide him, but lessened it to an assault charge and kicked him out of the university.

Kicked out of university, jobless, he was in search of a flat and to make use of his other skills when he was introduced, by a young doctor and writer by his father. Both shared a friendship but the young author soon discovered his roommate's abilities and decided to make bank on the prospect. Thus began a long career of fame for both of them. However, Sigers fame would be under a different name while his writer friend enjoyed the benifits. During the end of the prospect period Siger had began to attract the attention and suspicions of all around him. In the twenty some odd years that they were friends, the writer had noticed, that his friend did not age. In fact he began to notice out of all the dangerous attempts of Sigers life, he would live. Siger told his secret, he had struck a faustian deal with the devil before he met him. In result of eternal life and youth, and whatever he wanted. In the end result the devil gets beck and call on Siger since he was now his "dog." This was proved by him shooting himself in the head and twenty minutes later waking up with a sore head.

Well people age and people die, Siger told his father at the end of his life. And when his writer friend died, the writer made sure that whatever book sells half would go to his family and the other to Siger. Since he made his fortune possible. And now Siger travels alone, slightly jaded on life after the death of his friend and father. He has all the money in the world he needs, and people still know about him. Despite being under a different name. Its just a damned problem just to hear about it from time to time to mention that he is "just like this character."

But he is old and he is bitter, not much has changed about him. Its just sometimes he does wish to die. Despite knowing everything.

~*Personality*~


He is very cold and calculating. Very bitter, when first meeting him and does not think anyone is worth his time. Jaded and sadistic for most on life, who wouldnt be? He doesn't have a vampires sense of forgetfulness and placid ability to accept life. He is a human being and an old one at that.

~*Tell what roleplay or fandom this is for. If it is an original story, please explain story.*~

Its for any supernatural rpg. He is very select character really but in general he is an original character.

~*Any supernatural powers (whether they are commonplace to the story/rp/fandom or not)*~


He is damned. Not only does he get what he wants (but ssometimes its a good thing when running out of tea) but he has the ability to turn into a massive hellhound. This was part of the struck deal. But he does have time to serve down in hell as being a guard in hell.

~*Free Space! Add sexual orientation, birthday, relationship status, etc! Just don't leave it blank ;D*~

Being damned is not a great experience. In the world of vampires and supernaturals. Vampires get it off easily, they do have the genetic gene to actually become more placid and adaptable as time goes on. For Siger damned is like getting old, still having function, but still getting older. He doesn't have the ability to forget things and move on like vamps do. It stays with him and therefore is bitter.

Sexual orientation: He is straight but hasn't yet found that woman after several hundred years, he's been close but not to much.

Well he does have quite an elaborate background with being famous for some time and whatnot. I notice this is a popular trend, people should try to make characters a bit more ordinary in backgrounds, instead of a very special or unusual history.  

[Exarielle BlackLaw]

Thought I'd keep this thread active and post Valdragon's profile. Val's not my main character either, but I'd really like to get another opinion on him. ^_^

~*Name*~ Valdragon Tybalt veLucife
~*Age*~ 300, appears about 30
~*Appearance (post a picture or describe their hair, eyes, skin, clothing, birthmarks, etc)*~ Val is tall and bony. He has very straight long black hair that falls almost all the way down his back when it's down. He's deathly pale and has blood red eyes with slitted pupils like a cat's. One of his eyes was placed under some demonic magic in afight with Nikanoru, leaving it a bright red with no pupil and with demonic runes scarred around it. The eye bleeds when he's upset. Val hates his cursed eye and the pain it causes him, so he typically hides it with an eyepatch or his long bangs. Like his little half-brother, Val's ears end in scaly fins. Valdragon has a black tattoo of a cross on one side of his face, mainly to remind himself of the terrible things humans have done to him.
Valdragon dresses extremely formal, preferring his favorite red velvet coat, silk shirt, and black slacks with dress shoes to anything else.
~*Race/Species (depending on what fandom, roleplay or original story this is for)*~ Devil
~*Hobbies and Talents (please also indicate skill level for each hobby)*~ Torturing his prisoners-expert, plotting-fair, knife throwing-proficient
~*Likes*~ Himself, tormenting others, violence, spicy food
~*Dislikes*~ Nikanoru, his cursed eye, humans, not getting his way
~*Background Story*~ Valdragon was worshipped as a deity by his own personal cult, as arranged by his devil aristocrat parents. His mother found out about his father's treachery when Nikanoru was born, which led to the deaths of both of his parents. Val was never particularly attached to them, hence losing them did little to affect his life.
He grew up in love and comfort by his subjects, in spite of his demands of a live infant sacrifice every fifty years.
Val's life changed when he was betrayed. He murdered the woman who tried to kill him, declared war on all humanity, but was felled in battle by his own brother.
He exists by inhabiting the body of a young host and works toward the resurrection of his original body. With this goal and his plan for revenge in mind, he operates in the shadows until he can retake his true form and powers.
~*Personality*~ Valdragon is cold, sadistic, and willing to sacrifice anything (and anyone) to achieve his goals. He has a dangerously short temper, which leads to even more trouble for those foolish enough to displease him.
~*Tell what roleplay or fandom this is for. If it is an original story, please explain story.*~ Original story, see my post on Nikanoru. ^_^

~*Any supernatural powers *~ Limited teleportation, ability to cause enemies searing pain with touch, possession
~*Free Space!*~ Val's never truly clear on his sexuality, but his appearance and tendancies to flirt with his male victims imply that he may be gay. He was born on 10/13. He lives in the dilapidated old castle of a city that fell to a sudden plague outbreak. He also has lodgings in what remains of his cathedral from the days before he went insane.  

[chesiregirl]

Exarielle BlackLaw

Thought I'd keep this thread active and post Valdragon's profile. Val's not my main character either, but I'd really like to get another opinion on him. ^_^

~*Name*~ Valdragon Tybalt veLucife
~*Age*~ 300, appears about 30
~*Appearance (post a picture or describe their hair, eyes, skin, clothing, birthmarks, etc)*~ Val is tall and bony. He has very straight long black hair that falls almost all the way down his back when it's down. He's deathly pale and has blood red eyes with slitted pupils like a cat's. One of his eyes was placed under some demonic magic in afight with Nikanoru, leaving it a bright red with no pupil and with demonic runes scarred around it. The eye bleeds when he's upset. Val hates his cursed eye and the pain it causes him, so he typically hides it with an eyepatch or his long bangs. Like his little half-brother, Val's ears end in scaly fins. Valdragon has a black tattoo of a cross on one side of his face, mainly to remind himself of the terrible things humans have done to him.
Valdragon dresses extremely formal, preferring his favorite red velvet coat, silk shirt, and black slacks with dress shoes to anything else.
~*Race/Species (depending on what fandom, roleplay or original story this is for)*~ Devil
~*Hobbies and Talents (please also indicate skill level for each hobby)*~ Torturing his prisoners-expert, plotting-fair, knife throwing-proficient
~*Likes*~ Himself, tormenting others, violence, spicy food
~*Dislikes*~ Nikanoru, his cursed eye, humans, not getting his way
~*Background Story*~ Valdragon was worshipped as a deity by his own personal cult, as arranged by his devil aristocrat parents. His mother found out about his father's treachery when Nikanoru was born, which led to the deaths of both of his parents. Val was never particularly attached to them, hence losing them did little to affect his life.
He grew up in love and comfort by his subjects, in spite of his demands of a live infant sacrifice every fifty years.
Val's life changed when he was betrayed. He murdered the woman who tried to kill him, declared war on all humanity, but was felled in battle by his own brother.
He exists by inhabiting the body of a young host and works toward the resurrection of his original body. With this goal and his plan for revenge in mind, he operates in the shadows until he can retake his true form and powers.
~*Personality*~ Valdragon is cold, sadistic, and willing to sacrifice anything (and anyone) to achieve his goals. He has a dangerously short temper, which leads to even more trouble for those foolish enough to displease him.
~*Tell what roleplay or fandom this is for. If it is an original story, please explain story.*~ Original story, see my post on Nikanoru. ^_^

~*Any supernatural powers *~ Limited teleportation, ability to cause enemies searing pain with touch, possession
~*Free Space!*~ Val's never truly clear on his sexuality, but his appearance and tendancies to flirt with his male victims imply that he may be gay. He was born on 10/13. He lives in the dilapidated old castle of a city that fell to a sudden plague outbreak. He also has lodgings in what remains of his cathedral from the days before he went insane.

It's okay I guess, but he's quite a stereotypical demon, don'tcha think? I like that his orientation isn't clear, because many people are like that so it's a bit easier to relate to him. He kind of reminds me of Supernatural, so that gives you some points :3  

[Exarielle BlackLaw]

chesiregirl

It's okay I guess, but he's quite a stereotypical demon, don'tcha think? I like that his orientation isn't clear, because many people are like that so it's a bit easier to relate to him. He kind of reminds me of Supernatural, so that gives you some points :3

I think so too, so that's why I'd like some advice on how I can make him better. XP I hate it when my characters fall too easily into stereotypes.
I like his background, but I think it's missing something important... Maybe some work on his appearance...?  

[chesiregirl]

Exarielle BlackLaw

chesiregirl

It's okay I guess, but he's quite a stereotypical demon, don'tcha think? I like that his orientation isn't clear, because many people are like that so it's a bit easier to relate to him. He kind of reminds me of Supernatural, so that gives you some points :3

I think so too, so that's why I'd like some advice on how I can make him better. XP I hate it when my characters fall too easily into stereotypes.
I like his background, but I think it's missing something important... Maybe some work on his appearance...?

Yes, try to make his appearance not so OUT THERE. And maybe have a soft spot for someone or something that could perhaps be an important strength or weakness in the plot?  

[Arabian Sad]

I decided to throw my other main character at you. It took me a while to put his profile together; I hope it suffices.

~*Name*~
----- Leon (no last name mentioned) – He prefers to go by the nickname, Leo.

~*Age*~
----- 17 years old

~*Appearance*~
----- The same height as Nicki, 5’7, he’s actually less angular in the face in comparison; he does have slightly broad shoulders though. He has a “baby face” where as he’s a bit round and chubby in the cheeks. He’s unhealthily thin because his satyriasis causes him to devalue the need for sleep and food; at the same time, his satyriasis has given him a lot of stamina, so he’s fairly toned as well. His deformity gives others the false image that he’s fat which makes it look as though he has a large, extended belly. Actually, he has 4 extra arms that grew along his sides beneath his “anatomically correct” arms, just below his rib cage, which he keeps bundled together under his clothes. He has a pale but darker skin tone than Nicki, big, black eyes, thick eyebrows, an expressible, elongated mouth, and ebony hair. His hair has many layers; the upper layers are cut shorter, stopping just at the tips of his ears and the ends flip out. The lower layers are much longer, tied back in a loose ponytail that runs down between his shoulder blades, stopping just a few inches above them. As for his attire, he wears a variation of wool sweaters that most have the opinion of being ugly, dark jeans two sizes too big for him accompanied by a belt as to keep them from falling down, and sneakers. Again, shoe descriptions fail me…


~*Race/Species*~
----- Caucasian, Human.

~*Hobbies and Talents*~
----- Suffering from satyriasis and consistently trying to keep his deformity a secret, he doesn’t really have any hobbies.
----- However, prior to the development of his condition, he had a thing for physical activities; though he was a klutz, he always wanted to move.

~*Likes*~
----- Food-wise, anything, especially anything spicy – the opposite of Nicki who can’t tolerate spicy.
----- Any form of physical contact (when it is desired).
----- Physics, but his Don Juanism, self insecurity, and horrible health prevent him from actively participating.
----- Girls, as exploitable objects unfortunately.

~*Dislikes*~
----- Hospitals, including anyone who works in a field involving medical procedures.
----- Sharon, a minor character who’s an even bigger prude than Nicki (though Leo still has tendencies to think of exploiting her).
----- Rumble strips found on some roads.

~*Background Story*~
----- I had two ideas meant to delve deeper into Leo’s personal life concerning his parents. With little feedback, I decided to go with my original idea; unfortunately, it utilizes the overused orphan concept; I hope you can find it favorable all the same.

----- Leo’s parents never had any intentions to have children due to a busy schedule that consumed their time with travel and an inexperienced, confound nature that wouldn’t know what to do if one was there, and Leo was no exception. The mother was actually raped; the convict was never found, and Leo was conceived. Yes, I’m subtly hinting that Don Juanism is genetic, therefore suggesting that the culprit suffered it as well (giving reason for why he would attack this woman) and passed it on to Leo.

----- Leo was kept merely out of pity as his deformity brought up the concern that he’d never be adopted. Somewhere between a few weeks to months old, his parents disappeared without a trace and were never found. Their abandoned home was eventually entered by police who found the baby, Leo by himself. An ugly rumor began that his parents actually fled the country, feeling they were too incompetent to raise a child, yet too mentally impaired to figure out what to do with him. Leo then went through years of foster families until he made the decision to live on his own in his late teens, mainly due to the development of his Don Juanism which was growing increasingly difficult to hide and control, especially in the presence of female foster family members. He is still highly financed by foster care and a care taker visits on a regular basis to check on him.

~*Personality*~
----- Before the revealing of his conditions, he was mostly known to behave weirdly around others thus avoided all contact, visual and physical, and he rarely spoke to anyone; however, it is mentioned that he did tend to speak more to males than females. In public, he portrays himself as unapproachable, intentionally isolated, and even right down retarded. After the revealing of his conditions to Nicki, he opens up more to her, revealing that he was inclined to inadvertently speak in ludicrous ways and say vulgar, suggestive things.

----- He is actually very childish; he turns into a blundering baby who cries when things get sour; he has terrible focus, so he has a tendency to excessively drool on himself or whatever is beneath him; he'll even drool while crying; he gets overjoyed about seeing kittens and throws a horrible tantrum when he doesn't get his way. He overreacts to everything from fainting, having seizures, and bawling. A point that I intend to have Nicki bring up to herself in the story is that, “… looking past the condition, he was fragile; if he did not have it, he would be the very definition of innocence, but he did have it and it corrupted him against his will…” and “… it was like he had split personalities; one moment he would be childlike, naively smiling and confounded; the next moment, she would realize she had to struggle to pry him off, to break free from the death grip he had on her clothes; his eyes would be unrecognizable like he had been temporarily taken over by someone else entirely…”.

~*Tell what role play or fandom this is for. If it is an original story, please explain story.*~
----- Copy and paste from Nicki’s profile because it’s the same story:

----- Nicki has just transferred from private school into public school, and although she has spent the better half of her life in the same private school, she follows through with her decision as a means to escape and defy her opulent, biased family.

----- As the new student amongst seniors, she is quickly made aware of the one everybody calls the school freak, Leo. He's fat, behaves weirdly around others thus keeps to himself, rarely speaks, and plenty more. A cynic of the use of stereotypes, Nicki disregards her new found friends’ warnings that “he just won’t acknowledge you” and attempts to confront the said freak. Her first attempt, and many after that, ended in failure as she finds herself unable to get even a word out of him. Controlling and unreasonable, she is unwilling to let his avoidance pass her and continues to address him, even if it meant visiting him at home.

----- Then finally, while visiting him one evening under false but legitimate reasons, she learns, in the worst way, about the underlying conditions he has that make him live the way he does – he suffers from satyriasis and a severe case of deformity.

~*Any supernatural powers*~
----- No.

~*Free Space!*~
----- Birthday: November 27

----- It’s understood that he didn’t have Don Juanism his whole life; it “developed” somewhere in his early teens, maybe even before that, but so far, an exact date and age is unknown. Because of his Don Juanism, he is involuntarily sexually attracted to nearly every female he sees.

----- Leo’s deformity suggests that he should have been in a set of triplets OR have had a twin that became tremendously deformed after it stopped developing early in the process and conjoined with him. Leo got lucky; his extra limbs “appear” fully developed, but they do not fully function. Normally I would have to assume that extra limbs almost never function, but if a baby can have two functioning faces, then Leo can have slightly functional extra limbs; that’s just my intake on it. For the most part, I am leaving them very nonfunctional.

----- As for relationships, he's never been in one and later in the story, even when it seems like he and Nicki are in a relationship, neither have the intention of calling it as such. Neither of them have experience and neither of them thought they would ever would be in one, so they almost view each other as simply friends with benefits.  

[Exarielle BlackLaw]

chesiregirl

Exarielle BlackLaw

chesiregirl

It's okay I guess, but he's quite a stereotypical demon, don'tcha think? I like that his orientation isn't clear, because many people are like that so it's a bit easier to relate to him. He kind of reminds me of Supernatural, so that gives you some points :3

I think so too, so that's why I'd like some advice on how I can make him better. XP I hate it when my characters fall too easily into stereotypes.
I like his background, but I think it's missing something important... Maybe some work on his appearance...?

Yes, try to make his appearance not so OUT THERE. And maybe have a soft spot for someone or something that could perhaps be an important strength or weakness in the plot?

Right. I was thinking I'd make his eyes a little duller, more like a normal red... And not as pale. He's still white, but not deathly so. I'll also shorten his hair a bit. It's more managable and easier to draw, that way, anyway. Hmm... You think I should tone down his outfit?
As for weaknesses, Val holds a slightly creepy attraction to the human he normally controls. He claims that even after he regains his true form, he will keep his old host around for "special experiments".