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 Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 7:32 pm
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"It would probably be safest," Cesare mused, pacing back over to the bed and flopping down onto it, "if you watched from the bed." Admittedly, a significant amount of wicked humor was powering that remark. The headache was not going away on its own, but suddenly he didn't particularly care. The opportunity to tease Migel was never one to pass up. Perhaps it was childish of him, but if so, this was the one childish pastime that he held onto. They were closer than friends, closer than brothers. It was, in fact, as though each was, in his own way, an extension of the other. Albeit, Cesare was most certainly guiding their little craft.
At present. "Who was it this time?" he asked conversationally, stretching out further to make himself comfortable. He didn't even care that someone might hear. What did it matter? It was hardly as though Migel were the only one on Pern who had ever been caught up in a Flight. Even if he'd done the catching up himself.
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 8:24 pm
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"Well.." He knew Cesare was teasing him, and a small, imperceptible smirk spread over his face as well. He followed the young Holder back to his bunk, sitting on its edge. He leaned his hands on the bed, either side of Cesare. "If that's what my lord commands," he said. "Of course, as your body guard, I can only agree." Well, it would be safer. Not that he could ever really suggest something like that seriously.
He leaned back when Cesare changed the subject, shifting naturally out of his way as he moved to get comfortable. It was almost a kind of telepathy now. In fact, most of their communication was probably non verbal. "A rider." he answered. "'L'an of green Alcareth'. I liked his tattoos." he added with a small grin.
"He's older. A wingrider, I believe. He could be a useful friend." he filled him in, eager to prove that it wasn't an entirely wasted evening from Cesare's point of view. Though they had no specific job or mission here, Migel still liked to set up a network of 'friends' he could turn to for assistance or information. Sleeping with people was one of the ways he did that. Even if it was only a one time thing, he found it was often a quicker way to endear yourself to someone than other more time consuming methods.
Though that wasn't exactly his intention in this case, L'an still seemed like a reliable sort of person, that he at least felt reasonably confident he could turn to for help if they really needed it.
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 8:34 pm
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There was teasing, and then there was being a tease. And Migel was most definitely being a tease. A flash of irritation swept through Cesare. ... Teased him, and then immediately began to talk about that other man. Admittedly, he'd asked, but...
Eyes flashing with frustrated emotions, the lord holder's son behaved quite badly, and actually bit Migel. He didn't even care that there would probably be consequences. "Dirty, rotten tease."
Settling down comfortably on the bed was now becoming increasingly impossible. He was becoming increasingly impossible, no doubt. Didn't care. Irrational as it was, he could not completely control this. "Oh is he? How wonderful for him. I'm sure he'll be... useful." If he was being terse, it was only because apparently he was still mad at Migel. b*****d.
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 9:01 pm
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"Ow!" Migel hissed, flinching away when Cesare bit him. Cesare was the only person in the world who could get away with that. Anyone else who tried would have been face down on the floor by now, with at least several of their bones not in their original configuration. Even with Cesare's siblings, he would've twisted an arm or slammed them against the bed frame, before 'claiming' he had moved on instinct and didn't realize it was them.
Instead, he just put a hand over his shoulder, covering the wound with his palm and his glare with a smirk. "You know you love it." he retorted, faux cockiness finishing out their... Whatever this was.
But like a child snapped at by a wild canine, he got the message to back off and slid another half-foot down the bed, putting some distance between them as he went fully out of 'friend' and into 'bodyguard' mode, his manner becoming more still and watchful as he waited to what Cesare would say.
"He could be useful." he repeated, trying to keep both confusion and defensiveness out of his voice. What was going on with his friend today?
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2017 4:28 am
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... There it was, wasn't it? He did love it. Much to his own frustration, dismay, and confusion. Cesare had never had such stupidly malleable feelings before. Or rather, emotions that made him feel malleable. It was demeaning, in a way. And furthermore, it just wasn't right, was it? He wasn't supposed to feel emotions like this, and not for Migel. But he was jealous. "Yes. I do love it." There was more in those words than he'd meant to convey.
What was wrong with him? He'd never been so out of control. "I think you make me a little crazy with it." Why was he confessing stupid things? But then... Migel was his best friend, along with being his bodyguard. Also his supposed brother, although he'd never felt like anything of the kind. Cesare had a brother. Migel had been a friend.
"Mm. I'm sure he could be." That, of course, was not the point, and not the reason for this sudden dip into irrationality. How could he say what he was feeling? Should he say it? Such confessions were surely for lesser people, people who did not have so much riding on their every action, every word. And he was sure, absolutely sure, that his father already had a marriage in mind, but the thought of that just made him miserable for reasons he did not dare admit.
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2017 4:29 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2017 6:14 pm
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A thousand thoughts sped through Cesare's mind, lighting up like dragon's fire in the darkest night. Suddenly, he was aware of nothing and no one but Migel. As it really had always been. There was no one, no one else in the world, that he could trust... but Migel. For the longest time, that had meant the only true friendship that he could really ever have. But now? Now other ideas had presented themselves quite violently.
With Migel so close, he could scarcely think. For the first time in his life, he was almost at a loss for words. The bodyguard was leaning over him, right there. He wanted to reach up, to twine his fingers in Migel's hair... to...
He really must be going crazy. "Migel, you've never been a brother to me," he said, knowing that his words might be misconstrued. "What I want..."
He paused, and the silence lengthened almost out to eternity. He couldn't worry about what might happen next. He had to make a move. As he'd never done before. He wasn't a coward who would hide from a conversation because it was different.
"I want you to kiss me." There. He'd said it.
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Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 2:44 pm
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If Migel had thought there was nothing Cesare could ask of him that would shock him anymore, then apparently he was wrong. He pulled back minutely, scanning his face to see if he was serious. Was this just because of the flight? Was he going to regret it tomorrow? Should he try to stop him even if he did? It occurred to him that Cesare could just be teasing him. It occurred to him that Cesare could just be testing him... But all these things occurred to him as after thoughts. It was Cesare's job to overthink and overanalyze everything. It was his job to react, and to trust his instincts. And right now his instincts were telling him that this was right. And if Cesare suggested it, it couldn't possibly be wrong..
He leaned forward until their lips met, his right hand resting on the bed to steady himself. It was cautious... Tentative. He still didn't know what Cesare was really after. Like every time he got in a fight, his body had moved without him thinking about it. When he moved back a moment later, he was more confused than ever.
It was easy to think, because he was willing to take a dagger for Cesare, that he was the brave one of the two of them. But when it came to things like this, he was surprisingly cowardly. He knew he had to say something.. but he couldn't get beyond the fear that whatever he said, it would be the wrong thing. Instead, he braced his left arm against the bed beside Cesare's head. He ran his other hand over the side of his head and leaned forward again, less cautious this time. He never told him to do it twice.. Take that as you may. Maybe he would get in trouble for it, if Cesare was just messing with him, but it was all he could think of doing in that moment.
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Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 3:04 pm
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And with that first kiss, the world came back into focus. Everything was as it should be. Cesare was no longer floating in a world on confusion. This made sense. More than anything, they had always made sense. No matter what anyone thought of them, no matter what their father had decided for them, this belonged to them. No one could take it away, although Cesare didn't doubt that they'd try, especially the aforementioned father. His father, not Migel's, although the man would have argued the distinction.
Having spent the night trying to figure out what was wrong with him, he wasn't nearly as surprised as Migel. He'd thought this through, worked out that this was why he'd been angry. Angry, as he'd never before been angry at Migel. They'd been free, and Migel had still found someone else. Well, now he wouldn't have to. Maybe he still would, but the necessity had rather vanished. Cesare gave into the urge that had been eating away at him, and fisted his hands in Migel's hair, pulling him in close.
Breathe. Here, in this moment, there was no one and nothing else. He kissed Migel, and here the lion was again, that untamed, royal creature that would bow to no man. He hadn't asked Migel to kiss him because he was some weak kneed thing that needed to be reassured. He'd asked him because he'd wanted to know how Migel felt about the idea. Knowing now as he did that his bodyguard could not resist him even after such a request, he took the ground the other had given, and laid siege to what reservations his friend might yet have.
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2017 3:04 pm
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Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 7:28 am
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Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 10:54 am
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Migel stopped and sat up when Cesare pulled away from him. He tried not to sigh again, but this time he couldn't help it. What was going on with him? First he was on, then he was off. First he was mad, then he was fine, then he was mad again. His teeth rolled over his lip as his brow twitched in annoyance. He kind of felt like biting him back now.. He wanted to yell at him to just make up his damn mind already. But he didn't. Deep breath. Control. This was probably just his way of getting back at him for last night...
He opened his eyes and looked back at Cesare, waiting (if somewhat imaptiently). Waiting for some careless remark, some indication that he was just messing with him, some 'don't forget your place'. Instead, Cesare just looked uncertain again. His shoulder slumped. What the hell did he do now? For that matter, what the hell was he doing in the first place? He was kissing the man he was raised to protect. He had more or less forgotten where they were, who he was.. who Cesare was.
He sighed and leaned back on his hands, more confused than ever. They were known to speak in intimations and subtleties, but this was beyond his comprehension. "I'm not sure I understand." What was going on with him... What he was angry about... What he wanted... "Can you please just explain it to me?" he asked, giving up. No point trying to be prideful or clever. He just wanted to understand..
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Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 5:25 pm
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"I was trying to figure something out, but I think it made me more confused." Which, really, was unlike him. Cesare weighed his thoughts, trying to think of what he should say to Migel to smooth this over. If, indeed, he could. "I couldn't tell if you were... interested." The way that Migel had just seemed to shutdown and go unresponsive... had unnerved him. He didn't know what to think. He had honestly been elated, until the moment that he hadn't known what to do with himself. Shards, but he was making a terrible mess of things. Sitting on the bed, Cesare tried to find his way back to normalcy. This wasn't right. He'd taken a wrong turn, and he'd made things strange for them both.
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Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:31 pm
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"Sorry." he muttered automatically, though he was no less confused himself. He waited as Cesare explained. "Hmm." he said, absorbing that. He'd never been very expressive in his reactions. He shuffled closer, leaning his forehead against Cesare's, close enough that it looked like there was only one eye in the middle of his forehead. "Heh."
Even as a little kid he'd nearly revered him. His special secret. His precious friend. He used to put his hands on the sides of his head and put their foreheads together like this, giggling like crazy when two eyes turned into one. And all the while he'd been amazed that this person wanted to be around him, him, out of everyone...
Back then, he'd probably been longing for a sibling. There weren't many children that far outside the Hold.. he was probably lonely. But since then, the depth of his feelings went way beyond what was normal between two brothers, or even two friends.
He touched his cheek like it was made of glass. "Interested doesn't even begin to cover it.." Even so, he knew that until Cesare told him, in no uncertain terms, that this was what he wanted, he would never, ever act on them. Cesare was a Holder, his attention was a commodity. He was better off if he used it on people whose loyalty he didn't already have.
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:26 am
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This was comfortable. This was normal. This... was them. As they'd always been, so close that sometimes the edges blurred where they were divided. And maybe he just wanted them to blur all the more. Cesare leaned into that touch, breathing Migel in. So, it hadn't been a lack of interest that had made the other so seemingly unresponsive. In fact, perhaps he hadn't been unresponsive. "You might think I know what I'm doing." It would be easy to assume. Yet in his training, he'd never... gone past a certain point. The reason for that had been somewhat unclear.
Maybe it was that he had standards. Maybe it was that he'd wanted to keep such tools in reserve, when he could get what he wanted without stooping to such levels. Maybe... it was because he'd wanted this. "So, I don't. But I do know that every time you wander off like you did last tonight, it..." Words failed him, for the first time in his life. "Well. I wanted to know if you might have stayed." If he'd said a word, lifted a finger.
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