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 Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 12:45 am
spike eclipse Sour_Kiss Well, nowadays, all that children see on the streets is couples making out and not only on the streets but also on movies.. I mean for God's sake there is animated porn!! How sick is this?!?! scream Children or Teens do what they see, they think that since you are no more a virgin you are old enough.. They consider it a game or just a way to prove something to elder people.. And since you haven't had a sexual relationship yet it means that you haven't grown up enough yet and still are ashamed of the opposite sex's body.. They dont get that sex is had only when there is this strong feeling of physical and mind attraction..(I won't say love because most of you dont believe in its existance) On the other hand, they do it to prove to others that they are able to love, even though they are doing the opposite!! Elder people keep on repeating how they are not able to love and thats why they think of sex in a way to prove themselves ... able to love.. Thank God am still a virgin lol biggrin 4laugh blaugh Personally i don't think what people do with other people should be anyones concern but the people whom are involved....despite what the world influences you to do not everyone follows what they see...my fiance is 28 and has been sexually active since she was 12 ...why?because she was matured enough and felt sexual urges. not that thats any of your buisness its the fact that is shouldn't matter to everyone what she did or for that matter what she didn't do....being a virgin or not in the end doesn't matter and i know alot of people do not understand that.... there has to be something for people who are young to think that makes them better then everyone else and they use that as something that they think is wrong or right.... in the fact that they want to seperate the classes of people with how they act and what they do. There is always going to be pressure to be something that someone is not... the pressure doesn't come from other people doing it it comes from wanting to fit in and conform with what people want....I think that people should just let others do as they please and stop with the BS but we all know that that will never happen because its part of the human psyche that tells us we have to try and be better then everyone else but that will never be true ...no one is better...just diferent ...and the next time you think that someone is acting what they see maybe you should think that thats not whats going on maybe they are simply just getting the idea and the thought of doing that so that know that they "can" do it....kids see people kill others on tv and all that jazz....not all of them do it....and yes yes i know the mentally unstable ones go on a shooting rampage but the normal ones they all usually have their own morals and they see sex as not a bad thing...virginity isn't something to be proud of or shunned about its something that is simply a fact of you....as long as your morals go with how you act then there is no reason to care what they say and thats how i taught my kids...I tell them that they can make their decisions ...being as they are old enough for that stuff...but remember what matters to them ....and lastly...never try and push your morals on someone else..its not your place to tell someone how they should act or do...they will do what they will to their morals....you cannot control that. Mm, yes, it's true that we cannot control their morals. But really...what is the true moral? I mean, back in the days, losing virginity happened only after marriage (not in ALL cases, but still...there were more virgins that didn't marry than those who weren't virgins that didn't marry). Nowadays, more people lose their virginity before marriage. And think of the consequences to those who DO lose their virginities before marriage...ha, even if they used protections and whatnot, half those people get pregnant. (I think I may have exaggerated a little here, so do forgive me) So if you think that a thirteen-year old girl, pregnant with a baby is okay, then I guess 42 years old men who rape little children are okay too because they have their own morals too.
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 9:27 am
Both of those cases are radically different from each other, and probably shouldn't be compared.
A 13 year old pregnancy is more likely the result of either an unwillingly sexual act (not necessarily rape, but unwilling none the less) or the result of emotional or mental immaturity that did not sufficiently prepare her for the consequences of her actions.
A 42 year old man has four decades of experience and knows what is legal. An act of molestation is the result of mental instability, obsessive-compulsion, or possibly a conscious act.
People have every right to have their own morals, and to impose one set of morals on everyone else is called fascism. Simply because I don't have YOUR morals and values doesn't mean that I DON'T have morals and values. Many people say that pre-marital sex is immoral, but plenty of people believe it's okay; who is to determine which is right? Virginity before marriage was simply an archaic way of preventing STDs and to serve the sexual preferences of lords and nobles.
Yes, to say that half of the people who engage in pre-marital sex is an extreme exaggeration. With the availability of contraceptives these days, pre-marital preganancies are generally limited to those without access to them, ie high schoolers.
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 11:36 am
I know many people who have been pressured into sex by either guys, friends or just wanna get it over and done with. But y'know, it's the person in question's choice, my friends are very stubborn, and if they wanna do something they will.
Personally, I don't care about age. I mean, in my mind I feel ready, but that doesn't mean I'm going to whore myself off, have unprotected sex, or go with some randomer. I'd rather stay a virgin than do something that could give me several nasty diseases, and possibly get me pregnant, thus ruining my education.
In the media sex is regarded as the cool thing to do, and the sheep of society follow. Better sex education is needed for teens to be able to at least stay slightly safer and less pregnant. >.>
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Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:13 am
If not being a virgin is immoral... i don't know.... What is morality anyway?
Before, gays and lesbians were considered immoral and mentally sick. But now, they are socially accepted - well I don't say "that" accepted but they compare before... they are now respected.
Well... losing one's virginity... of who? My mom is not a virgin anymore! I'm 100% sure about that. But, it's okay.
But, my cousin who lost her virginity is not okay for my grannys... I don't know why... but my mom and my cousin are both lost their virginity... the difference is that my mom lost her virginity after marriage and my cousin lost her virginity... without marriage.
People set their own moral standards! Darn it!
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Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:18 am
I think... others consider virginity as a very precious thing because once you were devirginize you're devirginize.
Science can't make you virgin again...
and so???
Go on! Live with it!
Being not a virgin can't shorten you life... so I think it's okay.
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Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:26 am
wait...
I think virginity deprives women...
Men can lie about their virginity but women can not!
Darn you HYMEN!
stare
Some men, who are sex-maniac and love to devirginize women, want to marry virgin.
This is absurd!
After having sex with his wife, then what? find another?
stare and how about this...
what if you want a virgin partner, before you accept him/her as you bf/gf, wil you ask him/her,
hey, r u still a virgin?
stare FREAKY!
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Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:25 am
To me to say that teens get teased for being a virgin, teens also get teased for not being a virgin. Either way just becuz one person lost their virginity doesn't mean that that person is immoral, and just becuz someone is still a virgin doesn't mean that person is naive.
To me, no one outside the relationship really needs to know if the person in question is or is not a virgin, that doesn't need to be made public knowledge! So if someone is getting teased becuz their a virgin, then that person had to tell them that then. If that person did it becuz they wanted to declare their morals....all good and fun but don't be mad when you get teased about it a little bit.
I may be looking at this from a harsh perspective but think about it logically, there are not that many people that really need to know whether you're sexually active or not, its irrelevant at school/work/socially. So lets throw some other irrelevant so called moral act out there. Its like walking up to a person and saying "I pick up trash when I see it even though it isn't mine!" again irrelevant so don't get mad if someone teases you for it, or opposes the view.
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Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:50 am
Azirru, please keep all your thoughts to one post, it makes things easier.
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Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:03 pm
I think it's because so many virgins these days have this "holier than thou" attitude because they're abstaining for religious reasons. And people who don't abstain pick on the spiritual virgins because they don't want to feel guilty.
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 8:04 am
i am not convinced that this shift HAS happened.
in some circles it is very much a point of pride to be "saving yourself" for marriage.
you have bracelets about it and everything.
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:55 pm
I think it would depend greatly on the area that you're from, and the general value system of said area.
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 9:49 am
dboyzero Both of those cases are radically different from each other, and probably shouldn't be compared. A 13 year old pregnancy is more likely the result of either an unwillingly sexual act (not necessarily rape, but unwilling none the less) or the result of emotional or mental immaturity that did not sufficiently prepare her for the consequences of her actions. A 42 year old man has four decades of experience and knows what is legal. An act of molestation is the result of mental instability, obsessive-compulsion, or possibly a conscious act. People have every right to have their own morals, and to impose one set of morals on everyone else is called fascism. Simply because I don't have YOUR morals and values doesn't mean that I DON'T have morals and values. Many people say that pre-marital sex is immoral, but plenty of people believe it's okay; who is to determine which is right? Virginity before marriage was simply an archaic way of preventing STDs and to serve the sexual preferences of lords and nobles. Yes, to say that half of the people who engage in pre-marital sex is an extreme exaggeration. With the availability of contraceptives these days, pre-marital preganancies are generally limited to those without access to them, ie high schoolers. Morals are dictated by society not the individual. Like it or not we are creatures that have to function in this society and that is where our morals and values come from. They are there to make society function smoothly. I have a friend that is 22 and he is still a virgin...not by choice but because he just hasn't found the right person. This has become a stigma for him. He was talking to a girl who had been coming onto him but when he told her he was a virgin she did not want to play with him anymore. She told him that he didn't know what he wanted and he didn't have enough dating experience. This is just a shame. With all of the STDs and such I think his virginity should be a plus...you know where he hasn't been...but it has become a stubbling block for him. One more point of contention for me. Even though there are contraceptives available no contraceptive is 100% effective and the hormones in the most reliable forms (pills and patches) can cause health problems for many people.
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 9:37 pm
Of course morals come from the society as a whole, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the founders of these morals, or even the majority, is correct. 300 years ago, it was morally acceptable to treat people of color as second-class citizens, but because people began to oppose these views, things have changed. There will always be contention between what is right and what is wrong, and the sooner people realize that, the better. Rather than blindly follow someone else's concept of good and evil, think for yourself and discover your own set of values, and go from there. Of course, taking into consideration the reigning laws is probably beneficial, but they still may not necessarily be just.
You are correct in that no contraceptive is 100% effective, and hormone treatments do cause some problems for people. There are those, however, who use birth control pills as a method of regulating their periods, and would argue that there are some benefits to those methods as well.
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:55 am
Ah, it's an interesting question. People can get trashed for being virgins and people can get trashed for being promiscuis. Hard to win, isn't it?
I am loathe to blame the media and what not as most people do, but it does play some part. I think kids are being introduced to sex at younger and younger ages through movies and tv. I think it often makes them think that everyone else around them is having sex, and so whether or not they have actually had sex they will often act as though they have to heighten their coolness factor. So that person who actually listened to their parents or whoever gets trashed for not following the pack.
But yeah, ultimately people have sex because they like it. And, its a lot easier to get away with it nowadays, what with condoms and othe fairly reliable birth control and the like.
Of course, I am speaking of western society. Many other cultures never had such puritanical views on sex, so that point would be moot. Although, for most of the Western world at one point 13 was a likely age to be married off to some guy and well on your way to your first kid. So, it's all relative, really.
Azirru: Actually, the hymen tearing does not just happen the first time a girl has sex. Most little girls actually lose it from horseback riding and a variety of other sports and activities. In years long since passed many mothers used to give their daughters a little bag of sheep's blood or some such to put on the sheets after the first time she had sex with her husband just in case it didn't break so he wouldn't think her impure and have rights to kill her.
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 4:58 pm
dboyzero Of course morals come from the society as a whole, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the founders of these morals, or even the majority, is correct. 300 years ago, it was morally acceptable to treat people of color as second-class citizens, but because people began to oppose these views, things have changed. There will always be contention between what is right and what is wrong, and the sooner people realize that, the better. Rather than blindly follow someone else's concept of good and evil, think for yourself and discover your own set of values, and go from there. Of course, taking into consideration the reigning laws is probably beneficial, but they still may not necessarily be just. You are correct in that no contraceptive is 100% effective, and hormone treatments do cause some problems for people. There are those, however, who use birth control pills as a method of regulating their periods, and would argue that there are some benefits to those methods as well. It is a medical fact that women on hormones are four times more likely to get breast cancer. Proven study there. Sure people use them to regulate their cycles but this does not make them a good thing either. You have to weigh the risk factors against the benefits. I agree that morals do change but to tell people to live by their own moral values is a fools game. I know people who would cause terrible things if left to their own moral codes. Right and wrong is not something that should be just left up to the individual to sort out for themselves. Parents raise their children to follow the values that are set by society to prevent them from running a foul of the law. Individual moral value leads to conflict and general unrest is this really what we want?
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