THE ANGST ZONE (Use this, for the love of internetz! ><)

[Indigo Project]

There's always a chance as long as you have hope. I've almost lost mine.  

[Sentama Lin]

Hope... I'm not sure what to hope for anymore...

...sure... there's teaching... and I hope to be a good teacher... but what's the point...

You know... it's probably just something that has to be forgotten... I'll never see it...  

[Indigo Project]

I feel like crying now.

I should put on mascarra so it runs. That could make for a good photo op.  

[Sentama Lin]

I'd cry with you if I was nearer... I've wanted to cry for so long...  

[Indigo Project]

I can't cry though.

1. I'm training myself not to.
2. I don't want to have puffy red eyes when my grandparents get here.  

[Sentama Lin]

You're just like me... I'm so accustomed to not cry, I want to cry but cannot when I really need it...

...the only time I can is if... it essentially explodes... until then... I have to deal with this buildup...  

[aretoo]

Hang in there, you two... and there's NOTHING wrong with a good cry. ^_^  

[Sentama Lin]

I know, aretoo... I help my friends with their cries all the time...

...I... just can't get myself to cry... I have to wait until my body can't take it anymore... it's... painful.  

[Indigo Project]

I don't cry. Hell, when my ex told me he was moving to Michigan, I didn't cry until he was gone. I just pressed my nails into my palms until my hands bled and cursed his parents under every other breath.  

[Sentama Lin]

Indigo... I know this sounds harsh... but... at least you felt love... at least for a little while...  

[aretoo]

I know exactly what you mean, actually... I had a nice little nervous breakdown in April when the guy I'm interested first started, um... "practicing" with another guy he knows... Had a nice, long (couple hours) crying session. Fortunately, I'm patient. ^_^  

[Indigo Project]

Sentama Lin

Indigo... I know this sounds harsh... but... at least you felt love... at least for a little while...

That? That wasn't love. That was lust, despiration, dependence, and borderline abuse, among other things. Why else do you think I flinch when a guy touches me?  

[Sentama Lin]

I think... I need to find someone to hug... I feel selfish for telling them that I'm sad because I don't have anyone - since they're dealing with it just fine... but... I don't know what else to do...

Edit: Indigo, I'm very sorry... I didn't know... really... I didn't.  

[Indigo Project]

Sentama Lin

Edit: Indigo, I'm very sorry... I didn't know... really... I didn't.

No need to apologize. You didn't know. Anyway, that's part of the reason I'm pretty sure I won't find anyone. I have serious issues now, even if they aren't always obvious.  

[Sentama Lin]

Dammit... all of my real life friends are busy right now... and none of the guys on my floor would understand...

I have nobody in real life close to me to hug... I'm alone...

I could talk to my hall director... he understands me... but... he's too busy with work... plus it's the weekend; his few days off...