⎾ MOROSIS ⏌

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Abel couldn't help but openly stare at the wound across Miguel's neck. He wasn't going to question him however unless he wanted to talk about it. Abel gave Miguel space while he went about making coffee. He walked into the living room area and took a seat on the couch. Abel could hear movement as Miguel went about making coffee as he had requested. He wasn't so sure if he needed it but it sounded better than water at the moment and he expected he would be awake for a while.

It wasn't long before Miguel joined him in the living room and took a seat on the couch as well. Abel had heard his comment and nodded. "No worries, thank you." He responded as he sat there. Abel wasn't in a rush after all he had just flown from Chicago to here and hadn't had a chance to stop.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Although he didn't feel like talking about it, he knew at some point he had to. Abel was likely going to question him about what happened between them and how he got the bruise on his neck. He simply hoped the jet lag would delay that. Jakob soon finished preparing the coffee and came into the living room. He took a seat beside the male and informed him how it would be ready soon. He nodded as he thanked and sat there quietly a moment. "So what made you decide to fly out here all of a sudden?" he asked, glancing back at him. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, it's just any other time I've tried to get you to come visit you always said you were busy." Even as he questioned the male, he was sure he could guess the reason. It was because of his tantrum. If he hadn't called him, he wouldn't have wasted his time. Jakob was pretty that was why he was here. What other reason could there be?

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Abel had his reasons for not visiting. He wanted Miguel to live his life the way he wanted. Abel knew Miguel seemed happier now that the past was behind him. However he made the mistake of allowing the past to cloud his judgment. He wasn't surprised as Miguel soon questioned him. Abel knew the answer was obvious. He reached out tracing his fingers lightly over Miguel's neck. "Because I was worried about you…" Abel replied softly as he watched Miguel. He knew that his feelings hadn't changed.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

In some ways he had been glad that Abel never visited. It was easier for him to forget all about that past life. But on the other hand, he missed him terribly. Which was stupid, they never really had anything to miss. They were friendly at best but could also go for weeks or even months without saying so much as "hello" via a simple text. After questioning the male, he was sure he knew the answer. Jakob sat quietly while Abel raised a hand to lightly brush his fingers over the marking. He felt a slight pain but didn't shy away from him. He was surprised by Abel's softness. Swallowing, Jakob nodded his head. "Sorry..." he said, glancing down at the space between them. "I should have just called you back." He felt guilty for dragging him out here, and for something so stupid. Looking back he had no idea what he had even been planning on saying to Abel. He just felt angry at him for allowing Kieran to come near him. He wanted someone to blame other than himself for what happened. Now, he didn't think he could even do that.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



True they had hardly gotten to know each other. Abel hadn't allowed it. Sure they talked but indeed they could go months without communication. He was feeling selfish by coming here as if taking care of Miguel was his responsibility. Abel reached out to trace the bruise on Miguel's neck. He watched as Miguel swallowed and nodded. Abel listened as Miguel apologized, soon dropping his head. He saw no need for the apology. It was his own fault for trusting his instincts. Abel moved his hand beneath Miguel's chin and pulled his head up so he would look at him. "Don't apologize, it's not your fault." He responded taking all the blame. Abel felt stupid for trusting his instincts.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

They both had their reasons to keep the other from knowing things. Jakob knew he certainly did. For too long he held on to his distrust of Abel, easier to think of him as a monster than a man. But every time he felt lost or abandoned, that monster saved him, taking him in when he needed it most. In over two years time not much had changed. Here he was, again in a bind and needing Abel to come pull him out of it. He felt guilty for relying on him so much. He thought by being back home it would have made him a little more independent. As he dropping his gaze, he felt the males' hand gently tug at his chin. Jakob met his gaze and listened as he was told exactly what he wanted to hear. He felt a twinge of emotion and honestly, he couldn't tell if wanted to kiss him or run away all over again. He didn't understand what he was feeling. Why couldn't he have felt like this when Kieran was here? Why did have to make everything so complicated and just...just be like Abel

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Abel was used to taking care of others. He had taken care of Kirean when they were younger. Abel couldn't help his need to help others within reason. He touched Miguel bringing his face up so he could look at him. Abel spoke but received no response. He didn't blame Miguel if he was angry at him. Abel released Miguel, looking at him he reminded himself while he never visited. He craved Miguel's intimacy too much. Abel had been selfish when he sought out Miguel their first time. He had only done it to prove that he could to Kirean. However the times after were no longer to prove a point only to himself.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

In the time that he had somewhat gotten to know Abel, he had always been there to take care of him. Whether it was out of the kindness of his own heart or he simply felt obligated to, he couldn't say. All the same he had been there when he needed him. When Abel touched him he felt guilty, he shouldn't be having these feelings for him. He wasn't angry at Abel, though he probably should have been. For briefest period he was and he wanted nothing more than to blame him for all that had happened this afternoon. Now he wanted nothing more than to be beside him, to feel his touch once more. When the males' hand dropped he felt disappointed but reminded himself that Abel wasn't his boyfriend. He wasn't anything in that matter. Behind him the coffee pot started to gurgle. Jakob quietly excused himself and moved back to the kitchen. He grabbed a navy blue mug from the mug tree on the counter and set it next to the steaming pot. "You still take it black, right?" he asked, glancing briefly over his shoulder. Turning back, he could feel his face starting to warm. He needed to pull himself together, this was just a friendly visit nothing more.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Touching Miguel, he didn't want to pull back. However he thought it best. Abel too knew Miguel wasn't his but that didn't keep him from having the same thoughts. He craved him from the very first hug as the door was opened. Abel though knew it was probably best to keep his distance. It had been almost three years and he still wanted him in every way. He hated himself for such thoughts. Abel didn't want to give himself hope. He too heard the coffee pot signal its end. Abel watched as Miguel excused himself.

Sitting there, he could hear Miguel preparing the coffee as he watched him from the couch. Abel heard Miguel question him. He found it amusing. "Yes, still black." Abel responded as he allowed himself to watch Miguel. He liked that Miguel still remembered how he took his coffee.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

He had no idea what this was between them. It wasn't love, that much he knew. Abel didn't love anyone. He wasn't even sure if he loved his own family. Jakob knew he wasn't in love with him either. He didn't know him enough to be in love with him. Then again he knew about as much of Kieran and had proclaimed loads of times how much he loved him and look how that turned out. Still, love or not he too craved something more than just a little touch. He still recalled the last kiss he gave him right before he left. He remembered how quiet Abel was and it felt like he had something to say. He wondered if he asked him about it now would he remember.

Standing in the kitchen, he grabbed a mug and asked him about the coffee. He nodded and busied himself with pouring the steaming, dark liquid. Setting the carafe back on the burner, he then picked up the mug and carefully carried it to the living room. "Here, be careful." he said, handing off the mug. Once it was taken he resumed his seat beside the man. He felt a bit nervous, like he was waiting for something to happen. He was probably the only one. Abel was just being nice to him, that was all.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Love was an abstract concept to him. He didn't understand love much less the feeling of it. Abel couldn't say he loved Miguel either. He did care for him however. Abel remembered their last kiss too. He wanted to drink in Miguel but he kept his hands mostly to himself. Abel remembered what he was thinking the last time he'd seen Miguel but he wasn't about to voice his thoughts.

It didn't take long before Miguel joined him back at the couch with cup in hand. Abel took the cup from him as he thanked him. He blew on the coffee lightly before taking a sip. Abel moved to set the coffee down on a side table. He returned his attention toward Miguel.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

He couldn't say that knowing how he felt that day would have changed anything. He'd been so focused on healing just enough that he could move. It never occurred to him that there might be something more than just a slight attraction. Since then he often thought about that last day together. About the things they had left unsaid and what might have been, if anything. As he prepared his coffee, he shook his head. No use thinking about it now. Abel was only here because he worried Kieran had done something heinous. The man could rest easy. Yes, he was a little bruised and broken hearted, but nothing serious. With the cup in hand, Jakob returned to the living room, and passed it off to Abel. He smiled lightly as he was thanked and watched the male sip at the steaming brew. It wasn't long the man turned to set down the mug and turned his attention back to him. "So," he started, feeling nervous once more. "Anything new or exciting going on back home?" It was a dumb question and probably one that didn't need answering. But it'd been so long since they talked face to face that he really didn't know what to say or how to act without being a bumbling fool.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



While he had come to check on him, to Abel he wasn't so sure it was just that. He had chosen to ignore his feelings. Abel though wasn't so sure he wanted to. He had missed the face to face communication with Miguel. Abel glanced toward Miguel who seemed nervous though he wasn't sure why. "Mm, same old same old, currently dealing with a new gang of drug dealers…Though nothing that can't be handled." He responded as he smiled at Miguel. "What about you anything new besides today?" Abel asked curiously though he was horrible at small talk.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Jakob liked to think that Abel's sudden visit might be more than just him feeling guilty. But he couldn't say for sure. It wasn't as though Abel had ever been very open with him about his feelings. The one time Jakob even jokingly suggested to him being his lover he recalled being choked out of anger. To be honest, Jakob didn't know what he wanted Abel to be to him. One day he was his friend, then the next they were back to mortal enemies, and then he was kissing his neck, and frankly, he felt it was time to sit down and just talk. He didn't know if Abel would be open to such a discussion. As he sat beside him, he felt a tad nervous as these thoughts buzzed around in his head.

He listened as the man vaguely described his work, like always only telling him what he needed to know. Jakob nodded slightly. He had to wonder if things were truly that simple. Especially since Abel and Kieran were over here at the moment. Wouldn't it be easy for someone to just move in and take over? He wanted to ask, but he also didn't want to ruin the mood. He watched as Abel smiled and turned his curiosity towards him. He didn't mind that Abel was just as bad at this as he was. In a way, it was comforting. "Hmm...I broke up with that guy I told you about. The one I'd been seeing last month. It didn't work out, he was kind of boring." he replied, smiling back at him. "Other than that it's been mostly waiting tables and catching up with my family." His life was never that exciting, but it definitely gotten more dull since moving here. Everything was so quiet compared to the states. In some ways it was good, but then others, he missed it.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Abel wasn't so sure about the idea of actually talking about their feelings. He would much rather not talk about it. Abel couldn't dwell on the what ifs of their relationship. Indeed he gave Miguel the vaguest truth on what was going on back home. He didn't see the need to drag Miguel into his problems. Abel soon turned the question onto Miguel. He listened as Miguel spoke of the guy he'd been dating. Abel found it amusing. "Boring, how so?" He asked curiously as he reached to grab his coffee. Abel took a sip before setting it back down.