⎾ MOROSIS ⏌

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Abel couldn't help but apologize. He knew he shouldn't be here either. Abel had been worried about Miguel though he wasn't sure if it was a good idea. He didn't want to question it anymore. Abel listened as Miguel spoke, though it wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear. He watched as Miguel smiled. Abel nodded in response as he sat back in his seat.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Whether he should or should not be here now was too late. If he wanted to leave again, Jakob wouldn't fault him for it. He knew how busy he was and that he probably had better things to do than take a tour of Dusseldorf. Jakob was only delaying him by asking for favors and wanting to spend time with him. It was selfish but he couldn't help himself. After Abel apologized, Jakob reassured him that it was fine. In return, Abel merely nodded and withdrew from him once more. It seemed that once again, he had said something wrong. "Are you okay?" he asked gently. "You seem like you're holding back." Jakob hoped it was okay to ask him this. He didn't want to upset Abel, but he also didn't want him to feel as though he couldn't talk to him. All night they'd been having this weird back and forth, and he didn't know what to make of it. One second they were flirty, then it was serious, then there was silence.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



It wasn't exactly easy to talk to Miguel face to face. He had rushed here thinking the worst and yet did it matter. Abel had plenty of things to take care of at home and yet he was hardly eager to return. He had been happy to see Miguel though he was holding back. Abel didn't want to assume that Miguel held anything for him seeing as his thoughts were held up on Kirean. He wasn't the best at expressing his feelings. Abel wasn't surprised by Miguel's question. It was reasonable though he wasn't thrilled by it. He sighed mostly to himself. "I missed you…" Abel said softly, almost inaudible.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

He had absolutely no club what was going through Abel's head right now. He always knew him to be reserved and a little standoffish. But he also had his moments where he could be quite warm and gentle. Looking at him, he wasn't sure which side of himself he was attempting to present. But whichever side it was, Abel seemed to be holding back. Proceeding cautiously, Jakob asked him about it. He wasn't really expecting an honest answer at this point, just a little nod of the head or an okay would be enough. He watched the man sigh and seem to compose himself. When he spoke, his voice was barely there. But he heard it all the same. Jakob felt his face start to burn crimson, he hadn't expected Abel to say that. "I missed you, too." he said, looking away. Of course he missed him, how could he not. Abel had been more than just a friend to him the last few months before they parted. And it was selfish of him to thinking of someone else after all that he had done. Even now, he come specifically to check up on him. He couldn't repay him for any of it.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Abel had many emotions and only few saw the diverse side. He didn't express his feelings especially knowing they weren't always reciprocated. Abel also wasn't the dating type. He however had enjoyed his time with Miguel and had allowed himself to grow close to him before he left. Abel had regretted it but never acted on it. He couldn't make promises nor was he sure what he wanted. Abel spoke though not loudly. He watched as Miguel's cheeks turned crimson. Abel listened as Miguel spoke, returning his words but soon looked away. He was curious as he sat there not sure if the words held the same meaning. Abel didn't want to question it though just remained silent.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Jakob couldn't pinpoint when in time he had started to like Abel. He supposed it was some time after he came to rescue him and before he had admitted liking. He recalled how much it annoyed Kieran that he had feelings for both men. Jakob had done his best to remain loyal to his boyfriend, but still found himself sneaking hugs or kisses from the man. Even going so far as to sleep with him when he was almost positive things were over between Kieran and himself. After Kieran left him and coming to live with Abel, those feelings only seemed to intensify. Jakob had never said anything because he knew that eventually he would leaving. Not only that, he'd been told time and again that they could never date so what would be the point.

Sitting across from Abel, he felt his eyes on him as he echoed his words. His cheeks burned and he didn't know what to do. If he told him now that he still had those feelings, would Abel believe him? He didn't think so. Not after asking about Kieran all night. Still, he couldn't leave well enough alone. "What does that mean for you?" he asked, glancing back towards him. Jakob couldn't help pushing a little he needed to know in what way Abel missed him. Did he mean as a person, someone to ********? He didn't know.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



While Abel enjoyed the sex, it wasn't just about the sex. He had liked talking with Miguel and spending time with him. Abel knew Miguel only sought out his attention when he and Kirean fell on hard times. However he had grown to like his company. He allowed the silence to spread between them once again. Abel watched as Miguel soon glanced toward him and spoke, questioning him. He understood the question but allowed himself to play dumb. "In regards to what?" Abel asked not sure what the question meant or what Miguel wanted to know or hear.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

As much as he would like to hear that Abel felt something outside of their occasional affair, he didn't have his hopes high. He'd told more than once that he didn't date and he didn't care for others, so why should he be any different. Still, he kept hoping that it wasn't just his imagination. That he wasn't fooling himself when Abel's hand sought out his own or the way his hand would linger as it brushed back his hair. Abel could have let him figure own s**t out and die on the street plenty of times but he didn't. That had to be more than him just choosing to do the right thing, right? Looking towards the man, he attempted to get an answer from him but was only questioned in return. Swallowing his feelings, Jakob shook his head. "Nevermind." he said with a forced smile. "It was a dumb question. I'm sorry for asking." Turning his gaze back to his food, Jakob picked up what was left of his burger to finish eating. However, his throat felt so tight he wasn't even sure he could swallow. In order to not give himself away, Jakob took a bite anyway, the burger might as well have been sand.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



As Abel questioned Miguel, it seemed it wasn't the answer he was looking for. He watched as Miguel shook his head and disregarded his question. Abel listened as Miguel continued to push aside the question and soon picked up his forgotten burger. He didn't want to argue with Miguel so he didn't push it. Abel watched as Miguel continued to force his burger in his mouth to avoid the question. He noticed their waitress arriving with his milkshake. The waitress set it before them along with their check. Abel pulled his milkshake closer, taking a sip of it as he glanced around the restaurant letting the awareness settle.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

He didn't want to play these kind of games right now. Not when he was being so serious with his question. Jakob quickly dismissed it and returned his attention to his food. He was hurt by Abel's words, but also a mad at himself for his own selfishness. It wasn't fair. He couldn't be wanting the affections of one man while worrying about the feelings of another. As he was unable to face him, Jakob forced himself to eat. In all honesty, it was a terrible decision but he didn't want to be faced with another question he wasn't prepared to answer. He made himself chew his food as their waitress soon returned to the table with Abel's chocolate shake as well as the check. Jakob nodded his thanks and pulled it closer to him. He knew he couldn't eat much more of this. He would likely vomit if he forced down another bite. Looking over the slip of paper, between their two meals, drinks, and Abel's milkshake, it was a little expensive, but not too bad. Jakob set the check aside and pulled his drink closer. "Did you want to take that back with you?" he asked.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Abel too was not in the mood for games. He wasn't stupid. Abel knew why Miguel was asking all those questions about Kirean. He still cared about him even if he wouldn't admit it himself. Abel didn't blame Miguel after all he had treated him horribly and wasn't likely to be reassuring. As he sipped on his milkshake, he watched as Miguel grabbed the check to look it over. He listened as Miguel soon questioned him. "I can, if you're done." Abel responded, figuring Miguel likely had enough of him. He didn't have a hotel room but he could possibly find some accommodation for the rest of his stay.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

He didn't want these feelings for Kieran, he thought he had gotten over him. But, seeing him today brought back so much. He knew that he was bad for him, he had physically harmed him and probably would have done worse if he hadn't gotten him to leave. Yet his heart ached for him, the same way it ached when Abel had shown up outside his apartment. It still ached even now as they sat across from one another. Jakob didn't mean to hurt Abel, but it seemed that he was doing that anyway. After looking over the check, he questioned the man. It seemed as though they had both eaten their fill, however, Abel's response made him think overwise. "If you're still eating, by all means" he replied, motioning towards the plate. The burger was out, but Jakob could try to eat a few more fries. He wasn't trying to rush the man nor did he want him to leave him tonight.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Abel was no longer interested in his hamburger. He was content with his milkshake which was in a large Styrofoam cup. Abel could see Miguel was finished though was just being polite. He shook his head as Miguel spoke and gestured. "No, thank you though. " Abel responded as he continued to sip on his milkshake.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

He didn't mean to sound as though he was trying to get rid of Abel. If anything, he wanted him to stay. But he understood if Abel wanted to go. He couldn't force him to hang around, after all, he had things to do, an angry person to wrangle home. He had taken up enough of his time by now. They sat in awkward silence and Jakob offered to allow Abel more time to eat. The man soon responded that he was done all while sipping on his shake. Nodding, Jakob took out his wallet and then his card. He glanced around and saw their waitress loitering nearby. Waving towards her, she perked up and walked over. "How was everything? Do we need any to go boxes?" she asked politely. "It was fine, thanks. No boxes." he replied. Handing over the slip and card, she smiled and gathered their half-eaten plates. "I'll be right back." Jakob sat back while she went towards the employees area. He took a few last sips of his drink while the waitress took care of the check. He wondered if Abel was just going to leave him after they left. He hoped not, but the only thing really keeping him at his place was his luggage. Jakob imagined that was a small sacrifice in order to be alone for the rest of the night.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Abel didn't want to leave Miguel tonight either. He wasn't thrilled by how the night's events had turned out. Abel wasn't upset with Miguel but he wasn't happy. He preferred not to start an argument with Miguel. Abel watched as Miguel took out his card and caught the waitress's attention. He continued to sip on his milkshake while the waitress came over to take Miguel's card and gather the plates. Abel listened as they conversed before she left to take care of the bill. He remained silent while he waited. Abel tried not to drink his milkshake too quickly or his head would hurt from the cold.