Abuse and life

[La La Leprosy]

Uh....wow. That's, awful. Sorry that you have such a harsh life.
Um...lets see, what I recommend is that you start to try and have less of a pessimistic view on life. If you set higher goals then you might be more determined to change your ways (as it so seems you wish to do).
Another thing, I notice you say you don't feel like you have a lot of time to do things for yourself; never think that. EVER. No matter what, theres always time for yourself. As for your shyness/personality issue, don't worry about it. In time you will become more comfortable and break out of your shell more. Having close friends is step one to that.

Yeah, so, there's my Susie advice column.  

[Skorndrick]

@Sahihen- After the divorce, Iwent and got counseling, and I thought it was boring. She didn't really get me at all...I jsut sat and made little figures out of clay. THat was fun, though ,so...

@Chex- Ionly draw the characters of my stories nad some random things, but my mind places thing in there, so I jsut draw what I see in my mind.

@Moofasa- ah, looks like someone finally understands me, and it's someone I haven't seen in a while. Interesting...but yes, that's almost exactly how I feel. And the counseling thing- at school after the divorce, I joined a school group called Banana Splits. It was about divorce and kids, and I thought it sucked. We were supposed to make family crests, and with little quote things...mine was "E pluribus unum", out of many, one, meaning that my family was just one suffering from divorce and stuff, and the rest of the group misunderstood me and got mad. Sucks stare

spiif- yup. Sort of...I never said I have pessimistic veiw of life {though once or twice I've actually thought it would be interestign to commit suicide, but then I thought about all the people who would miss me and thought, I can't do that to them} but other than that yeah...whatev...  

[sahihen]

A psych is just a normal human being with there own expierences to help the help others. Not everyone will have answers or be able to help you out.
It can be a tedious and may seem like no one will be able to help but the search for the right psych can take a while.
You can't really teach a psych how to help someone in a particular situation if they haven't expirenced it in some way themselves.

I know the feeling of being misunderstood well from the diabetic social worker who thought I was supressing my feelings about my diabetes when really I was 100% okay with having it. Scratch that I hated most of the child and adolestant diabetes education staff, they talked down to me all the time and thought I had an eating disorder... rolleyes  

[Trish the Stalker]

I had an abusive boyfriend and I stayed with him for about a year and a half. I still trust men because I know that he was one a*****e in a thousand, and now I have a boyfriend who is patient with the quirks I've developed because I was in such a horrible situation.

What you have to do, as terrifying as it is, when something makes you flinch tell yourself that it's not going to hurt you. When you have something to say, bite the bullet and say it. Nothing bad is going to happen to you because of it, as much as it feels like something will. You do know how you feel and why you feel that way. Now you need to know that you shouldn't feel that way.

Once you start telling yourself you have no reason to be afraid you'll stop being afraid. And it's hard. Really hard. But if you want to get better then do it.

You will also have to find friends who you really can talk to about it, even if they are good friends if you can't talk to anyone about it then it will not help you out one bit.

And do try to talk to the guidance counsellor. Tell the counsellor that you just need to talk... and it can take as little or as much time as you need each day. I'm sure you can spare an extra 15 minutes out of your day once or twice a week.

-La Belle Isolde-

 

[Skorndrick]

Huh...interesting...  

[Skorndrick]

I have a question: why is it my brother doesn't remeber anything? He thinks my dad is perfect, amd it annoys the heck out of me because then he acts liek how my dad does and yells and hollers and hits my little brother and makesm e and him both get really upset....  

[Sanzoskitsune]

It's called a defense mechanism Blu, if things are really so bad sometimes people will act like it doesn't happen or block it out. Usually because they can't deal with reality.  

[Skorndrick]

Sanzo, I realize that he has blocked out some of those memories, but it doesn't give him the right to hit a seven year old little boy!  

[Sanzoskitsune]

I didn't say it did, first of all. Second of all you said nothing about that in your first post. Him hitting the boy, while not excusable or defensible it is probably a way for him to act out. If he's not dealing with what's going on at home then he'll deal with it the best way he knows how on his own. It may not be the best but if it works for him it works for him. Unless you get him help, he's going to continue to do these kinds of actions.  

[Skorndrick]

I didn't want anyone to think it's my fault.

Screw it. I'll jsut have my parents send him to boot camp... stare  

[Sanzoskitsune]

Why would anyone blame you for his actions? You're not the one raising him your parents are. With that said, you can't make your parents send your brother to boot camp, and for someone who's going through the same abuse you're not exactly being very understanding.  

[Skorndrick]

People would blame me because he likes to lie and say we prompted him to do it. It sucks. He never got the smae abuse I did, Sanxo. He was never thrown across a rom and into a highchair. nothing like that ever happened to him. He was asleep ahlf the time anyway. I just want him to stop being such a b*****d and to be nice for once.  

[Sentama Lin]

Have you tried telling him that what he's doing to you is hurtful?  

[Sanzoskitsune]

If that's the case then confront him about the way he's acting Blu, tell him you don't appreciate it and that he should respect you as his sister if nothing else. At least as a human being and not be a brat. Either that or telling him to leave you alone and you'll leave him alone.  

[Trish the Stalker]

vrgnBlu

People would blame me because he likes to lie and say we prompted him to do it. It sucks. He never got the smae abuse I did, Sanxo. He was never thrown across a rom and into a highchair. nothing like that ever happened to him. He was asleep ahlf the time anyway. I just want him to stop being such a b*****d and to be nice for once.

Just because you want something doesn't mean you always get it. You have to deal with the hand you're dealt. My mom, while not abusive, never really gets emotionally connected with me and hasn't since my dad left. She sees too much of my dad in me or something so I get the brunt of her verbal abuse while my brothers get off scott free. Is it fair? No. But will my mom suddenly start treating me fairly? No. Learn to be safe, learn that he's probably not going to ever be a nice and loving brother but he will need your support. Either that or when you turn 18 cut him out of your life and say goodbye to another abusive man. BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM CHANGE JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT HIM TO, JUST BECAUSE YOU LOVE HIM, OR JUST BECAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR. BECAUSE LIFE ISN'T FAIR.

The reason he doesn't remember, by the way, is because in a child's eyes a parent is either good or evil, not both. He chose to block out the bad things, you chose to block out the good. Both are coping mechanisms, both are legitimate responses to your dad's horrible behaviour. He can either seek help or end up being the same kind of person. It's not your job to fix it.

-La Belle Isolde-