RAFFLE TIME RAFFLE TIME ERRYBODY JOIN NOW!

[reni_goldenstar]

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," so she turned around and went home.
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25

why do I keep choosing odd #s?  

[reni_goldenstar]

Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she ran away from home, her parents called the dog catcher.
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48  

[reni_goldenstar]

Yo' Mama is so fat, she couldn't identify a picture of her feet.
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...Not sure I could either. Feet aren't really things I look at a lot. Socks!

22  

[reni_goldenstar]

Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went skydiving, she caused an eclipse
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16  

[reni_goldenstar]

Yo' Mama is so fat, when she left her home country, the population dropped by 10%.
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6  

[reni_goldenstar]

Yo' Mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can down the street, and when I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Moving."
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14  

[reni_goldenstar]

Q: Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan?
A: Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought that she had stopped aging.
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...this works better for football

#4  

[reni_goldenstar]

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A: A stick.
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That got bent

#24  

[reni_goldenstar]

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: He heard the ref was blowing fowls
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34  

[reni_goldenstar]

Wilfred had just learned his ABCs and was very scared of reciting them in front of his class. He stood in front of the class trembling and began.
"A B C D E F G H I J L K M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z."
His teacher said, "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P?
He replied, "It's running down my leg."
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5  

[reni_goldenstar]

Q: Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or his baby?
A:The baby -- he's a little Bigger.
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15  

[reni_goldenstar]

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''
The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''
''What about the green one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''
''What about the red one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''
The man says, ''What does HE do?''
The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''
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45  

[reni_goldenstar]

Children in the backseat can cause accidents.
Accidents in the backseat can cause children.
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26  

[reni_goldenstar]

A little girl and her mother are at chuch when the little girl starts to feel sick. Her mother tells her to go throw up in the bushes behind the church.
When the little girl returns, her mother asks her if she threw up.
"Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way around the back. There was a box near the front door that said 'For the Sick.'"
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Churches have bathrooms, you know

36  

[reni_goldenstar]

Q: Why was the Egyptian boy confused?
A: His daddy was really a mummy.
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46