⎾ MOROSIS ⏌

[xDarkWinterx]

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Pulling out of Miguel, Kirean released him. He shifted giving him space as Miguel moved to lie down on the bed. Kirean moved to grab a tissue off the nightstand and wiped his hand off. He tossed the tissue in the trash can near the bed. Kirean moved to lie down on the bed beside Miguel. He moved close to him as he ran a hand over his side. Kirean watched Miguel as they lay there.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

He was grateful for the space that was given to him. Shifting on the bed, Jakob moved to go lay down while Kieran tended to his own needs. Staring up at the ceiling, his heart hammered in his chest. He was almost in disbelief that any of this had just happened. One minute he felt as though he were saying a permanent goodbye to Kieran, then the next they were ******** like animals. He didn't want to make sense of it. Instead, he watched as Kieran came closer and laid beside him. He thought of telling him how much he loved him, but felt it a little redundant given how many times he had already said it. Turning towards the male, he curled into him and simply relaxed as he slowly came down from his high.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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Love. Kirean didn't deny he loved Miguel however would it hold them together. He wasn't sure what he wanted or if he could give Miguel what he wanted. Kirean had made no promises yet. He knew they needed to talk more but he hardly wanted to go through that. Kirean watched as Miguel shifted on the bed and moved closer toward him. He smiled at Miguel as he leaned forward to kiss his shoulder. ”You okay?” Kirean asked, teasing Miguel as he held onto him.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

He didn't want to think about if love was enough. He knew in a lot of cases it didn't matter how much you loved a person, it was never meant to be. Maybe he was naïve or just pretending to be, but he didn't want to think that was the case between himself and Kieran. Because admitting he was wrong for him would mean having to let him go all over again. Jakob wasn't sure he could take anymore heartache today. As Kieran laid beside him, he moved closer to him. He soon felt the soft kiss to his shoulder and heard his teasing tone. Glancing up, he smiled back at Kieran. "Mhm, just a little tired." he replied. Lying there he felt as though he were floating, like he could easily drift off for a spell. "And what about you? Are you okay?" he asked.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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Kirean didn't know what he wanted. He hardly thought moving to Germany would be in his best interest. Kirean didn't want to leave Miguel though. He was mostly scared of the idea of uprooting himself but that didn't change either. Kirean could likely overcome the fear. He worried about providing for Miguel. Kirean found himself thinking too far ahead.

He just wanted to live in the moment. Kirean couldn't help but tease Miguel as he laid beside him. He listened as Miguel spoke. Kirean wasn't surprised after all Miguel had obviously used his body a lot today. He watched Miguel as he questioned him in return. Kirean found it amusing. ”I'm fine.” He responded with half truth. Kirean too hardly believed the account in the last twenty-four hours.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

As much as he would like it, he couldn't ask Kieran to move just for him. Not right now anyway. With the way things were he wasn't even sure they could make it to next week without arguing. Not only that, but it wasn't fair for Kieran to just have to settle in Germany the way he had to settle in the states. Things were hard enough without needing to worry about immigration, making a living, or learning the language. All of those were things that could take time and be prepared for rather than jumping right in. Perhaps, if in another six months or a year Kieran was still feeling like coming over they could figure out their options from there.

Laying there Jakob didn't mind it as he was teased. It was obvious what he had been doing lately and even more with whom. After so much activity in such a short time free he found himself feeling tired and like he could use a nap. He didn't even want to think about how he was going to get back home, or what to say if Abel was there waiting for him. Looking up at Kieran, he questioned him in return and listened as he spoke. He didn't think much about his response and smiled as he leaned up to kiss him.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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Kirean wasn't surprised if Miguel was tired. He could only imagine how his body felt. Kirean watched Miguel as they lay there. He was hardly tired himself. Kirean had slept most of the night and well into the morning after having drowned himself in the mini bar. He watched as Miguel moved closer. Kirean returned the kiss as he lay there. He moved, running his hand over Miguel's waist as he held onto him.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Tired as he was he knew he couldn't go to sleep just yet. At some point he was going to need to go back home, check on Abel, and prepare for work tomorrow. He didn't want to think about those things. But now that they were finished he found it difficult to make his brain be quiet. It was full of all his responsibilities, the things that were said, and the things still needed to be said. When he looked at Kieran, although he was still fearful for their future, he felt a bit calmer. Leaning up, Jakob pressed a kiss to his lips. He felt it returned to him as Kieran moved his hand over his waist. Pulling back, he glanced between them. The scar he bore had long since healed, but he wasn't used to others touching it so much.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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At the moment Kirean didn't have future plans. He was only supposed to be in Germany for a week. Kirean had been sent here under false pretenses. He had been mad at Abel for sending him here. Kirean was still unsure how he felt. He was happy to see Miguel but also mad at the same time. Even with the apologies, he still didn't feel on the same level.

Kissing Miguel, he felt him return it. Kirean couldn't help but touch Miguel. He ran a hand down over his side as he lay beside him. Kirean soon felt Miguel pull away. He watched with curiosity as Miguel looked down between them. Kirean pulled his hand away, ”What's wrong?” He asked not understanding and felt as if he did something wrong.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

He understood if Kieran was still angry. Not just at him, but with Abel too. In all honesty, he felt he ought be at least a little angry with Abel. Seeing as he'd never told Abel where he lived or worked, yet somehow he'd found all that out. And to send Kieran here without even asking him. Jakob was just as confused about all of this. He didn't know where he stood with Kieran or how things might go for them from here. There was still so much left unsaid and only so much he could apologize for without it feeling redundant.

Jakob didn't mind the kissing or even the touching for that matter. To be honest he welcomed it. He had feared that when they were done, Kieran might not anything more to do with him. He knew normally he wasn't so cruel, it was just anxiety of what could happen. As he felt the males fingers graze across his skin, he pulled back, feeling as though something had shocked him. Jakob looked down at the space between them and soon heard the male speak. He briefly shook his head. "Phantomschmerz" he said in German, forgetting that Kieran wouldn't understand him. Looking back up, he smiled sheepishly before switching back to English. "It's like...sometimes it feels like I still have stitches and it's weird. Even though it's supposed to be healed." he explained. Jakob didn't expect Kieran to understand, but at least he wasn't avoiding the question.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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Questioning Miguel, he pulled away from him. Kirean knew something was wrong but wasn't sure if Miguel would tell him. He heard Miguel speak though didn't understand. Kirean knew it was German but still hadn't learned the language in the time they were apart. He watched Miguel as he seemed to remember he didn't understand him and also wasn't Abel who could. Kirean listened as Miguel soon explained in English. He didn't really understand having never sustained an eexternal wound so bad before.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

It wasn't surprising that Kieran didn't understand him. He imagined that Abel hadn't given him much notice about the trip before shipping him off. Still, when he spoke his native tongue came out. When he realized his mistake, Jakob switched back to English so he could better explain himself. He wasn't sure that Kieran still understood what he was getting at. Looking at him, he had some scars, but nothing as big or grotesque as the one Jakob had. "Look, I'm fine, really." he said reassuringly. "It just does that sometimes."

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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The idea of learning a new language didn't thrill him. Kirean also had no desire to learn one. He also didn't understand why Miguel had chosen Germany of all places though family made sense. Kirean knew Miguel had family but hardly talked about them. That was one of the things he never understood. Miguel never talked about himself. In fact, he always felt like a stranger to him. With questions asked, they remained unanswered. Even now, he doubted Miguel would answer them.

Kirean wasn't bothered by the scars. They came with the territory of the job. He had scars but nothing compared. Kirean didn't understand seeing that the scar was old. He listened as Miguel spoke. ”Was it worth it?” Kirean questioned as he reached out to trace the scar again.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Germany had always been his first home. It was where he was born, where he was raised. Although he held no ill feelings towards his fathers' home country, he sometimes found it difficult to adjust. Not just with the language or the people, but the culture as well as the weather. Jakob found it easier to get along with his mother and her side of the family. Whereas with the other side he sometimes felt like a burden. Even though at the time the pregnancy was wanted, as he got older he got the impression that it was completely the opposite. Perhaps his father hadn't been so ready to be a father. As for not talking about himself, he didn't think he was any different than Abel or Kieran. When asked, he would tell them what they wanted to know with no hesitation. Anything more just felt like he was oversharing or being annoying, and he didn't want that.

As he laid there, Jakob went on to reassure him. He didn't want Kieran worrying over something so miniscule. He was probably feeling self-conscious, it was natural. Lowering his gaze again, he watched as Kieran reached out towards him to trace the scar with his fingers. Hearing him speak, he was quiet a moment. He didn't know how to answer him without making him angry or upset. But he knew that ignoring him would have the same affect. "Maybe," he answered softly. "It got me out of that life, so there's that." Raising his eyes, he studied the male carefully.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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While he knew he was hardly an open book himself, he felt Miguel knew him better than he knew the other. Kirean wished Miguel would have been oversharing at least then he'd feel more comfortable. They barely knew each other beyond sex. He wasn't even sure if they would be happy if they actually had spent more time together than actually ********. Kirean felt Abel knew more about Miguel than he did. He was jealous in that aspect but wasn't sure if it was because of him or if his paranoia that Abel was better was the truth.

Questioning Miguel, he reached out and touched him. Kirean saw nothing ugly about the scar. It was just one more added feature. He couldn't help the question, it made him curious. Kirean watched Miguel as he lay there quietly. Indeed the idea of not answering the question would annoy him. It was a feature that Miguel drew to that he didn't like. He had been used to it but it usually brought out the arguments between them. Kirean waited trying to be patient to see if Miguel would answer. When he finally did, he was left with more questions. ”Are you happy then, with this new life of yours?” He asked almost cautiously unsure if he'd like the answer he would be given.