⎾ MOROSIS ⏌

[xDarkWinterx]

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Kirean had no point, just conversation. They didn't have to talk. He could easily sit in silence until the both of them got bored and Miguel left. Kirean then couldn't promise to stay or see him again. He wasn't sure what he wanted in life himself. Kirean was merely living not appreciating life.

Sitting beside Miguel, he found it amusing he saw himself as old. Between the two of them, he was older though hardly took care in it. He questioned Miguel trying to understand his life better. Kirean didn't know what Miguel expected of him. He didn't want lies from Migue either.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Jakob didn't mind talking about his life since returning to Germany. It beat sitting in silence and he wasn't exactly ready to go home just yet, even though he needed to. He continued to comment on his work, vaguely telling him about the different jobs he'd taken through the years. It wasn't a lot but it was enough to keep him afloat. Unlike the states, servers were paid a little more fairly so he didn't have to worry too much. On top of his hourly wage he was also able to keep any tips he collected, which was nice. When Jakob finished speaking, he turned to look at Kieran, curious about his own life.

"Can I ask you a few questions?" he started. He wasn't sure if he was allowed to know about Kieran's life. Even though he left first, it almost felt wrong. Like it was privileged information that he didn't have access to. Jakob probably overthinking, as usual, but he didn't want to assume anything. Just because they had sex didn't mean he was suddenly on Kieran's good side.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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Miguel was free to question him though he had no promise to be truthful or even answer them. He sat in silence having no more questions on his mind. Kirean hadn't asked the tough questions but figured he didn't want to know right now. He wasn't surprised as Miguel soon spoke, asking to turn the conversation toward himself. Kirean looked down at Miguel, ”Sure, go ahead.” He responded, curious to know what Miguel's thoughts were. Kirean figured the conversation could only go two ways if it was to work.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Jakob had hoped in being able to ask questions that Kieran would show him the same courtesy. Whether he believed him or not, Jakob had been honest with him. It was only fair that Kieran be honest with him as well. However, he understood that Kieran still held a lot of animosity towards him and his past actions. It was probably something he would never forgive and he would just have to accept that. When the male said nothing, he didn't allow the silence between them last for long. Looking up at him, he watched as Kieran turned his head to look down at him, and allowed him to proceed. All at once his head flood with the questions that had long gone unanswered, the things he wanted to know about him. "After you left, where did you go?" he asked, starting with the most pressing question of all. It was something he'd been dying to know. A question even Abel had not or perhaps would not tell him the answer to.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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Being questioned didn't bother him. However the questions did. He could only guess what Miguel was thinking. Kirean had his own thoughts as well after all having asked a few. He listened as Miguel soon questioned him. Kirean found it amusing of all the questions to ask. ”New York.” He responded as he watched Miguel. Kirean didn't have an explanation if Miguel wanted one.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Thinking about his questions it was hard to decide on just one. He didn't know how many Kieran would allow him to ask before cutting him off. So he wanted to make sure his most pressing questions would answered first, on the assumption he would answer them at all. Of them all was probably the most obvious one. To this day he had no idea where Kieran had gone, even Abel didn't seem to know. Or if he did, he never told him. After speaking, he saw nothing funny about his question. Jakob was serious. He watched as Kieran answered simply. He wasn't expecting a lot of details, but a little more would have been nice. "How long were you there?" he asked, pressing for more information.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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Indeed Abel hadn't known where he truly went. He hadn't kept in contact with him. Kirean wanted to be alone after leaving the hotel. He had been angry and it had been obvious he still had been upon seeing Miguel last night. Kirean hardly felt as if Miguel was in his good graces. He was still angry but had tried pushing past it. Kirean knew his anger would get him nowhere at the moment. He had no details for Miguel after all he saw no reason to. Kirean heard Miguel question him again. ”I was there up until six months ago.” He responded, as he shifted slightly in the bed.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

He understood now that Kieran had been angry and wanted to be alone. Despite that, he couldn't stop himself from wanting to know. Where he had been, what he had done, and how long he was there. The problem was he didn't know if Kieran was going to answer him. He didn't know where he currently stood with him. He knew they were nowhere near perfect, and he probably wasn't over previous arguments either. But at least he was trying. Jakob questioned him again, hoping for more answers. When the male replied, he was surprised that he had stayed up there so long. Jakob nodded, accepting the answer while Kieran shifted next to him. "Did you at least have any fun while you were there? See any sights?" he continued, keeping his question light. He doubted Kieran bothered with anything touristy, but perhaps he might find some humor in the question.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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Kirean had been running from his anger among other things. He couldn't make Miguel happy even then. Kirean wasn't going to push the subject. He'd gotten nowhere then and probably would get nowhere now. Kirean understood Miguel had been trying to protect them but even then had tried and failed. Out of the three of them, Kirean was the only one who hadn't been physically hurt. He could have forced the issue then, made Miguel leave with him but knew it probably wouldn't have worked out either way.

Trying not to dwell on the past of what ifs, he waited for Miguel to question him. Kirean didn't promise to answer truthfully or even nicely. He listened as Miguel questioned him about his trip. Kirean found it amusing. ”Sure of course.” He responded sarcastically to the question. Kirean didn't need Miguel nicesties. He wanted to truly know what was on his mind.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Jakob was in denial that he was ever unhappy with Kieran. He was aware that they had their issues and a lot of fights, sometimes about petty things. But he wanted to believe that there was still some good, something to be salvaged. He didn’t want to think that it was all for nothing. And he certainly didn't want to end on the note that they just couldn't come to an agreement about the past. The more they spoke the more Jakob tried to understand Kieran. He didn’t know if he could ever completely comprehend his feelings. He still thought it was right to hold him back from the fight, to not let him get hurt. Why did they all need matching scars from Cornelius or one of his henchmen?

He didn't know how things might have gone had Kieran taken him away with him. Only a few things came to mind; for one he probably would not have ever had that time living with Abel. And for another, he likely wouldn't have the scar on his side. But as for their relationship, he too wondered how it would have panned out. Would they have been happy, or would they just find something new to bicker about and end it all over again? Lying there, Jakob attempted to probe deeper into the males' life, wanting know what all he had missed. However, it seemed Kieran had no interest in letting him in. As he questioned him again, he heard the sarcasm in his tone and smiled softly to himself. "I've never actually been to New York, so you'll have to tell me about it later." he replied. Pushing against the bed, Jakob moved to sit on the side with one leg drawn towards him while the other hung over. "For now, tell me about when you came back."

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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While it was on his mind they would never know how things would have been different if he stayed or if they ran away. It was too late now, he tried not to think about it. There was no use arguing about it or talking about it. He had regrets but in the end he wasn't so sure if he would have done things differently.

To him the question was irrelevant. Kirean didn't find his travels to New York all that interesting. He had spent time there exploring, sure, among other things. Kirean had however got caught up in a mess before leaving. He had allowed himself an indulgence.

Watching Miguel, he heard him talk. Kirean found this conversation direction pointless. He didn't understand Miguel's interest. Kirean watched as Miguel shifted beside him on the bed. He heard him question him again. ”Why?... What does it matter?” Kirean asked, uncertain of where the conversation was going.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Jakob tried and failed again to get Kieran to open up to him. It seemed that no matter what he said, the man wasn't interested in anything he had to say. He felt as though he were talking at him rather than to him. Still, he persisted. Jakob did his best not to show his defeat when Kieran refused to go into detail about his life in New York. Instead, he tried another angle, this time trying to figure out what it was like when he came home.

Shifting on the bed, he stared down space between his legs while he questioned him. He didn't care if Kieran thought his questions were pointless. He was trying, that was more than could be said for Kieran. When the man spoke again, he shook his head. "It doesn't, I guess." he said. Pushing off the bed, he moved to stand. "I'm going to take a shower, join me if you wish." Leaving the invitation up in the air, Jakob moved across the room, and flipped on the lights as he entered the bathroom. He padded over to shower and reached in, twisting the knobs, and letting the water warm up. He then grabbed a towel and wash cloth for himself. He thought about getting one for Kieran, but wasn't sure if he be joining him.

As he set the items on the counter, he glanced at himself in the mirror. What he saw made him to cry even more. His hair was a mess, his skin was red and blotchy, as well as covered in marks, and he looked as though he hadn't slept in a week. What was he even doing here? Swallowing hard, he looked away from his reflection and took a moment to collect himself.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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Kirean didn't understand why Miguel wanted to know about him living in New York. He'd gone there out of anger not enjoyment. Kirean though eventually had found entertainment in sex and death. He also hardly thought he wanted to know about such things. Kirean hadn't exactly stayed faithful or free from sin. He didn't want to explain himself either.

Listening to Miguel, he closed himself off as usual. Kirean questioned Miguel, watching as he shook his head. He wasn't surprised as Miguel got off the bed and started toward the bathroom. Kirean heard the offer though he hardly thought Miguel really wanted him to join him. He stood from the bed to find his clothes. Kirean found them on the ground. He went about gathering Miguel's clothes too and setting them on the bed. Kirean slipped on his boxers as he sat back on the bed.

He knew he was only making things worse. Kirean didn't know how to make it better. He was used to not talking. Kirean wished he could drown himself in alcohol but that wasn't a solution. He sighed as he sat there. Kirean knew Miguel had to leave eventually but he wished he didn't. He had less than a week to be here, he wasn't sure if a week was long enough either.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

He didn’t expect Kieran to have had a happy life while he was away. Especially given his reasons for leaving in the first place. But was it so hard for him to say more than a couple of words on the matter. He wasn’t asking for a day to day recollection, just something more than the fact that he went to New York. Jakob didn’t care if he was unfaithful or did anything bad, he would just be a hypocrite if he did. As Jakob tried once more for a conversation, he was again met with a wall. This was going nowhere. If Kieran didn’t want to talk, he didn’t want to keep trying.

Pushing himself from the bed, Jakob offered they get cleaned up. He didn’t know if Kieran would take the offer, but it was there if he did. Jakob soon made his way into the bathroom and stood before the mirror. He looked horrible and felt like he was wasting his time. Despite Kieran’s earlier words, it didn’t feel like he was wanted here at all. Before Jakob could convince himself that he was only brought here for a ******** he moved away from the mirror.

Stepping into the shower, he closed the door behind him before dipping his head beneath the spray. He wanted to cry, or scream. He felt unwanted not only that, but he was positive he was only making matters worse for them. Closing his eyes, he wrapped his arms around himself as a few stray tears rolled down his cheeks. He quickly swiped them away. If Kieran were to join him, he didn’t want him knowing that he was crying again. Opening his eyes he glanced back towards through the glass door. Still no Kieran.

Biting back another sob, he went about cleaning himself. Jakob took his time washing his hair, then moving on to his body. The minutes passed as the steam swirled around him, filling the small space. He took care to clean himself thoroughly before turning the knobs and stepping out once more. He didn’t feel any better, but at least he was clean. Jakob stepped towards the counter to pick up his towel. He wiped his face and arms, then wrapped the towel around his waist. He wasn’t ready to go back out there, however, he couldn’t hide in here all night either. Taking a breath, Jakob forced himself out of the bathroom. He looked towards Kieran to him dressed in his boxers, with his own clothes laid on the bed beside him. If Jakob was unsure if he was unwanted before, he certainly knew he was now. Jakob tried to keep his face free of emotion as he came closer.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

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It wasn't Kieran's intention to make Miguel feel unwanted. He also didn't bring him here for a ********. If anything, he was making things worse. Kirean wasn't trying to be difficult. He felt guilty for hurting Miguel. Kirean sat there listening to the water of the shower. He thought by giving Miguel space it might be better but he was wrong.

Sitting there in his thoughts, it wasn't long before the water shut off. He wasn't trying to get Miguel to leave. If anything he wanted him to stay. Although he knew such a request was selfish of him. Kirean glanced to see Miguel exit the bathroom and come toward the bed. He saw a flash of emotion slip over his face before he hid it away. Kirean didn't know what was wrong or even if Miguel would tell him.