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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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 Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2024 8:39 pm
He couldn't fault Kieran for letting him go like this. He supposed it was better than his little wave and promises they may or may not keep. At least like this he got a real kiss goodbye and not that pathetic excuse of one he'd given earlier. Jakob clung to Kieran as they shared kiss after kiss until his lungs ached. Kieran was the first to pull away. He opened his eyes to find him staring down at him as he lowered himself to the ground. He took shuddering breath and Kieran pulled away, looking as though he had something to say. When no words came, Jakob nodded as if he understood completely.
Backing away, he took one step, then two, and then a third before turning around completely. He didn't allow himself to look back. Jakob followed the hall down to the elevators. He took a much needed breath as he jabbed the button in front of him. The lift soon dinged and the doors slid open. Finding the elevator empty he stepped inside and pressed the button for the ground floor. His heart was pounding and all the emotions he thought had cried out of him came rushing back. He let out a few sobs as the lift lowered. He hated how weak he was today, there didn't seem to be a minute that passed by that he wasn't in tears. Sniffling and wiping at his face, he was just in time as the lift dinged and the doors opened once more.
Walking through the lobby, Jakob looked around hoping for another familiar face, only to find strangers. He couldn't blame Abel for leaving, perhaps he'd gone back. He would there first before giving him a call. Passing through the lobby, he was soon back into the bright afternoon. Jakob squinted against the bright light but pressed on. Following the road, he went back to the street they came from before. Passing the shops and stopping at lights, it was much more packed compared to earlier. The whole time he walked he still didn't look back. He could still taste Kieran on his lips and yet he was off to find another man. What was he going to say, what was he going to do. These thoughts and more were racing through his mind like a plague.
The thought of confessing his love to Abel was what scared him the most. He didn't know if he would believe him, especially after their conversation and sleeping with Kieran. He tried not to let that stop of though, he wanted to see him. Jakob continued towards his apartment and allowed his feet to carry him home.
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Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2024 11:03 pm
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜Releasing Miguel, Kirean watched as he stepped back. With nothing left to say, Miguel turned to leave. Kirean stayed at the door watching his retreating back until he was out of view. He slipped back inside and shut the door behind him. Already he wanted to run after him but it was too late. Kirean felt sadness as he made his way back to the bed. He crawled inside the blankets as he lay there.
Abel hadn't left Miguel's stoop. He had only a few more cigarettes left. Abel couldn't help the anxiety that filled his mind. He could feel his knee bouncing as he tried to calm himself. Abel expected to be going home soon. He didn't know why he thought coming here was a good idea. In two years, he'd kept his distance even before then. Abel cared for Miguel and loved him. Only today had he revealed such emotions. He knew he probably shouldn't have, it did him no good. Lighting another cigarette, he inhaled as he blew the smoke out around him.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2024 11:50 pm
Leaving Kieran like that was probably the hardest thing he'd ever done. He felt a bittersweet sadness about finally putting a proper end to their relationship. In his head he knew it was the right thing to do, he couldn't pretend they were the same people that they used to be. It hurt, but it was the truth. Jakob wouldn't forget what they had today and he was holding him to his promise of a friendly future.
Walking back to his apartment his mind was buzzing with everything he wanted to say to Abel. He didn't even know where to begin. In their two years of friendship he had been trying to ignore what he felt for Abel. Jakob enjoyed their conversations for what they were, and he valued their friendship. He didn't want to do anything that might jeopardize that.
Crossing the last intersection he could see his apartment in the distance. He had hoped to run into Abel by now, but he was nowhere to be found. It wasn't until he was about twenty paces away did he see him. Pausing in his tracks Jakob looked towards the man he was about to confess his love to. Oddly enough he looked about as anxious as Jakob felt. He watched a moment as the man bounced his knee and the smoke from his cigarette swirled around him. This is what he wanted? He briefly questioned himself. Taking another breath, Jakob took the remaining steps and stood over Abel. "Excuse me sir, I think this is a no smoking building." he said in German.
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Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2024 12:58 am
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜Abel couldn't help himself. He expected the worst and just wanted to go home. Abel held his head down as the smoke billowed around him. He probably looked like a mess in less than a few hours. Abel hadn't been paying much attention to his surroundings. He was lost in his thoughts. Abel soon felt someone hovering over him before they spoke. He almost jumped, having not expected anyone to talk to him. Abel looked up to see Miguel standing before him. He shook his head as he dropped the cigarette to stub it out. Abel moved to stand as he used the tip of his shoe to squish out the fire in the cigarette. ”Sorry, I didn't…” know where else to go… He responded awkwardly only speaking the first few words and cutting off before he finished the rest. Beneath his feet lay his smoked cigarettes. Abel forced himself to remain calm. He just wanted to get his things and go home. There was nothing left here for him.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2024 6:02 am
Looking down on him he was surprised by the amount of cigarette butts on the ground. By the looks of it Abel must have smoked nearly an entire pack. Jakob was unsure if this amount for him, but by the way he bounced his leg and held his head he ventured to say no. Standing there he made a small comment and watched as Abel turned his gaze up to him, as if he had broken some kind of concentration. Jakob took a step back as the man shook his head, dropping what was left of the cigarette in his hand, and rose to stub it out. Abel started to speak only to stop after just a few words, he stared at him curiously, but figured it must not be important. ”C’mon, let’s go inside.” He said, switching back to English. Stepping away from the male, Jabok moved towards the door to his building. He fished out his keys from his pocket and moved to unlock the door.
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Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2024 7:35 am
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜Abel usually wasn't a big smoker. He had diminished his smoking to mostly casual, not daily. Abel had downed an over abundance of nicotine. The cigarettes hadn't helped calm his nerves that was obvious as he stood before Miguel. He hadn't wanted Miguel to see him like this. It only made him feel awkward. Abel spoke though cut off at the end. His words weren't important. He was merely surprised to see Miguel so soon. Abel could see he had been crying still. He wondered how things went with Kirean though knew he didn't have much right to ask. Abel listened as Miguel spoke, directing him toward the door. He followed after him as he waited for Miguel to open the door.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2024 7:58 am
All his thoughts and worries and feelings were still there, buzzing. He felt like he ought to say more but wasn’t sure what. Did he look okay, could Abel tell that he had recently showered? Or worse, that he recently cried again. How many marks had Kieran left and were they visible compared to the ones left by Abel. He wished he had a mirror or had at least checked his appearance before leaving the hotel. But it had been so far out of his mind, the only thing he could think was that it was time to leave.
Standing there he waited for Abel as he suggested they take things inside. Taking out his keys, he made quick work of unlocking the door. He then stepped into the quiet lobby, holding the door behind him as he went. When they were both inside Jakob continued towards the elevator and pressed the call button. There he could sort of make himself out in the shiny metal doors. His hair was still a bit damp and his curls not nearly as defined as earlier. Perhaps he could play it off as being wind blown. As for any other details, it was too hard to tell.
After another half minute the lift chimed and the doors opened. He stepped aside as a woman with two small children and a stroller came out. When the lift was empty Jakob walked in, pressing the button for his floor. The doors soon shut and he glanced at Abel. ”Were you waiting long?” he asked casually. The evidence had been obvious, but he wasn’t sure how else to start.
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Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2024 9:08 am
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜Standing before Abel he wasn't oblivious. He could see his hair had been wet and he had a few recent marks lining his throat. Abel could make a few remarks though until he knew what happened, he was likely only to upset Miguel. He wasn't in the mood for that. Abel followed after Miguel once he opened the door. He took the open door as Miguel slipped inside. The door shut behind them as they entered the lobby.
Walking toward the elevator, he waited beside Miguel as he pressed the call button. It wasn't long before the lift arrived at ground level. The doors opened allowing a woman and her children to exit. Abel waited until they were clear as he entered the elevator with Miguel. He moved inside leaning against the far wall as he gripped the railing.
Abel watched Miguel as he pressed his floor button and stood to the side. He stood in silence as the elevator rose. Abel glanced around the elevator not wanting to stare at Miguel. He soon heard him speak however. Abel shrugged his shoulders figuring it was obvious. ”Not really, I walked around a little before returning back here.” He commented though walking around meant to the store to get cigarettes and back.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2024 10:13 am
Whether Abel had noticed or not he did not say, honestly he was glad. He wasn't really in the moon for any snide remarks of the sort. Instead, he quickly unlocked the door and led them tot he elevator. While they waited he Jakob tried not to bring any extra attention to himself by fussing with his hair or checking his skin. Even though he wanted nothing more than see how much of a hot mess he really was. When the doors opened, a woman and children came out.
Once it was clear he slipped inside and pressed for his floor. Beside him, Abel leaned against the back railing. He glanced at the males' reflection on the shiny door. Here their reflections were a lot clearer. He could make out some of the marks left by the both of them as well as the state of his hair. Definitely not the wind blown look he thought he could get away with. Studying Abel, he didn't appear to be upset or angry like he thought he would be, then again it was entirely possible that he was hiding that from him.
When he questioned him, Abel gave him a shrug. Of course, he thought. Before he could let it continue the man spoke. Jakob nodded. As if it was that quick, Abel would have had to suck pretty hard to go through that many cigarettes if he was only there a couple of minutes. Glancing up at the panel, they had just passed the second floor. "I'm sorry for kicking you out of the conversation." he said, turning his head to look at him. Jakob wanted to try to continue, though so far Abel didn't seem interested. He hoped an apology could smooth things over. At the very least he might appreciate that Jakob even acknowledged his wrong doing rather than let it sit there, like it never happened.
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Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2024 10:46 am
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜Indeed Miguel was a mess though he wasn't to judge. He figured that Miguel wasn't his so why be jealous. Abel could easily make a fuss though thought better of it. He stood watching Miguel as he seemed to look himself over in the mirrored reflection. Abel remained silent as Miguel glanced at him. He was hiding himself from Miguel, it was better this way. Abel didn't want to bother Miguel with his thoughts.
He had been waiting long though he wasn't about to admit it. Abel figured it was best to avoid the question when it was obvious. He let the silence pass as Miguel soon apologized as if that would make it better. Abel nodded slightly though didn't accept it. ”Did you two figure things out?” He asked though in his own way he hardly cared.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2024 11:19 am
It would be no surprise to him if Abel were jealous. Although the man often liked to pretend he wasn't, he could still see it. Even when he was back in Chicago, he always had this little inkling that there was something Abel was not telling him. The only time he had said something about it, he had been reminded that there was nothing to be jealous of. But now, here he was, wanting to call him out on it again. To get some real answers. He worried if they didn't at least have some kind of conversation it would only ruin whatever remained of their friendship.
As the silence grew once more, Jakob attempted for a conversation a second time. He apologized for keeping him out of the conversation, though there were other things he knew he ought to apologize for as well. Beside him the male nodded, neither verbally accepting nor denying his apology. Instead, he questioned him about the state of things between himself and Kieran. Jakob nodded. "In a very long, round about way, yeah." he said. "We broke up...officially." Saying the words out loud, it was still new even though it had been true for quite some time. He felt a small sting and swelling of his chest. But he wasn't going to cry, or so he promised himself.
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Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2024 12:02 pm
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜A few thoughts ran in Abel's mind, of course he was jealous. Although it was easier to hide. He had never allowed himself the extent of showing Miguel how jealous he could be. Abel easily gave up Miguel as he had earlier. He had no place in their relationship, between Miguel and Kirean. Abel knew if he expressed himself freely then he might hurt Miguel both verbally and physically. He too didn't want to ruin their friendship which is why he kept his feelings to himself.
While it wasn't his business, he couldn't help but ask. Abel figured Miguel and Kirean would have spent longer together but maybe he was just making assumptions. He could have easily gone off on his own. Abel had intended to out of anger but hadn't. He knew Miguel meant his apology but it still bothered him to be pushed aside. Abel opted to ask how things went but wondered if he shouldn't.
He was surprised by Miguel's words. Abel hadn't expected them to part so easily. He thought by reuniting them that Kirean and Miguel would get back together. Abel wasn't too sure how to respond. He thought it bad to be happy about such an announcement. ”I thought you too were fine when I left.” Abel stated simply not sure what happened in the last few hours.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2024 12:39 pm
Jakob couldn't say that he would blame him for being jealous. After so many times of using him for comfort or sex, even someone as guarded as Abel was bound to start feeling something. He didn't think he was so cold hearted to not feel, despite his very early accusations against him. In his own way, Jakob had come to find love and comfort as well. Abel had become as much a constant in his life that Kieran had, he couldn't see himself having one without the other.
Hearing the male's question he wasn't offended by it. It seemed nature to want to know what had happened between them. After all, he was sure that Abel wanted to know that he wasn't getting kicked out for no reason. Had things gone better, he would probably still be there, curled up in his arms. But he couldn't think like that now, they were done and probably for good this time. Whatever Abel had been thinking or feeling, he was glad that he kept it too a minimum. He didn't want to see him gloating just yet. It hadn't even been a solid half hour since leaving the hotel. Turning his head towards the door, they had passed another two floors. Parting from Kieran had been anything but easy, he had hoped in someway for a better outcome. Instead, he got the inevitable.
When the man spoke again, Jakob shrugged. "For awhile we were." he replied. "But then we just kept getting caught in the same conversation from before...We tried working it out and talking about things we never talked about when we were together. It still wasn't enough." Jakob smiled sadly to himself. He had given his all and still he failed. But it wasn't complete lose, he learned a few things and Kieran had helped him see just how much he had changed. He wondered if Abel had noticed any of these changes in him as well. Was he already aware of his feelings for him or was Jakob the last to know.
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Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2024 1:04 am
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜Being used for comfort was something he was used to. He half expected it at the moment as well. However he wasn't looking to comfort Miguel. Abel was selfish enough to want to leave after gathering his things. He was surprised to know they were officially done. While he didn't think they'd get back together automatically. Abel hadn't expected them to be done all together.
Questioning Miguel, he had worried they had gotten into another argument. Abel listened as Miguel explained what happened in few details. He nodded a little, not sure what to say. Abel had thought things would be better between them. He was a horrible matchmaker it seemed. Abel let silence spread between them. He looked toward the panel on the wall at the floor levels as they were nearing the right floor.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2024 1:55 am
Jakob didn’t think he would get any sympathy for finally ending something that should have been done ages ago. Frankly he couldn’t blame Abel if he didn’t feel like listening to his problems or wanted to act friendly towards him right now. He had every to be angry with him and if he truly wanted to go home he wouldn’t stop him. Jakob didn’t know if he would ever be completely done with Kieran, but for now it was safe to say that they were not going to be getting back together.
As the elevator rose he told Abel in vague details about how he failed to get back with his ex. Beside him, Abel only nodded quietly. He didn’t blame Abel for his failure, it was pretty obvious that it wasn’t going to happen. Jakob had just been in denial and hoped a few apologies would be enough to fix everything. How wrong he was. Jakob gave another glance at the panel, nearly there. For the rest of the ride he stood in silence. He felt nervous about continuing the conversation, what if he didn’t believe his confession. Still, if Abel was about to leave, better he say it now rather than wait another two years.
The chime from the lift pulled him from his thoughts. Stepping out first, he began down the familiar hallway. It was just empty and clear like before with hardly any noise. He supposed most of his neighbors had already gone to work by now. He soon reached his apartment and unlocked the door. He walked in, flipped on the lights, and took off his shoes. ”Would you like anything to drink?” He asked, wondering how much longer he possibly stall.
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