+[O]+ ~Vent, Rave, & Rant~ +[K]+

[Haha6977]

Kid, you want jipped in the parent lottery? Mine don't want me. I spent the last four years of my teen years as a ward of the court and in a home. then I was on the streets at 18. That doesn't even begin to tell my history. So, be glad your mom gives a damn enough about you to ask where you're going. Sure it may seem inconvenient, but it's better than not being wanted at all.  

[Mr_Slave69]

i think these jeans make my butt look big! D:  

[Haha6977]

ummmm......o k a y. >.> <.< burning_eyes  

[Mr_Slave69]

shinsevenx

ummmm......o k a y. >.> <.< burning_eyes

AHAHAHAHHAHA. .. yeah. . .
now i hafta pee really bad. . but i'm like too lazy to get up! D:  

[Pachelbel Canon]

I had to drop my boyfriend off at the airport yesterday so he could fly down to Tennessee for Christmas...until January 1st or 2nd. T__T I'm gonna miss him.

And I could have gone with him, but I decided I should stay home with my family, because I may not have the opportunity next year, being 19 now and all...though really the only reason I stayed was so my little sister wouldn't have to suffer alone with these step-relatives. -_-; It just feels crappy because I haven't been away from him for even a day for the past...god, two months? I know it's a dumb thing to whine about, some people have it a lot worse long distance wise, and at least I know he'll be coming back, and I know when. I just felt really emo dropping him off yesterday and I'll probably miss him until he gets back. He's my best friend, not just a boyfriend. And now I feel icky and un-Christmaslike. =(  

[Haha6977]

*hugs* Poor Aprilness....I know how you feel. This is my first christmas without Arwen and all in all it has sucked. Don't get me wrong, all of my new online friends like Chi-chan and Orli, and so on have been awesome to me...but Arwen...it was her that I love. So I understand. Look at it this way April. At least he will come back. ^__^  

[Pachelbel Canon]

Yeah. He called me today too and he sounded really sad...he said he missed me, and I already knew he did. ='( But, yeah, he will be back, and I'll just be that much happier to see him when he does get here.

Who is Arwen?  

[Haha6977]

Oooohhh! my bad. She is my soon to be ex wife. v.v  

[Pachelbel Canon]

='( What a sad time to get divorced, I'm sorry hon. I feel emo for you emo  

[Haha6977]

S'okay..... I try to be over it. My pal and I have hedged bets however, on how long it'll be before she comes back, but that don't take away the loneliness now. Generally, I hang out here and ppl help me forget. So much zaniness going on here, how could I not? I really miss her when I lay down to sleep though. True, she was epileptic and there was always a chance she could wake me with a seizure....and I do still worry about her. But I, unlike her, think of the good times as well. *sigh* I wish I could find someone at least close to that soon, really. I don't even care about sex, in truth. It's the having a warm body next to me at night, or a person to talk to when no one else will. And I mean rl talk. lol, I'm a motormouth. but I have my moments when I listen. I am trying to work on that...honest! xd  

[angel_half82]

shinsevenx

S'okay..... I try to be over it. My pal and I have hedged bets however, on how long it'll be before she comes back, but that don't take away the loneliness now. Generally, I hang out here and ppl help me forget. So much zaniness going on here, how could I not? I really miss her when I lay down to sleep though. True, she was epileptic and there was always a chance she could wake me with a seizure....and I do still worry about her. But I, unlike her, think of the good times as well. *sigh* I wish I could find someone at least close to that soon, really. I don't even care about sex, in truth. It's the having a warm body next to me at night, or a person to talk to when no one else will. And I mean rl talk. lol, I'm a motormouth. but I have my moments when I listen. I am trying to work on that...honest! xd

You just want someone to get you a christmas present. rofl  

[Pachelbel Canon]

Ah, yes. Friends are always good for that. Yesterday when I was feeling terrible about Austin leaving I went and hung out with my sister and two friends, and that was a nice distraction. But I know exactly what you mean; at the end of the day you still miss them. Having someone next to me when I go to sleep just makes me feel safe. I know someone cares about me..I don't know quite how to explain it but I have a feeling you know what I mean.

She's epileptic? =( I have an epileptic friend, and you do worry about them. It must be even worse for you because you were married.

My boyfriend and I have only had sex once in the past 2 months or so. It honestly doesn't mean much to me, not in comparison to...well just having this person. I can talk to him about anything. So you do think she will come back, or is that...hoping? 8( It's one thing to be physically separated from someone and another for them to be "gone." -_-; Now I feel kind of selfish.

EDIT: And no, actually he gave me a Christmas present. X|  

[Haha6977]

well, in actuality, it was my buddy that said he thinks she'll show up when I am doing really really well, and I am on that road. I have a job now, and I am working on my community service, I am going to counseling now and so on. Heck yeah I sure do hope she does come back. My buddy got pissy today and told me that if I truly felt that way, that I deserved to be betrayed again.
and yeah, I totally know what you mean.

Yeah, she has grand mal seizures. I used to take care of her when she would have them, doing things like cleaning her up, carrying her to the bath so she could soak and try to relax, and so on. I will never forget the look on her face when I have seen her actually go into a seizure. It is forever etched in my mind. Granted, her and I used to argue a fair bit. and I would say that I was wrong a lot. She was as well, but I don't want ppl to think I'm a total angel and she is a devil. I definitely had my a*****e moments. Sure, I have some issues and such, but I can't see them as an excuse. The point is, I did feel like I could tell her anything too. She was my best friend, my lover, my confidant. She was the reason I awoke when I did sleep. (I'm an insomniac) The whole situation has a weird 'Revenge of The Sith' feel to it. I feel like telling her, "You were supposed to help me lead us into the light, not leave us in darkness! You were my best friend! I love you!" But....No, you aren't selfish. I think it is nice that you feel that way about your boyfriend and I feel he is a very lucky man.  

[Pachelbel Canon]

You sound like a pretty level-headed guy. I mean, at the very least you're self-aware. Why would your friend say that just because you want her to come back? I guess I don't get it.  

[Haha6977]

Well, my friend is very biased towards me, b/c he's like a father figure to me, in a sense. He's also very old school, and He's trying to get me to wake up to what he perceives as me wanting someone bad in my life. Thank you...You know, I read some of your blog, mainly b/c I seen some stuff that I found interesting, and I found you to be a very interesting, deep person. So, for you to compliment me like you did, it is an honor. ^__^ You have a way with words yourself. Oh, and my friend has his own issues too....his wife died four years ago. He's still not really let go. I feel for him. Underneath it all, he really is a cool guy, he just wishes to protect me I think.