Welcome to Gaia! ::

why? (we dont get fox here xp )

For the most part, just to be able to function somewhat in society while being psychotic takes a huge amount of strength. By definition though, I dont think psychosis can be achieved without insanity. But "insanity" is not something that we refer to a lot in psych lol mrgreen

Surely you've thought (at least at one point), what it'd be like to be psychotic? Don't you ever want to know if you could "handle" it? Haven't you ever wished to test the limits of your own mental stability?

Just like proving your PHYSICAL strength by lifting weights, or proving your INTELLECTUAL strength by taking tests. We don't get much chance to test our PSYCHOLOGICAL strength.

No weed, I'm afraid. >.>
My mind is still just this ******** up from watching Higurashi. >.>

I have a strong allergy to that line of drug.

My psychiatrist tried several times with various drugs, as I am bipolar. Every time, I had horrible reactions, ranging from skin rashes to excessive sleepiness. Many of these "side-effects" were not normally associated with the drug I was taking. After taking at least 10 different medications, he gave up and put me on Tenex, to lower my blood pressure and calm me. I took it up until last year, at which point I finally quit.


>.> And I'm not really sure why I just said that.

I've visited a psychologist for counseling sessions from 5th grade on. I still visit her, in fact, though less often (a few times a year at most). The activities varied depending on the feedback that my parents provided.

As far as dealing with Bipolar disorder, early on, she encouraged me to write out my feelings, which didn't really work as I suffered from minor dysgraphia (also known as written-expression-disability, though I later found that typing made this much less of a problem).

She'd encourage me to draw things out on paper, instead of getting angry at people. The problem was, she always encouraged the use of crayons, and drawing within a round circle on the piece of paper, claiming that the "borders" helped people organize their thoughts. I found this quite difficult as well, as it obstructed whatever I wanted to draw.

As far as other problems went, I tended to be intellectually ahead of others, but emotionally immature, leading for quite difficult situations. In order to help with this, we did activities with literally sheets of emoticons, in which I was supposed to determine what each one was feeling.
surprised happy
sad sad
confused confused
etc.

I honestly can't remember what all we did. We did breathing exercises, exercises to help me sleep (as I also suffered insomnia), role-playing activities to instruct me on how to properly address people, etc. She tried putting me on Omega-3 fatty acid, until we soon found out I was allergic to codfish, which it is made from. >.<

With ADD, OCD, dysgraphia, and bipolar disorder, we never really ran out of stuff for me to work on. ._. I guess I was a pretty messed up kid back then. Though now, I rarely show symptoms of OCD, and am practically clear of everything else.

This is one reason why I wonder what would happen if I experienced severe psychological trauma. I wonder if the exercises I've been through would be a practical immunization, or if all the disorders I previously struggled with would suddenly grow unmanageably again.

leviticus also says you should never cut your hair, wear clothes of mixed fabric, etc etc etc. and the adultery commandment ALSO says to never look upon someone with lust who isn't your spouse. you SERIOUSLY want to tell me you've never crushed on someone? really?? and OMG angel and i have sex ALL THE ******** TIME! we've been married for 6 years and ZOMG! no babies! obviously we're sinners and therefore ********! rolleyes

if you're gonna pull ONE PART out of context in the bible, please be prepraed to pull ALL parts.

also, ftw, i really hope you're not one of those christians who are still using the ever-flawed king james version of the bible...seriously.

i mean, it was comissioned by a GAY PERSON! OMG! therefore, he had a mental disease and everything in whatever he wrote MUST be tainted by that!

i also don't think you can say "i think what they do is a mental disease and a sin" and NOT have nothing against them. confused

and O.M.G.

the bible is pretty blunt about NO ONE having the right to judge someone else, and yet, when i read your statements, they're FULL of judgements.

you don't have the right to tell someone to not call themselves a christian. in case you didn't know, the ONLY requirement to be a christian is a firm belief in jesus christ, sug. and seeing as how christ was accepting to EVERYONE, and christians are SUPPOSED to strive to be like him...well, i wouldn't tell you to not call yourself a christian, but you might want to look into becoming more christ-like if you'd like the label of christian.

just sayin'. 3nodding

also, i'm having flashbacks from the movie "saved" here....anyone else? sweatdrop

I didn't mind taking the drugs, honestly, but they were such an inconvenience. I found the therapy much more useful in the long-run. It took YEARS before it truly took hold, during which time the drugs (mainly Tenex) kept me on-track in school and allowed me to remain functional.

As of now, I choose not to take the drugs, because I'm capable of controlling myself without them. Their very nature seems to take something from your confidence. I'd rather rely on my own mental strength than a medication.

Now, even without the drugs, most people find me to be almost irrationally calm even in antagonizing situations, due to what I've learned. (Sometimes I am afraid that therapy made me into a pushover). I'm able to focus and work properly just with what I've learned, and that's good enough for me. Even if drugs could make further improvement, I wouldn't take them now. I feel that what minor symptoms I have left are too deeply woven into my personality and identity for me to want to remove them.

This is just how I feel. It may not be what's best for me, but it's how I've managed. Drugs have their place, and helped more than they hurt (except when I tried Adderall long term for ADD, as it severely worsened my bipolar symptoms, which I couldn't treat by medication). But I don't believe drugs would do me any good nowadays.