Vampires Vs. Chuck Norris

[Omnileech]

Jaft

Mmm...

I seem to be interpreting differently. It's a quote from the 1700's and ol' George said, religion, not God or Buddha or etc.

Religion is a pretty open word to me. "...a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe..."

>_>
<_<

Oh Norris gets better.

Quote:

The truth is that the great majority of Prop. 8 advocates are not bigots or hatemongers. They are American citizens who are following 5,000 years of human history and the belief of every major people and religion: Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman. Their pro-Prop. 8 votes weren't intended to deprive any group of its rights; they were safeguarding their honest convictions regarding the boundaries of marriage.

On Nov. 4, the pro-gay community obviously was flabbergasted that a state that generally leans left actually voted right when it came to holy matrimony. But that's exactly what happened; the majority of Californians -- red, yellow, black and white -- voted to define the margins of marriage as being between one man and one woman. California is the 30th state in our union to amend its constitution in doing so, joining Florida and Arizona in this election. Like it or not, it's the law now. The people have spoken.

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=55668

http://wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=55789

Norris

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever."

There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.

If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood.

It's nice to know that Norris thinks that someone's cancer is caused by "sin" and praying is going to do anything about it and not... I dunno? Actually therapy?

And there's more... stupidity...

http://worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=73274

And then there's xenophobia...

http://worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=72657

"America as we know it will dissolve like a sugar cube in coffee."

You mean like the whiteness of America becoming multi-racial, Norris? I for one, welcome immigrants.

http://worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=70126

And more stupidity. I gotta love how he tries to tie God to his views in some attempt to give them legitimacy. I should add that for all his talk of "positivity" all his articles on WDN are attacks on people he feels are immoral and destroying the country.

http://worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=62142

And here's the best for last.

Norris wonders why intelligent design shouldn't be taught in science classes.  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

What do his political beliefs have to do with his vampire vanquishing abilities?

biggrin

We've strayed far too off topic concerning that portion of his life. Now Walker, Texas Ranger, he'd own those vampires easy. =w=  

[124-C]

Chuck Norris could barely handle one zombie. I'm not sure how he'd do against multiple vampires...  

[wakusei]

Now all I can picture is Norris pulling out a crucifix and bein' all "The power of Christ compels you!" to any approaching vampires. This, quite naturally, will fail to do anything against them.
Shame, though. He really had a chance at at least selling them some Total Gyms.

 

[Omnileech]

Jaft

What do his political beliefs have to do with his vampire vanquishing abilities?

biggrin

We've strayed far too off topic concerning that portion of his life. Now Walker, Texas Ranger, he'd own those vampires easy. =w=

Chuck Norris is such a loser that he can't handle anyone anymore. He'd write an angry blog about how Vampires should be outlawed and then go on FOX News to as pundits Vampires being liberal, atheist, mexicans crossing into the US without permission. Then he'd push his book because that's all he has left of what is left of his shattered reputation. That sound better?  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

Evidence of his awesomeness. ;D

Chuck versus Copter

Super Kick  

[Omnileech]

Wooo a guy firing a weapon at a helicopter and a stunt scene.  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

Whoo indeed. =w=  

[124-C]

I think that the most pressing question would be: Where did he get the rocket launcher? Does he keep one in the back of his truck, just in case?


Actually, that's not a bad idea. I wonder how much a shoulder fired rocket launcher costs on eBay...  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

At least two thousand... I think. >_>  

[124-C]

Hrmm... I wonder if selling a kidney would cover it... Seems to me a rocket launcher would be more useful than a kidney...  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

Keep them both if your family has a history of diabetes, otherwise you'll only need one.

:3

EDIT:

You all have to watch this part. The throw is legendary. XD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPeti6zboJE&feature=channel  

[Saverio C.]

In the room you are in right now Chuck Norris could find 1000 different items to kill you with, including the room itself.

His round house kick would behead the vampires. Beheading kill most Vampires, and if it didn't he would just drive his fist into their chest.


Two, Omni take your panties out of the bunch and have a little fun. It's a little thing that people sometimes have, and that can make life more enjoyable. Chuck Norris is a Jesus freak, but there is nothing wrong with that. He doesn't condone violence against anyone.  

[Omnileech]

Saverio C.

In the room you are in right now Chuck Norris could find 1000 different items to kill you with, including the room itself.

His round house kick would behead the vampires. Beheading kill most Vampires, and if it didn't he would just drive his fist into their chest.


Two, Omni take your panties out of the bunch and have a little fun. It's a little thing that people sometimes have, and that can make life more enjoyable. Chuck Norris is a Jesus freak, but there is nothing wrong with that. He doesn't condone violence against anyone.

And if I don't have more fun you'll do what? More petty insults. 68 year old man, known for milking off of his crappy acting career and batshit insane to boot. There's nothing impressive about Norris at all other than how overhyped simpletons make him out to be.

So what now? Going to try flaming me some more?  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

....

Omni.... Dude.... Stop trying to cause a ruckus.

Edit: Chuck Norris' wife was preparing for a party with friends, but she didn't have time to visit the bakery to buy cake. She asked her Chuck Norris to go out and purchase a big cake before everyone arrived. Chuck Norris opened the door and went outside, waving goodbye to his wife. Thirty seconds later, Chuck Norris returns home with a fully decorated cake and his wife, in shock, asks, "How did you do that, honey?" Chuck Norris then preceded to violently roundhouse kick his wife in the face, knocking her out cold and said, "NO ONE questions Chuck Norris!'"