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A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: OMFG HI.
You: <3
You: I LOVE YOU.
Stranger: HIIIII
You: DO YOU LOVE ME, BOBBY ?
Stranger: I SURE DO, JANE!
You: ...
You: ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME ?!
You: MY NAME'S TILA !
Stranger: DAMMMMMMMIT
Stranger: I NEED TO WRITE DOWN YOUR NAMES OR SOMETHING
You: WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR LOVE, BABY ?
You: WHAT ?!?!??!!
You: YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME !
You: YOU b*****d !
Stranger: EHHHH~
You: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME ?!?!
Stranger: NEVER
Stranger: MY LOVE FOR YOU IS AS PURE AS SNOW
You: WHAT ABOUT OUR 4 CHILDREN, ROBERT, KEVIN, CHRIS, AND WYATT ?!
Stranger: AND FOR YOU AND YOU ALONE!
You: YEAH, PURE AS SNOW THAT'S BEEN PEED ON, I'M SURE.
Stranger: WYATT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE ME YOU TOTAL b***h
Stranger: WYATT LOOKS LIKE PASTOR MIKE!
You: WHAT, DON'T LIE
You: NO HE DOESN'T !
Stranger: SPITTING IMAGE!
Stranger: WHORE!
You: I SWEAR TO GOD, THOSE LONG NIGHTS OF CONFESSIONALS MEANT NOTHING TO ME !
Stranger: DAAAAAAAAMIT
You: I'M NO WHORE, I SWEAR TO GOD, SWEETIE, I LOVE YOU !
You: BUT IT'S YOU CHEATING ON ME !
You: BABY, PLEASE, LET'S GO INTO MARRIAGE COUNCILLING...
Stranger: I SAW YOUR SLUTTY POST ON CRAIGSLIST, AND IF I KNEW YOU WANTED 30 DOLLARS I'D HAVE GIVEN IT TO YOU BUT
You: OH COME ON, PLEASE.
Stranger: "NOOOO, MEET ME ON THE BU$ MALL, BABY"
You: YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T HAVE...
Stranger: SKANK WHORE
You: YOU NEVER GIVE ME ANY MONEY.,
You: EXCEPT WHEN I PLAY FOR YOU.
Stranger: WELL, YOU NEVER ASK NICELY
You: WELL, YOU PLAY HARD TO GET, SO MUCH.
You: IT WEARS ME.
Stranger: IF YOU ASKED POLITELY I'D GIVE YOU s**t
You: IT TIRES ME, BOBBY.
You: THAT'S EXACTLY /WHAT/ YOU GIVE ME, BOBBY. s**t.
Stranger: BUT YOU DON'T, BECAUSE YOU'RE A SKANK WHORE, TILA
You: PLEASE, BOBBY, BE NICE.
Stranger: OH SHUT YOUR COCKSUCKING MOUTH
You: COME ON HOME, LOVE, OUR 4 KIDS ARE WAITING FOR YOU !
Stranger: THREE KIDS,
You: WYATT WANTS HIS DADDY...
You: CHRIS IS CRYING...
Stranger: I REALLY DON'T BELIEVE THAT WYATT IS MINE
Stranger: CHRIS CAN SUCK IT
You: ROBERT MISSEES YOU !
Stranger: I'M LEAVING!
Stranger: ROBERT IS A WIMP
You: AND WHAT ABOUT KEVIN, YOUR FAVOURITE CHILD ?!
Stranger: I'M TAKING KEVIN WITH ME!
You: ROBERT LEARNED FROM HIS DADDY.
You: KEVIN'S MINE !
Stranger: NOPE, HE LOVES ME MUCH MORE
You: REMEMBER THE CUSTODAL FIGHT ?
You: HE CHOSE ME.
You: b***h, YOU DID /NOT/ JUST GO THERE...
You: NUH UH !
Stranger: IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, HE ALWAYS OMITTED YOU FROM THE FAMILY SCRIBBLINGS
Stranger: I WAS IN THE MIDDLE!
You: THAT PHOTO WAS PHOTOSHOPPED, BECAUSE THERE WAS YOUR SKANKY GIRLFRIEND THERE !
Stranger: YOU JUST WANT TO WHORE MY BEAUTIFUL SON OUT, YOU TRASH
You: HE DIDN'T WANT YOU, OR YOUR WHORES IN YOUR LIFE.
Stranger: POST HIM ON CRAIGSLIST
You: YOU'RE THE ONE INTO GAY INCEST, DON'T LIE TO ME, BOBBY.
Stranger: THEY AREN'T WHORES THEY ARE JUST REALLY BEAUTIFUL MISUNDERSTOOD PEOPLE, TILA
You: YOU'VE ALWAYS SPENT THOSE LATE NIGHTS IN HIS ROOM...
Stranger: OF COURSE THAT FLIES RIGHT OVER YOUR HEAD
Stranger: I WAS READING TO HIM! READING!
You: AND /PLEASE/, THOSE WHORES DON'T NEED A ******** LABEL TO SHOW ANY MORE THAT THEY'RE WHORES.
Stranger: HARRY POTTER!
You: READING, PLEASE.
You: I SAW THAT PLAYBOY MAG THAT YOU WERE HIDING IN THERE !
Stranger: I FOUND THEM AT CHURCH, GODDAMNIT!
Stranger: THAT'S NOT MINE.
You: I FOUND ONE UNDER HIS PILLOW !
Stranger: MUST BE KEVINS
Stranger: THAT'S MY BOY!
You: YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO GOES INTO HIS BED LATE AT NIGHT.
You: KEVIN IS BEING CORRUPTED BY THE TWISTED LIKES OF YOU.
Stranger: WELL, MAYBE IT WASNT HARRY POTTER THAT WE READ
Stranger: BUT
You: HE NEEDS BETTER PARENTAL SUPPORT !
Stranger: I'M NOT A f*****t, TILA
You: I'M TAKING THE CHILDREN AWAY WITH ME, BOBBY !
Stranger: HE NEEDS YOU TO GET OUT OF HIS LIFE
You: I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE,
Stranger: I JUST WANT KEVIN
You: I NEVER HAVE !
Stranger: OH, AND THE CAT
Stranger: THE CAT IS MINE
You: YOU AIN'T HAVING ANY OF THE KIDS, NOR THE CAT, BOBBY SR !
You: I'M GOING AWAY
You: FAR AWAY FOR YOU TO BE UNABLE TO FIND ME, BOBBY.
Stranger: ******** YOU, I'M CALLING MY COUSIN LEWIS, THE LAWYER
You: I'M DONE WITH YOU.
Stranger: YOU'RE GOING DOWN
You: LEWIS ******** ME, HE LIKES ME MORE THAN YOU.
Stranger: YOU'LL NEVER GET FAR ENOUGH AWAY
Stranger: NEVERY
Stranger: I'LL FIND YOU
You: I'M LEAVING THE COUNTRY, YOU b*****d.
Stranger: YOU CAN NEVER STOP RUNNING, NEVER!
You: I CAN !
Stranger: AS IF I DON'T HAVE A PASSPORT
You: I HAVE THE LAW ON MY SIDE.
You: DOMESTIC ABUSE, IS WHAT I'LL FILE FOR
Stranger: NO, WE'LL GET A NICE MIDWEST JURY
Stranger: AND THEY'LL HATE YOUR FOR YOUR WHORINESS
Stranger: AND THE BOYS WILL ALL ME MINE
You: AND IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER, I ALREADY FILED FOR A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST YOU, YOU SICK TWISTED b*****d !
You: AND I /GOT/ IT.
Stranger: THEN I'LL KILL THE JUDGE
You: SO STAY THE ******** AWAY FROM ME, IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU, BOBBY !
You: YOU CAN KILL THE JUDGE, BUT NOT THE ORDER !
Stranger: AND I'LL KILL THE LITTLE SUBPOENA SERVING PEOPLE
Stranger: AND /YOU/
Stranger: AND WYATT
You: YOU CAN'T KILL ME, BOBBY.
You: YOU LOVE ME.
Stranger: BUT NEVER KEVIN
Stranger: OH I'LL GARROTE YOU YOU b***h
You: YOU JUST WANT KEVIN FOR YOUR b***h SLAVE.
You: YOU LOVE ME, BOBBY.
You: YOU CAN'T DENY THAT.
You: ALL THOSE LONG, SWEET NIGHTS.
Stranger: AND YOU'LL BE SOMEWHERE FAR WAY, IN BRAZIL, IN PARAGUAY
Stranger: AND NO ONE WILL NO
You: YOU CAN'T ERASE THAT FROM THE PAST, BOBBY.
Stranger: AND THEN 50 YEARS LATER I WILL BE A MURDER MYSTERY!
You: LIES AND SLANDER !
Stranger: I'LL ******** ERASE EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!
Stranger: WHORE!
You: WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO CONVINCE, BOBBY ?
You: ME, OR YOU ?
You: YOU'RE THE MANWHORE.
You: YOU KNOW THEM SOUTHERNERS DON'T TAKE TO RETARDS VERY WELL.
You: THEY'LL PUT YOU IN THE CHAIR !
Stranger: WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS, I'LL KILL YOU, YOU JEZEBEL, AND TAKE WHAT'S INE
You: SO SMARTEN UP, b*****d.
Stranger: MINE*
Stranger: NO ONE WILL FIND ME
Stranger: AND IF THEY DO
You: AND LEARN HOW TO TYPE, YOU FREAK.
Stranger: AND IF THEY DO
Stranger: (MANIACAL LAUGHTER)
You: ...WHERE ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO ME FROM, ONE OF YOUR WHORE'S HOUSE ?
Stranger: i never did manage typing
You: SHE'S RICH ENOUGH TO OWN ONE OF THEM PC THINGS ?
Stranger: A PC
Stranger: SHE OWNS A MAC, TRASHY SKANK WHORE
Stranger: A MAC!
Stranger: GO BACK TO THIRD GRADE
You: A MAC THAT SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE.
You: b***h, AT LEAST I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL !
Stranger: THAT'S NOT HER FAULT, CAN ANYONE REALLY USE A MAC?
You: UNLIKE YOU
You: BOBBY, OUR SWEET CHRIS LEARNED TO USE ONE,
Stranger: I WORKED HARD TO SUPPORT A FAMILY
You: WITHOUT /YOUR/ HELP.
Stranger: THAT NEVER DESERVED MY LOVE!
You: WHAT 'SUPPORT' ?
Stranger: NEVER!
You: YOU NEVER SUPPORTED ME.
You: NEITHER YOU CHILDREN.
You: NOT EVEN THE DANG CAT !
Stranger: THEY ONLY GIVE YOU SO MANY HOURS AT DAIRY QUEEN!
Stranger: I TRIED MY BEST!
Stranger: BUT THAT'S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH1
You: WELL, I /TOLD/ YOU TO NOT WORK THERE, DIDN'T I BOBBY ? DIDN'T I ??!
Stranger: AND IT'S NOT AS IF YOU EVER WORKED, EITHER
Stranger: BUT I LOVE ICE CREAM!
You: I WORKED HARD AT THE HOUSE, WHICH /YOU/ NEVER SEEMED TO UNDERSTAND !
Stranger: LOVE IT!
Stranger: AND KEVIN LOVES IT!
You: THAT'S WHY YOU SO DANG FAT AND BLOATED, SWEETIE.
Stranger: WELL YOU HAVE A SAGGY v****a
You: SAME GOES FOR YOUR p***s.
Stranger: FROM WHORING YOURSELF!
You: WHICH IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT...
Stranger: MY p***s IS LOVELY!
You: YOU CAN'T EVEN GET HARD ANYMORE.
Stranger: EXTENZE DID IT WONDERS!
Stranger: IT'S TRULY A BEAUTIFUL OBJECT
You: I SAW THE SECRET STACK OF VIAGRA AND ALL THAT s**t UNDER THE BED, BOBBY.
You: AND KNOW WHAT, BOBBY ?
Stranger: ******** YOU
You: ALL THOSE YEARS OF DEM' LOVEMAKIN', I WAS FAKING IT.
Stranger: ******** YOU AND YOUR QUESTIONS
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAEHJHELJEKRJALEKRJ!
You: KNOW WHAT, I BET YOU'D LOVE TO ******** ME.
You: BUT YOU CAN'T.
Stranger: ADLSAGKJDAAAALDSKGJ
Stranger: ADKLFJAL
Stranger: GARBLE
You: NOW YOU'RE BEING RETARDED.
Stranger:
smile )
Stranger: FAT SMILOY
Your conversational partner has disconnected.