Welcome to Gaia! ::

Yeah I figured it was around that much.

I'm wondering what you mean by "edit" does that mean that you just fixed the spacing to your likeing, or did you do any othter editing?

I'm shooting for alot more pages too actually, after finishing the next few sections, I plan actually go back over what I have and give it a second draft. There are a whole bunch of things that I want to fix, add, and get rid of, expand on, describe, and make sound better. and I know for a fact that there are alot of places where I need to do "a lot"/"allot" conversions, and there are only about five places where "Siani" is spelt correctly.

After I get done, I'll post up Part 1: Draft 2. I'm shooting for doubling every section in size as well as doubling my page count. In the very least I'm going to go for a X1.5.

70 pages here we come!

There's only a few more sections to go before I take a break.

I decided I need time to make it better. I'm not saticfied with the writing, and I know I could make it better.

As well I need time to think of other charactors, and how they can make sense once in the story. the major problem here is that I sometimes forget about my own charactors I'll be writing and writing and I'll have to go back after saying "crap! I forgot to add that section about what happened to Antun!"

Which is the truth actually, as well I need to go back and make sure that Bishop and Shadow didn't die.

But any way this goes I hope I continue to please people, it hasn't been to bad so far has it? Except for my writing, I've devised a pretty bitchen' story here.

Any speculations as to who your charactor is going to be like, Sonzo? One of the problems I've been having with your charactor is that I know that "Sonzo" is a man's name from an anime, correct? So I can't very well call you "Sonzo" in the story if it's a man's name.

Ohhh, that is a nice suggestion. Thanks for the imput.

By "Edit" I mean that I added a few obligatory "and"s, changes all your "it's" to "its," changed some commas to semicolons, spelled things correctly, changed up spacing a little bit to read a little better, and put double-spaces in the conversations/paragraphs to make it easier to read, because I'm nitpicky like that before I read things. xd

Except for spelling in a few places and the semicolons-in-place-of-commas, I made sure and left speech completely intact without any of those "ands" because that's how the person speaks, and not the actual writing.

If you want a copy to look over and perhaps work on your draft from I can send it to you. I saved it on my computer as "Jimmy's Story So Far" so I could go back and read it. sweatdrop There's probably a few problems still in there, I weeded most of them out with MSWord's spell/grammar check. I found a couple more when reading and changed them mid-read, but I'm sure I probably missed *some* (not saying your writing's all that terrible, just saying that I'm inobservant, even when being nit-picky lol ).

In totally unrelated news: WHY AM I STILL AWAKE?!! gonk

....dammit now I feel like writing I blame you Jimmy

Haha, you don't have to bother with all that. If you really want to throw gold around, though, go ahead and donate some to the guild. razz

Bishop has given up sleeping for right now

Thanks a ton Bish.

And thanks for the story Twi. xd

You'll probably... hmmm... *thinks* You'll probably be Undakai the Great, ultimate vigilante and you'll kill the cat beast(the cute cat beast I might add >.<) and save the city and tame the army of cocos and take over the world and kill the prophets on accident, mwuhahahahahahahaha! (this is why I'm not writing a story with you all in it... sweatdrop )