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 Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:09 pm
i hate that adults think teens (and younger) are dumb because we think differently than them. i can get happy if i get a new pencil. i mean come on its school! pencils go fast! and when some one steals your pencils, pens, papers, notebooks and other school stuff we get really mad. the adults say its no big deal, its like 2 bucks. but when we tell our parents they freak. they yell for like 15 mins about the school, 10 about the other kids and their parents, 20 about how much school stuff costs, and then like 30 mins about how its our fault. ok maybe its just my mom whos does that, if it is only my mom...pity me crying
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:11 pm
ok like i was saying about i hate that adults think teens (and younger) are dumb because we think differently than them. how like we like um nickelback, 3 days grace and other bands and they think were idiots
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:33 am
please dont double post
and yeah, i hated that too when i was a teen
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 2:01 pm
gonk So now that I'm older, I have to get an upset stomach with cramps once a month. I can hardly eat food. xd
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 5:30 pm
I need venting time so...
I'm tired and annoyed with myself mostly and I just wish I could get over my anxiousness that seems to come out of nowhere sometimes. One minute I'm relaxed and happy and the next I'm anxious and angry for NO reason. Right now I'm just anxious about my classes, this semester was just built to kick my bum, I really wish I could have taken the one class I really needed this semester, but NOOOOO it just had to be full and I was early! Which pissed me off even worse...cause when I went to prepare my schedule I was on time and I got terrible hours and classes that I do need, but have 0 to do with what I really want to do with my life. *burns paper with my schedule*
The times I was late to make my schedule I actually had great hours and all the classes I wanted...I should just wait to the last minute from now on. *munches on burned paper*
So now I have this professor who's body just reeks with sarcasm and for some reason he looks like he's going to make my time with him hell.
I hope I got him pegged wrong though...he made us read the rules and in them he asked us to always go to his class with a positive attitude which makes me think that I might just miss his class this week...
So on top of all that I have a problem with my scholarship and unless I can somehow magically fix everything before August 29 all my classes are going to get canceled. Really, I'm going to kick my own bum if that happens.
So that's about it for my rant. blaugh
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 7:07 pm
I hate that I feel like there is no control over this, this situation and my feelings. I hate that I feel like a spoiled child for wishing ill on him. I hate that I have to realize all these things now, when I could have kept him forever and ever and ever and I would have been so happy. Now I know I was wrong. Dead wrong, but the only thing I can do is sit on the sidelines and wait. But he's too much of a gentleman to break it off with her, but not noble enough to leave me alone. I want to open my mouth and scream and scream and scream at him until he understands everything I've ever meant or said or implied but the words won't come and I'm still playing this game because I know I was wrong and I played him and the guilt just keeps coming and coming and coming but there is nothing I can do because he has the ball. It's in his court. And I want to tell him how it hurt when Adam did that to me, and I want to tell him how hollow it feels to have lost him, but I can't.
I have to keep everything bottled up. Because I'm supposed to be the noble one here, if he can't do it.
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:17 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 9:04 am
'attaboy.... Way to let it all out stare
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 6:05 pm
angel_half82 'attaboy.... Way to let it all out stare Yeah seriously. Come on, VENT. xd
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 6:07 pm
Hate the situation I'm in too. 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:58 am
>.> I suppose this would be a better place to vent then to dump it all on cami later... XD might make him feel a little better...
After years of trying to establish a sold relationship with my father Ive finally realized that It just may never happen and that he may never accept me. I understand now that all his nonsense about me not knowing him is really just his fear of not knowing me. It sounds backwards but thats because thats what it is. Everything about my father is backwards. Ive also come to the conclusion that even though I have grown so much over the past like 6 months he will never see it and he will always see me as weak because I choose to follow my heart. My whole life all I have ever done is seek to please him and I just will never be good enough for him. I have to accept that I will never be " Daddy's little girl " and that its ok. Still even knowing that it does nothing to comfort me. I dont like feeling sorry for myself but a part of me just cant help it. I was hoping so much that this time I could reach him. I couldnt reach him and now I feel like I have failed both my father and myself. Even worse... though I know if I hadnt called the cops the day my uncle threatened me I could have been killed... I cant help but feel guilty. Like maybe there was something else I could have done? I keep playing it out in my head over and over and over but I cant figure it out. I feel in a way that I am just running away but I dont know what else to do? In the end all that really matters now is that now I know in the 5 years we didnt speak to each other he really didnt change at all. He still does not know how to listen and I am still nobody to him. Sometimes I wish that I were more like him.. that way when I was hurt I could pretend like it was everyone elses fault and pretend like I didnt hurt at all. The only time Ive ever seen him cry was 3 weeks ago when I left him. He told me he loved me and that he was disappointed in me. He told me I crushed him. I couldnt help thinking... when do my feelings matter? When do I stop being one of your patients and become your daughter? Since I was little all hes ever done is compare me to them.. He told me there was nothing special about me and that he knew 20 other people just like me. So being his daughter is not special enough? I thought he would be proud of me... All this time Ive been threatening suicide and I finally chose life... but I guess he doesnt see that.... As if this thing with my father wasnt enough I feel like Ive abandoned Maggie and Shilo ( his dogs ) I promised them I would protect them and take care of them and never leave them and here I have totally abandoned them... and I KNOW they will be abused.... cant I do anything right?... there I go again feeling sorry for myself... its really sad.
I guess at the very least my summer wasnt boring...
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:43 pm
I feel so anxious. Like anythings going snap at any given moment. He wants to get back together. O_o I'm going crazy waiting for his facebook status to change. I want this so much, and now that I have it it's driving me nuts. gonk heart
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:47 pm
You need to calm down. heart
Just relax, because being wound up about it wont help at all.
Obvious advise FTL. V.V
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:49 pm
Teh Banz You need to calm down. heart Just relax, because being wound up about it wont help at all. Obvious advise FTL. V.V I feel like i'm in a cage. Moving doesn't help.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:54 pm
EggaxSponge Teh Banz You need to calm down. heart Just relax, because being wound up about it wont help at all. Obvious advise FTL. V.V I feel like i'm in a cage. Moving doesn't help. I dont know what to say that could be helpful. Sorry. gonk
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