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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 6:06 pm
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 7:33 pm
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 7:36 pm
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Smith nodded as Amaya closed the door behind her. This would stay between the adults, then. "There are actually three options. First, know yourself intimately enough that you can block out all impulses that may give rise to strength, interest, or other attention from your 'split' personality. Second, to have a telepathic Mutate perform a sort of psychic lobotomy on your mind, erasing the second personality entirely. Third, to go through self-inflicted emotional trauma so severe that your mind rejects itself and recreates itself from the ground up as two separate minds in one brain. I use the first, Orion used the third, and the second is almost sure to fail. The third, as well, would be horrifying for you specifically to contemplate. If you wish, I may help you with the first option."
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 8:05 pm
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A sorrowful smile rose to Amaya's lips at Smith's options once he had finished. "I've held this long under the first, but as you can see, it's failing me now. The second I'd have no interest in, and the third....the only trauma that could cause my mind to split and not just fracture like it is now...is Calista dying at my own hands. Sikes would stop me, and I can't even bring myself to do it. I won't do it. I don't want Calista to see me the way I am when my mind slips. That's not the way I want her to remember me." She told him quietly.
"Thanks for trying to help...really...thank you. But I'm okay. I know I'm going to have to sacrifice some part of myself if I want to regain control. As long as I have control over the shadows, my other half is manageable save the occasional slip. I've known for a while that I'd have to do this, just been putting it off. I killed a lot of people to try and appease the shadows. It worked, but they want to see commitment to allow control again, or else I just go back to violent flares when my emotions rise...." She told him, her eyes narrowing as she stared at her own shadow on the floor, though a wry smile now appeared on her face.
"I know it sounds weird...but...they are alive. They talk to me...bend to my will when I'm powerful...and lately I've just shown them I'll let anyone walk all over me...including them. I have to be selfish, just be the me I was before Adrian got here and all this happened. The shadows are exactly as everyone describes them, dark, foreboding, cover for monsters...if I want to win that fight tomorrow night and regain control, I'll have to be a true monster. I can do that without help from my darker half, and when the time comes I'm sure I'll understand what has to be sacrificed and do it. As long as it buys me a few more years before I become what I'll have to be tomorrow...I'll do it..." Amaya said, staring at the shadow a little longer until it darted away, snapping her out of it. "Hm. I am gloom and doom..." She said with a slight chuckle, having thought of the title that Adrian had dubbed her so many times. "Sorry to be all emo on you. But I have a feeling tomorrow will be the kind of fight you've been wanting to see. Show up or don't. But that's for trying to help." Amaya told Smith with a bright smile.
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 9:03 pm
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 9:13 pm
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 9:44 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 4:25 am
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 9:21 am
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 10:03 am
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 1:01 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 1:06 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 1:39 pm
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 10:13 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 2:01 pm
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