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 Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 7:41 am
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MissMunchieMonster D< Let him, he's being childish, he wants to have it his way regardless of your feelings. D: It's YOUR bday for pete's sake! What you have are serious concerns, he can't just assume everything will turn out fine... If he really wants to trow you a bash then he should plan it out better, like doing it somewhere where it's guaranteed that your uncle won't interfere. I don't know, I just think he should take what you have to say into consideration, take it seriously. XD I feel so strongly about this, please forgive my forwardness. XP 
D: you dont know my father... he just doesnt think like that. He thinks Im just acting afraid and hes not going to give into it. hes kinda crazy like that also MOTHER ******** WHEN DO I GET A MOTHER ******** BREAK?!! as if my father calling all night long to 9:30am wasnt ******** enough my a** hat mother takes one of my 10 ******** dollar art pens and uses it to write all over my new 15 dollar dog training book... and not only that SHE FORGETS TO PUT THE ******** CAP ON THE ******** ******** ASSHATS!!! D< ******** THIS s**t! IM SAVING AS MUCH MONEY AS I CAN AND IM MOVING AS FAR THE ******** AWAY FROM THESE TO ******** IDIOTS AS I MOTHER ******** CAN! |
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 12:47 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 12:49 pm
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*sigh* rant rant b***h b***h and here I go.....
I feel like I'm going in one giant ******** circle in my marriage, he promises to fix things and promises we'll do things together and share the workload. But two weeks two days some time passes by and nothing...so I do it myself and he gets pissed. Excuse me but the dog s**t is now petrified I think it should be picked up. It's like I'm supposed to work, cook, clean, get groceries, and still have the energy to ******** him before he goes to sleep and after he wakes up. I mean yes I know it's not just him, there are things I don't want to do either but I'm trying to fix it. I feel like whenever I talk he just tunes out, nods, and says he's sorry. "I'm sorry" I'm so disgusted by those words now and I have troubles believing anyone that says them. I almost walked out on him today...I almost didn't go home after we fought on the phone. But I did, and I knew exactly what would happen. He would come up say he's sorry hug me and kiss me, then we'd talk for a bit and he'd run off to play WoW. And I let it happen, because I still love him and he's all I have here. All of my family is back in nebraska and my best friend never calls anymore nor does she answer mine. I know he's stressed and I understand that, being in the Air Force does have its demands. But I don't get to come home and veg on the computer otherwise I get yelled at. And usually I'm up all night to make sure he gets up in the morning, so I'm sleeping during the day or I'm trying to clean or buying groceries. Having no idea what he wants and having him upset because I got the "wrong stuff". Then we fight again and I end up crying. I never used to cry like this, I used to feel strong and felt like I was in control. When we were dating and engaged we took care of eachother. I mean yeah we never lived together but we would take the time to see eachother everyday and try to plan our marriage. He promised so many wonderful things, and they were realistic. He promised that he would make us healthy meals so we could get into shape (I am over weight) he promised that he would help me get back into school. But I'm here working a job that I hate and getting bitched at because I don't want to cook, since he always tells me I do it wrong. I'm sorry that I don't cook like your mother did but I can't replace her! I'm not her and no matter how much I love her I don't want to be her. I want to be me, the person that he ******** married.He's changed so much and I didn't realize it before because I was so depressed about being away from my family. But he used to be so gentle and understanding. I mean if I told him before that I didn't want sex he would ask if I was ok and he would be fine with it. A little sore but fine. Now this moring I said no and he's slamming doors and throwing s**t around, he started to climb on top of me until I pushed him off. I was so scared to go back to sleep because I was afraid he'd do what he did before. And it's not like I say no because I don't want to be close to him. It's like I either feel sick or just don't feel sexy. Or like this morning I felt gross and sore from my pap smear I had yesterday. He said he was sorry and that he loves me, but I always wonder how much does he love me? I just want him to show me that he cares about me. I always ask him if he wants to go out with me and I have seriously bought him flowers before to show him how good it feels to get that. But he always says no to the dates and the flowers always get stuck somewere away from him and they die days later. I want to go home in october for my little sisters sweet 16, I'm saving up the money and I want him to go with me since my family really cares about him. He said that he has to check his leave time since he wants to take two weeks off for the new WoW expansion pack!! This is family and he's putting a game before them! It kills me inside because my little sister tells me that he's her favorite brother in law. We talked about going to marriage counseling and he said it was a good idea. But what gets to me is that most likely it won't happen because I'm not awake during usual business hours to make appts for it.
So I don't know what to think anymore. Some days I love him, other times I can't stand the sight of him, other days I'm just so confused. I hate who I am right now. I smoke a lot, I'm tired all the time, I've gained so much weight and have no energy to exercise. I'm not like begging for advice since I know that a lot of you aren't married, I just want a hug and for someone to tell me I haven't completely lost it.
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 1:03 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 1:21 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 2:18 pm
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I don't know, you did say he was all you had there and that your family loved him, maybe fear of what happens when you decide you need to leave?
Maybe you do love him, but if it's hurting you so much I can't say it's healthy for you at all. sad pineapple, don't stay with him if he keeps hurting you. If you guys try everything, but it still doesn't work then for your own sake you should break it of. I'm not saying drop everything just like that though, I'm saying that you need an ultimatum. If things don't start looking better than it's not going to work out. sad
Try the counseling, try talking with him about this and tell him that just saying I'm sorry won't cut it (don't let him win you over with that I'm sorry cause if you're saying he does that, but doesn't change then he's not really sorry), he has to really put an effort, not with words alone, but also with his actions. Maybe in the counseling you could bring it up, too, cause having someone there might help you get to him, if you guys are alone then he might not feel as pressured and might try to win you over just so he can go back to his ways again.
>_> pineapple feel better soon ok. heart
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:06 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:50 pm
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Pinapple, gonk You make ME feel like a happy-go-lucky little girl, even in the state I am this week...
I'm going to vent more, but nobody has to respond because I've done my fair share this week. xD
I'm stressed about all my classes, and I think it's because he's dumping her because she's an "underachiever". I'm already an overachiever...this stress isn't helping me and I really have to stop. After my math test on Monday I think I will be okay, hopefully. I feel really upset and depressed at home, but at school everything seems a little better. I think I'm having quite possibly a horrible week topped with PMS...soo....
To make life just THAT much better, one of my best friends is being really not supportive of me and my endeavors right now because she's questioning his motives. We're all tighter than peas in a pod...her reaction is making me really upset and even though I told her already what bothered me about what she said, the fact that her anger with the situation came before her happiness for me made me really sad. That's my job, I felt restless yesterday but today was better. My daddy came home from a business trip and that helped fill some of the hole. heart I missed him a lot, now that he's here I don't I'll be as stressed about my French homework or my Math test...
I want to be doing something other than homework, something productive, but I hardly have time, and exchanging has lost its appeal for the time being...[not like that's productive.] I really miss him, and I don't know if I should call him and blahblahblah. I'm so tired I want to crash, but I miss all my friends terribly even though I saw them all last weekend. I feel so alone, even though my mom has been trying to get me through this all week.
I need to start this week over, please. xD
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 7:09 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 7:49 pm
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@pineapple: I'm going o be really forward and really direct about this because I don't like dancing around things, sorry if you think it's rude.
It sounds to me like he spends far too much time on WoW. Do you both work? That could be part of it. If I were you, I'd honestly take away the computer. If I had to, I'd take it apart when he wasn't there to stop me and then when he got home I'd tell him we needed to spend time together not off doing our own thing. And I'd probably try to get him to help me cook so that maybe he'd not complain about the food so much or to go to the store with me because if he's going to complain, he should buy his own food. Ask him to do the dishes with you, like one of you washes and the other rinses and dries things. Take that time to just calm down and breathe and discuss things like work and things that are bothering you both outside of your relationship before you get into it all. I think you need to rebuild trust that seems to have disappeared. Also, about counseling, you could always contact multiple counselors and see if anyone is willing to work with you on an irregular schedule or on weekends or times you don't work or if you attend a church regularly you could ask your pastor for counseling. I wouldn't actually go with an ultimatum or say you might leave him because that will probably just aggravate things. I mean, I know if my significant other were to say he would leave me if something he wanted didn't happen, I'd probably just be stubborn and challenge him by not complying. And you don't want more fighting than there already is. Also, about the sex, I'd tell him that you don't want to have any right now or for a while, that you need time to reconnect emotionally and that will only get in the way. Maybe take a day off work, call in sick, both of you and watch a movie or go for a walk somewhere and talk, and just calm down and try to work things out rationally. Also, if you're afraid of a loud, ridiculous fight, then go somewhere public, things are less likely to happen when people are around, regardless of how angry he is. I think if you loved him before and you still feel you love him, it's worth investing time and energy and care into fixing the relationship. :]
@egga-boo: awwww honey you need to just take a deep breath and stop stressing so much. This guy sounds great and I'm not sure why your friend would be so concerned. I'd just sit down and spend time on other things. The more you think about it, the more nervous and stressed you'll become and talking to him right now may not be the best idea for that reason.
and anyway... on to my things xD
long story short: haven't heard from my beau in a good getting onto three weeks and it's driving me nuts
I'm going to be gone this weekend which is when he's around to contact and he won't talk on the phone because he keeps complaining that he doesn't like it so I leave him messages every week or so telling him I miss him and I love him.
I know he loves me still and nothing is really wrong but to find out that I miss hearing from him because I'm out being busy or having fun, just drives me nuts and I end up freaking out and it's not fun.
I don't by any means want to go anywhere close to breaking up with him, it's just getting to me a little bit.
Wish he'd answer the phone once in a while or call me back, though.
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:21 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:32 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 9:11 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 9:42 pm
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Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:31 am
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teh sexiful nerdy @pineapple: I'm going o be really forward and really direct about this because I don't like dancing around things, sorry if you think it's rude.
It sounds to me like he spends far too much time on WoW. Do you both work? That could be part of it. If I were you, I'd honestly take away the computer. If I had to, I'd take it apart when he wasn't there to stop me and then when he got home I'd tell him we needed to spend time together not off doing our own thing. And I'd probably try to get him to help me cook so that maybe he'd not complain about the food so much or to go to the store with me because if he's going to complain, he should buy his own food. Ask him to do the dishes with you, like one of you washes and the other rinses and dries things. Take that time to just calm down and breathe and discuss things like work and things that are bothering you both outside of your relationship before you get into it all. I think you need to rebuild trust that seems to have disappeared. Also, about counseling, you could always contact multiple counselors and see if anyone is willing to work with you on an irregular schedule or on weekends or times you don't work or if you attend a church regularly you could ask your pastor for counseling. I wouldn't actually go with an ultimatum or say you might leave him because that will probably just aggravate things. I mean, I know if my significant other were to say he would leave me if something he wanted didn't happen, I'd probably just be stubborn and challenge him by not complying. And you don't want more fighting than there already is. Also, about the sex, I'd tell him that you don't want to have any right now or for a while, that you need time to reconnect emotionally and that will only get in the way. Maybe take a day off work, call in sick, both of you and watch a movie or go for a walk somewhere and talk, and just calm down and try to work things out rationally. Also, if you're afraid of a loud, ridiculous fight, then go somewhere public, things are less likely to happen when people are around, regardless of how angry he is. I think if you loved him before and you still feel you love him, it's worth investing time and energy and care into fixing the relationship. :]
@egga-boo: awwww honey you need to just take a deep breath and stop stressing so much. This guy sounds great and I'm not sure why your friend would be so concerned. I'd just sit down and spend time on other things. The more you think about it, the more nervous and stressed you'll become and talking to him right now may not be the best idea for that reason.
and anyway... on to my things xD
long story short: haven't heard from my beau in a good getting onto three weeks and it's driving me nuts
I'm going to be gone this weekend which is when he's around to contact and he won't talk on the phone because he keeps complaining that he doesn't like it so I leave him messages every week or so telling him I miss him and I love him.
I know he loves me still and nothing is really wrong but to find out that I miss hearing from him because I'm out being busy or having fun, just drives me nuts and I end up freaking out and it's not fun.
I don't by any means want to go anywhere close to breaking up with him, it's just getting to me a little bit.
Wish he'd answer the phone once in a while or call me back, though.
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