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 Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:59 am
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Story : She was raised in a herd, in a land, where purity of heart was as important as purity of blood. Any and all with mutations or signs of the demonic were outcast and hated. Akahi knew nothing but the teachings of her herd, she believed them all, but there were stirrings in her heart that told her they could be wrong. That was when she met Tempest.
He was part wind, part uni, and part kalona. His father was obsessed with their demonic heritage, fancying himself as powerful as they, and was cruel beyond measure to those that disagreed. Those that were lesser. Tempest riled against this, despite his own need for blood once in awhile. When Akahi and Tempest met, they were weary of each other but already falling in love.
They rebelled against both of their respective families and ran away to another part of the world. Constantly living on the run, only daring to move at night when they would be harder to spot, they slowly made their way to the Kawani lands and a mysterious forest. Akahi did not wish to live in or even near the forest they had found, but soon after she became pregnant. Tempest began displaying signs that not all was right, but the mare was so pleased to finally be having children to the love of her life that she ignored his behavior. Then the children were born. Placed into their baskets.
Quote: I've always wanted a baby, a child of my own to love and cherish. I can't begin to tell you how happy I was when I realised that I was with child and couldn't wait to tell my mate the good news. Oh, we'd tried so hard before! I was so close to giving up, but the spirits in Heaven deemed it was time; and thus, I was impregnated with my love's baby.
Since the pregnancy and my foal being placed in it's basket as is customary I've been feeling more and more anxious about our foal. After being so startled by the strange, no terrifying, basket the two-leggers had put my precious child into I felt more and more convinced that it was all a mistake. Why would they put my beautiful son or daughter into such a horrific looking basket? That was where I made my first mistake. The foolish blunder of sneaking a peek into the basket.
I'd had lingering memories of a deformed foal from when I'd given birth, but surely nothing the gods would gift me would be so hideous so I'd pushed the images away as post-birth dillerium.
I'd been so wrong.
My child is indeed ugly and twisted. Surely it must be something from my mate's side, as I've never met his family, and my own heritage is too just and faithful to the spirits to have anything so demonic tainting our blood. I just know it's my stallion's fault. I just know it. I attempted to confront him about it, just once, but he refused to talk to me. He even went so far as to not even look at me for several days!
What scares me the most is all the confusion I'm feeling. All the divided thoughts and feelings that haunt me in my dreams and during the day. I don't think I've done anything wrong that this could be my fault, but why does my mate act like it is? Why won't he speak to me? Why won't he just tell me what he did?
What did I do to deserve this?
I can't even look at the basket anymore. At first I'd tried, despite my terror of the creature inside of it. Now though, I can't even do that. The most I can do is watch around the basket to be sure no harm comes to it, and even that is starting to become a chore. The more I'm around the monstrous thing, the more I can feel it's soul calling out to me. Searching for something innocent and pure to latch onto. To draw the life from. It's all starting to be too much.
All I've ever wanted was a baby, a child of my own to love and cherish. Instead I was given a monster.
Since giving birth to children that were clearly not Tempest's, but rather someone else of a more tainted persuasion, Akahi has become more vehement in her past herd's beliefs. She cannot look at a "monster" breed without becoming inconsolably wrathful. Driving out her own son, and never even conversing or recognising her daughter, Akahi has split her own family apart. The same family she was so before elated to be starting. She no longer has contact of any kind, other than mournful and angry passings, with her children. She has not seen Tempest at all since the birth of the monster foals.
Personality : It once was that Akahi's mood depended on those around her. Those she saw as "worthy and pure" were met with warmth and kindness. Whereas those that were physically demonic-looking, those that were clearly of kalona or mutated blood, were met with rage. Akahi was the embodiment of wrath.
As she's grown older, and with the help of Richmon and Indah, she's slowly becoming much more tolerant. Even to the point where she delights in being around her friend's half-kalona son and their herd of "anything goes". She still has a very hard time coming to terms with the nature of her own children, and wanting to forgive Tempest is non-existent, but Akahi is slowly healing.
Family : Son - Diriel // Daughter - Hrimfaxi
Love : Tempest None
Friends & Monsters :
Richmon - The Judge - What started as a refusal to see eye-to-eye has become something of a friendship. He is very intent on healing me and helping me to see with a more open heart. I feel he needs to learn to lighten-up and realise that he can't be the judge and jury for all.
Indah - The best friend - My past herd mate, but so much more than that. Like sisters from foalhood, I never got a chance to say goodbye to her when I fled with Tempest. I had no idea she'd soon be forced from the herd herself. Somehow we've both found ourselves in the same land again, and I can't say how much I adore her and her child.
Einnar - Indah's son - I did not think I could come to appreciate the smouldering anger of a Kalona, but the boy makes it work. He has his own rage to work through with our past herd, his own healing to do, but I feel his ever-growing herd and the love of his mother are helping that. I can't wait to see him come to grips with the nature of his friendship with Viraj. |
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Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 12:41 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 1:48 am
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Akahi & Richmon Meet Thamin Richmon folded his wings to his side, diving from the clouds to the earth below. He landed suddenly and softly, flaring out his wings at the last moment so not to crash; a move he did on a regular basis. He snorted, his wings once more going to his sides as he surveyed the area. Hot Lolli Akahi: Emboldened by the lack of her children, or any other monsterous creatures, about steped even more openly into the middle of the clearing with a soft smile. As she was bending to nibble a blade of grass, she noticed a flash of white against the sky. It was soon followed by a strangely winged stallion and the soft thud of his landing. "Great," she muttered. "A freak." Thamin Richmon gazed at each soquili, assessing them, judging them. Sinners, almost every one of them... Unworthy of the golden fields that He above had ready for them after death. They needed to be cleansed. It was then that the blue colored mare with bands in her mane spoke of him. He turned to her, his head lowered so that his golden horn was aimed at her. Glowing eyes un-blinking he frowned at her. "Pride..." He spoke to her. It was her sin.
Judge of the Damned? Hot Lolli Flipping her mane over her neck, Akahi sniffs angrily at Zul' and mumbles incoherantly something about feathered freaks. Thamin Richmon, who had been gazing at the heavens, turned his gaze to the blue mare he had met once before; the prideful one. "Hmm...." He muttered to himself as he watched her actions, herd her words. Time had done nothing for her; she continued on in her sinful and self righteous ways blind to the wrongs she was committing and hurt she placed upon others. A truly awful way to live. He snorted at the thought. Hot Lolli Akahi instantly spotted the large-winged stallion from the last time she'd ventured out, and now she remembered why it'd been so long. Replying with a snort of her own, she stopped a few paces from him and smiled indulgantly. "Have more words to sway me from my terrible ways, again?" Thamin Richmon's gazed flickered for a moment to the gray mare and the foal. "Wrath..." He muttered, keeping an eye on the situation. He would not let an innocent be harmed beyond his repair, though he would prefer not to have the child harmed at all. He'd have to keep an eye on this one, this gray mare. Judgment would be brought down quickly if need be. As the mare seemed to be distracted by an unknown being he turned back to the Blue mare, keeping an eye on the gray mare, and replied in a calm emotionless voice. "Why do you choose to push others away?" Hot Lolli Following Richmon's gaze to the form of her herdmate, Akahi stepped forward until she was sure she was blocking his view. At least partially. Refusing to look at the stallion, every muscle in her body tensed at his question. Who was he to ask her such things? He had no idea what she'd gone through, and just recently too! Still torn up inside from every encounter she'd had with her own son, tears threatened to pour out of her. "I push others away because once upon a time when I didn't the worst thing imaginable thing happened to me." Thamin Richmon cocked his head to the side, eying her for a moment. "You arent burning in hell right now; so no, the worst thing imaginable did not happen to you. But in time it will..." Richmon said to the blue mare, continuing on in his unwavering and emotionless voice. He had hit a soft spot for her; posibly the root to the problem. Only time would tell. Hot Lolli With a choke, Akahi stared at the stallion next to her. Sputtering silently she couldn't think of anything polite to say in return to that. "B-burning in hell?" Was he serious?! If he was so wise, and so good at reading other, than he would know what her children were. "My- My-- My own son is from the depths of hell." Glancing at Richmon with fire in her eyes, she used every part of herself to keep her tone level. "Do you know what it is like to be a mother and witness as you give birth to demons? To wonder why you've been punished so badly when all you did was love your mate? To give up all you'd known to be with the one stallion that made you truly happy and then give him monsters instead of children?" Thamin Richmon didnt show any sympathy for the mare. She had already shown that her idea of a demon was anything different than her. Flesh and bone only go so far, it withers and turns to dust; it is meaningless to look beautiful or normal if the soul inside is ugly and deformed. "Did your children actually prove to be demons in any way other than in their looks?" He questioned coolly, delving deeper into her. "Or did you shun them based on only skin deep characteristics before you even got to know them?"
Hunger Pains Thamin of XIRA: Richmon lay beneath a large leafless tree near the edge of a clearing. He was silent, contemplative - He glowing eyes gazing out accross the field of browning grass. Death. Winter was coming, and though it was not his first in this world it was the first he had truly noticed. A cool wind swept accross the field, ruffeling the feathers of his wings and his cape. To say the least the events of nature and the world had shocked him. He had dealt with the dead his entire exsistance and yet he had never seen the cold grasp of the undertaker at work. But there was a reason for everything - only what could it be? He didnt know...CrackedOutFerret: This time of the year had always been a source of alarm and worry for Akahi, it was even moreso this time around. Last year it had been the start of her pregnancy with foals. With children to call her very own... This year it brough grief and a lack of understanding on her part that she felt more keenly than she cared to. Her stomach growled, but she ignored the dying grasses to search out the last of the ripe apples. It'd been the spot of red that had drawn her closer to this part of the lands she now inhabited, but as she got there she could tell it was him. Richmon, the Judge. Did she stay and move forward? Did she turn and flee before he could sense her?
Her stomach answered for her, and closer she went.Thamin of XIRA: A fleck of blue slowly, heaitantly, moved closer in Richmon's view - an insubstantual and unfocused blure that grew into a blotch that blotted out the sceanery. After some time he could no longer ignore the blob that obscured his view and was forced to refocuse on the growing object. He blinked slowly - of all the beings in this mortal world to come accross him in this state it had to be the one he called Wrath. Ironic - on such a sullen day the most difficult of subjects would arrive. Everything hd a reason; right? He gave a soft sigh, his white lips barely moving. He lowered his head for a moment, attempting to remember the customs of the living she had chastized him about so long ago. Slowly he brought his gaze once more up to the mare and nodded. "Hello," he greeted, a custom he believed was not needed but apparently was widely accepted. He knew not what else to say to the mare - she seemed busy, and through their dificulties in the past he assumed it would be best not to begin immediatly delving into the enigma that she was.CrackedOutFerret: At least he was polite enough to greet her first this time. She didn't think it sourly like she normally did, just a fact as she looked about for food. Finding none, and giving up, she settled herself not far from him and nodded. "Hello." Akahi wasn't sure she wanted to start a conversation with the winged stallion, or if she'd really know how to in any case. She could always feel his glowing eyes peering into her. Not at her, always in her; as if he could see into her head. Or was trying to. It gave her the shivers, but not always in a bad way. More like in a guilty way. She hated that feeling.Thamin of XIRA: He watched Wrath - She was not her usual self - or what he had come to know as her usual self. Like the time before when she had been gazing longingly at the odd family she did not display any signs of anger. It was as if the emotion was not even there anymore. He couldnt help but be curious about the sudden change in demeanor. "Does something trouble you?" He asked softly, emotionlessly. A connection dawned on him, an Epiphany of sorts, about his suroundings. As nature had become cold and still, lifless in a way, not posessing the spark it once had, so had she. By now she would have made a snide remark - yet none came. a tear of blood dripped down his cheek as he gazed at her, an event that had been happening since he had come to this world. "It seemes as though the cold brings with it many things..." Softly he spoke, not to Wrath, but as he was looking at her it may have been taken as such - he realized this only after the words flowed from his tongue.CrackedOutFerret: She watched. Watched as he bled from the eyes and it confused her. It almost made her angry, but as she felt the cold wind on her hide and watched what remained of the birds in these parts fly overhead she shook her head. Akahi wasn't sure if she was shaking her head because she disagreed, or just to do it. She still didn't quite know what she was going to say or do when she opened her mouth to speak. "Doesn't something always trouble me?" Swallowing down the feeling of bile and sadness that came with that thought, she shrugged softly and spoke just as quietly. "Winter brought me children last year. I am not sure I want to know what it will bring me, or take from me, this year." Maybe that was the problem. Perhaps she just shouldn't have ever woken this morning.Thamin of XIRA: Richmon's gaze dropped to the ground as Wrath spoke. An enigma indeed was she. He had been in this world for a year, and though he had been her for a year he had apparently learned nothing. He was greatly confused, though it didnt show on his face. He staired blankly at the ground. He begain to speak, attempting to figgure out his thoughts. "Everything Happens for a reason..." Richmon offered - the one thing he knew to be true. It was the one thing his views could not be changed on - but it was dificult to no longer know the reason - to no longer be able to see the before and after in an instant. "Though we may not know what it is, it is always for the better... Always... " The last word he whispered, remembering what it felt like to be cast out of purgatory. Had there too been a reason for his banishment? He cast the thought aside - now was not the time. "It takes time though; one simply has to wait." He could sence her sadness - An emotion he had come to feel from many in this world, yet he didnt know what it was. He lifted his gaze to the mare once more. Though he did not trust her, did not find her wise or very knowledgeable of the world or heavens, she was the one being he spoke with the most. Perhaps, for once, he could put aside his duties to indulge his curioity and asuage his confusion. "Forgive me for delving into your life - but I do not understand what you seem to be. I've been told the word is sad, and it is a feeling - but..." He paused, finding that in his odd state of contemplation he was even more curious about, of all things, the very emotions that formed into sins. "What is it?" He continued.
A Strange Salvation Richmon lands not too far from Akihi after her company left. He eyed her for a moment. "Are you feeling...." He searched his mind for the appropriate words. "Well? You seem not your self as of late." Akahi : I am ... I am not sure. I thought I could smell you when I was speaking with him. Richmon nodded. "I was here for a brief moment; but you were in conversation. It would have been rude for me to interrupt." Hmm... Not sure? How could one be not sure as to whether they were well or ill. "I didnt mean to be so quick to the question; you have just seemed, from what I saw of your conversation and of our own last encounter, less...." He paused a moment and ruffled his wings, pondering different terminology that what he typically used for her. Yet, none fit. "Wrathful as of late." Akahi : Yes, I do suppose that it would have been. *Ponders what he is saying slowly* You really do not get it, do you? At my core I am not angry, or wrathful as you would say. At my core I am hurt, scared, and alone.Richmon furrowed his brow as he gazed at 'Wrath' and took in her comment. "And yet... You continue to hurt and push away others. It is one of the many things I have yet to understand. I have seen your sadness seep through your usual composure before, your hurt has been explained before; yet I do not see what there is to keep you from being happy other than your Wrath towards those that are different, your Envy of those that have happiness, and your Pride that wont allow you to change to be happy." He looked down to the ground after he spoke. He had, as he had learned before, overstepped his boundaries. He sighed softly, raising his head to look at the mare once more. Softly he spoke, "I apologize; but is it not true?" Akahi : *Sighs and drops to her knees on the ground* It is the truth. You're absolutely correct, and I must commend you on your ability to pin-point the cause of problems. *Pauses to choose her words carefully* What you seem to fail so miserably at, and I mean that literally and not to be mean, is understanding that emotions and the common brain is not truly so easily separated the way you want them to be. We're emotional, and emotions are illogical.
Just because I am those things, just because I know that I am, just because I truly do want to change ... It doesn't happen overnight. One cannot simply say to themselves, I refuse to use my heart and so I will only do what my head and logic tell me. I will be better right this instant. It isn't possible.Richmon knew he did not understand emotions; they were still beyond his grasp. Despite this, and adding in the fact that the mare was unhappy with her life as it was, he still could not see what held her back. He shook his head. "I still do not see what keeps you from being happy. Perhaps you could enlighten me a bit more?" He stepped forward and nudged the mare with his nose, trying to get her back on to her hooves. "You say that with emotions you must listen to the wants of your heart, that you must heed their words before logic - Does your heart demand your sorrow? Logic does not bring happiness though, just understanding and sound..." He paused before the next word. "Judgment." He had not spoken it in quite some time; it seemed somewhat foreign to the tongue now. Akahi : I care not for judgement, Richmon. It does not mean anything to me anymore, as judgement and judging others is part of the problem. *Ignores his nudges to get up and looks to him with sad eyes* I ran away my son because looking at him frightened me right down to my core, not because of what he looked like, but because I knew that somehow it was my fault. Something in me was sick and wrong and it had changed my chil'd shape. That was wrong, I was wrong. Then I ran off my mate with anger when I learnt that it wasn't my fault, that it was his and he'd lied to me but I couldn't tell my children.
...There is no happiness in that because I burnt my bridges before I knew not to, and now I can never explain myself to my children. I have lost them, and I am sure that I am dead to them. "My mention of judgment was not meant in judgment of you. We both know how my judgment turned out; I was only partially correct. It was simply an explanation of how logic isnt necessary for happiness." He paused as she looked up at him; and as he gazed down at her, into the cloudy blue pools of sorrow, he couldnt help but wonder what it might be like if he could feel this sadness. He imagined it wouldnt be pleasant, judging from the agony the mare had been in since she first mentioned her children nearly a year ago; but maybe, just maybe, it might help him better understand. It had been a breakthrough though, and now the healing could begin. Not once in their many meetings, despite what he tried, had 'Wrath' ever admitted what it was that truly caused her troubles. And now, of all times, he was at a loss as to what to say. "Logic, and my past profession, tells me that there was always a way to redeem one's self..." He started slowly. "Though I would not know where to start in the case of your children. I am sure though; given time, effort, and possibly more pain, that the bridges that were once burned may be re-built." He paused and nudged the mare once more in a futile attempt to get her to stand. "Would you ever be willing to go through that?" Akahi simply rolled over onto her side. It took too much effort to stand just now, like her heart was so heavy that it was creating it's own gravity and connecting her to the earth beneath her. She wasn't sure what he meant about the judgement not being of her, or what his past profession was. Though at some point she might have, or could be, curious about it. Closing her eyes, she huffed lightly and in turn ignore the cloud of cold dust that raised. "Go through with rebuilding the bridges I destroyed in my fear?" She asked it quietly, but knew that's what he meant. Akahi was painfully aware just how horrible an ordeal trying to reconnect with her children was going to be. Never Tempest though. Never. "Yes," she finally answered him. "I am willing to go through that. Though I do not know how to go about it, or how to find Diriel. He's probably off with his new Mother somewhere wonderful." Looking back up at Richmon, a flash of the wrath he knew came back. It was only there for a moment but it was there. "I cannot with my mate, though. That was not a relationship that I burned, that was him. It wasn't that he made the deal he did. The one that resulted in my chidlren; it was that afterwards he let me torment myself with lies while he knew the truth. How could one ever find trust again from a situation like that?" She sure as hell didn't know. It hurt to think about, after all they'd been through ... But she'd rather find new love than place her heart into his care again. Richmon's head tilted a bit as the mare lay down. Richmon wondered if the mare was indeed ill, as most soquili did this when ill. That or trying to sleep, though it did not seem as though the mare was attempting to do so. Though, as the mare was incapable of standing, and it did not seem right to continue hovering over the broken mare, richmon slowly lowered his body to the ground, his forelegs tucked under him and his wings folded tightly to his sides. "As long as you are willing there is still a posibility of happiness." He said softly. It seemed as though it was not only sadness and pain in the mare now, but a trace of hopelessness. He had seen many souls lost to the lack of hope, and this one, the one he had tried to cleanse so long ago, would not be one. "If you are true to your words and indeed wish to get in contact with your children, I offer my assistence." The flash of anger came as no surpriise to richmon as she mentioned her mate - he had hurt her, her wrath was towards his actions. He could not say that denying forgiveness of her mate was right, after all it would be the same as her children denying her forgiveness, but it would be up to her mate to rebuild that bridge and make amends for the wrongs he had done her. It was not Richmons buisness, in other words, unless her wrath towards her mate inhibited her from purging herself of the sorrow she now posessed. The only answer he had for her final question was time and pain - but he figgured the question was better left unanswered. Instead he ignored it and added to his offer. "I can try and help you make amends, help you look, help you find happiness again; if you will let me." Akahi snorted, but not so much in derision as she would have once before but more because for some reason the last bit of his offer sounded like he wanted to lifemate with her. Not help her fix what was so very broken between her and her children. Laughing a little at that thought, she wobbled her head to clear it as she knew that wasn't what he was doing. Rolling back up to fold herself against the ground in the same manner Richmon was, Akahi whickered softly just to make noise. "Ultimately I need to forgive myself before I could ever ask them to do so. That won't be something you can talk me through, or help me with at all. Only I can do that, and it will be more difficult than ever finding and asking the same from my children. Especially my son." Fidgeting again, she moved her head to flop the ginormous beads that bound her mane against one another. It helped her think, and it broke the silence as she did so. "Once I have overcome that, I would be more than willing to accept your help in finding my children and happiness." Richmon nodded. It was true, she would have to make ammends with herself before she could make amends with anyone else. |
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 2:15 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 2:45 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 3:02 am
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Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 12:06 am
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