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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:37 pm
Balthazar lay there for some time with a tired smile on his face, as though he'd had a taste of pure ecstasy, though the feeling wore off faster than he would have liked. He lay staring up at the ceiling with one arm around her, feeling pretty dirty now after basically lying to her the way he did. The question was, when would he stop?
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:50 pm
Ophelia layed beside Balthazar for the longest while, enjoying the silence and comfort of his company for quite a while before eventually drifting off to sleep. She looked so peaceful and happy as she slept, which probably didn't help the guilt from Balthazar's lie all that much.
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 9:09 pm
The next morning Balthazar was up before Ophelia, sitting on the edge of the bed as he ran a hand through his hair. He'd pulled the sheets over to cover his bits and was trying to sort out just what he did last night. "...I can't do this..." he muttered to himself with a sigh as he buried his face in his hands.
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 9:16 pm
Ophelia woke up not long after Balthazar did, not quite bothering to get up yet not bothering to try and fall back asleep either. She watched him just sit there for several moments before eventually asking in a groggy tone of voice, "Is something the matter?"
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 9:35 pm
"...I can't do this." Balthazar said again as he looked up at the ceiling. "I came into existence from Kaistern's fear, and hate, and loneliness, and all that negative crap that weighs a person down. I'm not used to feeling so....light and fluffy like he is; I thought it'd be easier to just...be him, you know? Turns out pretending to be yourself, in a certain sense, is harder than I thought."
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 9:50 pm
Ophelia sat herself up as she listened to what Balthazar had to say. She didn't truly understand all of it for the moment being, but knew just enough to know that he was having yet another existantial crisis moment. "Your rocky origins don't entitle you to a life of permanent stress and misery, Balthazar. You have just as much a right to happiness and the occasional peaceful moment as Kaistern does." She slowly crawled over to offer a gentle hug from behind and rest her head on one of his shoulders. Ophelia wasn't thinking of much beyond their conversation, so she didn't understand how this might be viewed as a little inappropriate for the moment being. "Wait... I don't quite understand what you mean by 'pretending to be him', though. Do you mind elaborating that point for me?"
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 10:28 pm
"Take a guess! We never switched off!" Balthazar said looking away from her in guilt, somehow feeling worse by having to explain it. "Kaistern hasn't come out since before we went off on your job!"
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 10:43 pm
Ophelia was silent for several moments, thinking over exactly what to say and mulling over how she felt about it. She was upset that she'd been tricked into sex, but in all honesty, Ophelia couldn't blame Balthazar for his reasons and behavior lest she be throwing rocks in glass houses. Self loathing and uncertainty could easilly make people do stupid or unreasonable things, after all. The only sign as to how she was taking it would probably be the fact that she didn't let go or move her head away from his shoulder. "You said you thought that it would be easier to just be him for a little while. I don't like that you lied to me, but I can certainly understand the feeling." Earlier on, Ophelia would often wish she were someone else. Someone better, someone more suited to the world she lived in. Someone who deserved to be happy. Kaistern inevitably pulled her out of such thoughts of self-loathing, but Ophelia never once forgot how it felt to drown oneself in that sort of misery. "All I can say is that you and Kaistern are both better than you think you are and that you shouldn't try to be someone you're not to get what you want. If you don't know what to say to me, just put it as best as you can. I'll understand more than you think, assuming you're more honest with me in the future." Ophelia wasn't about to start shaming Balthazar for his poor choices. Still, she retained the right to feel dissappointed in him for being so dishonest towards her. (She would also know to make sure who was who in future situations like this one.)
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 11:07 pm
((ADSKFDJKLD HOMESTUCK UPDATED AND IT'S INTERACTIVE AND HNNNNGG))
"I just...I don't know. You should know by now that words and feelings aren't my strong suit. They're his." Balthazar hunched over a bit as if trying to curl up into a ball and just vanish, though he moved one hand on top of Ophelia's for comfort. "I...want to be with you..." he mumbled. "Seeing the way you two act...kinda makes me jealous. Yeah, I'm seeing and feeling everything he does, but it's not the same being a...a passenger to it all. I want to feel it firsthand for a change."
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 11:20 pm
{ALL THE YAYS.}
"If your words fail you then let your actions speak in their stead." Ophelia moved her head to lightly kiss Balthazar on the cheek. (She figured it was okay, seeing as how Kaistern hadn't taken over and gotten angry or anything.) "We'll have to do more things like this in the future, then."
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 11:28 pm
((And for the update-appropriate cherry on top...))
It still didn't feel right somehow, but at least she wasn't mad. She was okay with it and that's all he could ask for right now. "Yeah." Balthazar smiled meekly before returning the kiss.
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 11:40 pm
{New headcanon voice for the Condecse, or however the hell her name is spelled. emotion_kirakira }
Ophelia kept snuggled close to Balthazar for awhile longer before moving to go finish the needed paperwork she'd previously abandoned at her desk. After reading over the daily reports, profits, and news on the current royal family of course.
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Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 12:08 am
((*squee!* More pre-scratch ancestors!....You, uh....you might wanna grab a snack when you get to Karkat's ancestor. He's....wordy...))
Kaistern yawned after being granted proper control again. "This has certainly become an interesting relationship." he mused as he gave Ophelia a kiss on the cheek. "And I promise it's actually me this time."
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Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 12:17 am
{I'll keep that in mind for when I get back on a computer versus the iPod I'm using now~ :3}
Ophelia moved to kiss Kaistern back, a grin forming upon her lips once again. "You can certainly say that again." After reading over certain reports she'd recieved Ophelia looked practically giddy. "Oohohoho! Looks like I've got a bit of dirt on our usurper!"
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Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 12:59 am
((This is....this is quite the thing. Make sure you have free time because this thing is looooong.))
"Really?! What is it?!" Kaistern asked excitedly, happy to hear some good news on the vengence front.
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