THE ANGST ZONE (Use this, for the love of internetz! ><)

[Allah The Eternal]

-I have a two page paper, thats due this friday.....and I haven't started writing yet (procrastination is a b***h).

- My mom thinks I need an exorcism, because of a comment I made last night at the dinner table. Whatever happened to freedom of speech?

- I was almost suspened... (******** YOU MR. JONES)

and....

to make things worse.....

I have a nasty headache. It feels like my head is about to split open....and this medication is not helping.

So, anybody else have a ******** up week? lol  

[Kalstolyn]

Allah The Eternal

So, anybody else have a ******** up week? lol

The souls of the righteous
are in the hand of God

In the past week, 4 people who I know or know of have died. They were all young. I also watched a little old lady get run over by some b***h who wasn't watching where she was going. Your week sounds fantastic to me.

Kals' Collaborative Crossword Puzzle!

and the pain of Death
shall not touch them

 

[Celestial Burden]

If anyone reads this, you all may very well perhaps think I am the most pathetic person to ever exist.

I've allowed my entire world to fall apart because of two people. Two very important people to me that meant more than anyone else. There was no romantic connection to either of them. That would be stupid considering my age. No, these people were just...my closest friends, people that I cared, or rather care, all too much about.

For two years, I've allowed myself to be broken up over one person. Alex was... he was someone I would trust my life with. Someone that knew more about me than most anyone else except for the second person to be mentioned. Alex cut off contact with me two years ago. No telling me why, no warning, no slowly happening. Just...disappearing. I've seen him maybe five times. Perhaps it sounds stupid just reading it, but it's painful. The last conversation I had with him ended with me saying, "Yeah, Alex, that's great. You make friends to be stepped on in the end" because I've heard it said he despises me. He made no move to deny this. He made no move to confirm it. I don't care if he hates me, I want to hear it from him. I want acknowledgment.

I trusted him. I thought that he trusted me. I thought that we were friends. I thought that he thought of me the way that I did of him. He was important to me, and to have this happen.. Alex was one of my supports. He was how I dealt with things and we confided in one another. Not just me in him, but he confided in me as well. To have that just cut off.. parts of my world began to fall apart. I had little left. There's more to this, but I'm afraid I do not know how to put it into words. The worst part of this all is that... if he asked, I would still do anything for him. I want to hate him. I hate him, and I hate him because I can't hate him. It's damn near painful to go outside and see him talking to people, laughing..and not sparing me so much as a second glance. To have him look right through me as though I don't exist.

Onto Joey. Joey was someone I had left after the thing with Alex, and not directly after. He suddenly reappeared in my life not long ago. Joey and I had been all too close with one another before, but then we both got busy and stopped talking quite so much. When he showed up again.. I was so happy. I was damn near obsessed with him. Ecstatic that I had someone to trust again. I had no worries about losing him in friendship. He was the only friend that I could completely let loose around. I was myself and no one else. There were no parts missing or fabricated. Sounds fine and dandy, right?

Joey moved across the country perhaps two months ago. Without telling me. He had no intentions of telling me. I have no way to contact him. I've lost him for a second time, and I've lost the only person I had left. My life has completely fallen apart because of two people. It's ******** pathetic.

It's painful as hell to know you've lost two people with no way of getting them back, and it's all your fault. If only I hadn't trusted them so much, if only I had been paying more attention. If only I had more time.

I've had to force myself to take every step. As horribly cliche as that sounds, it's true. I have to be reminded to eat, and half the time I ignore it. I had to be forced to go to school, I have no motivation to do anything... all of this on top of recent developments in my family issues... I don't quite knowhow to survive anymore. Quite frankly, I don't know if I am surviving.

The worst part of it all is that I'm not sure if I want to move on. I do not want to risk forgetting, because forgetting means to be forgotten. I'm terrified of that. I do not want to trust others quite so much. I don't want to be left behind again.

Now, thank you for getting through the wall of teenage angst that probably sounds all too pathetic.  

[aretoo]

To be quite honest, you've been suddenly and, apparently, permanently been bereft of two people you love (and by that I mean in the platonic, and not romantic, sense), and you are, frankly, in shock and having separation issues. I hope you'll be able to find someone (or the fortitude within yourself) to fill the twin holes in your heart; in the meantime, remember you have friends and support here for you...  

[Trish the Stalker]

You can move on without forgetting. You can, believe me sweetheart. It takes time but the hurt stops even if the memories don't. And it never goes away entirely, just mostly. Every once in a while you'll feel it again as if it were still fresh. Don't let memories of falseness hold you back from going forward in your life.

If they truly touched you at all you will not forget. Even if you did not touch them at all.  

[Trish the Stalker]

I'm angsting over something absolutely retarded.

Seriously.

I want sex.

I can't get sex.

Not sex with people I feel comfortable sleeping with anyway.

I am SERIOUSLY sexually frustrated.

I feel like I'm going to explode.

I seriously want to cry I want it so bad.

This is my pathetic angst.

God it's sad.  

[Kusaragi]

Sex is a physiological NEED sometimes. To angst over sex is natural sometimes. if your body is in need of it, it can have profound emotional impact. For now you should "Make due" with what you have. I'm sure that you'll find someone to (Trying best to restrain innuendo) help you in times of need. I hope you find that person soon.  

[Trish the Stalker]

It doesn't make it any easier to deal with my meantime urges.  

[RoleOfAQS]

Oh, hey, a place like this exists?

La Belle... I know how you feel...
I mean, I'd love nothing more than for the boy of my dreams to sweep me off my feet and pleasure me all night long, but at the moment he's nowhere to be found.

I seriously cry sometimes at night because it hurts so bad.  

[Trish the Stalker]

It's not really a relationship void for me though, just a "GOD I NEED SEX" void, to the point where I would practically jump the next guy who checked me out. I don't cry, myself, I just go all nympho. I'm strangely *not* in the crying about it phase.

But I know what you're talking about too.  

[RoleOfAQS]

It's actually a combination of the two here. Though, the desire for sex seems to be getting stronger... Which just makes it worse, of course...  

[Trish the Stalker]

I'm relieved that it's just sex. For now. Mind you if this keeps up much longer I'm gonna have a lot more regrets than I can shake a stick at if I'm not careful.  

[RoleOfAQS]

Yeah... Though, you know, it makes it kinda worse that I'm reserving myself for marriage... I really hope I can find a guy who's right for me soon...  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

Allah The Eternal

-I have a two page paper, thats due this friday.....and I haven't started writing yet (procrastination is a b***h).

Dang man. I've done 6 page research papers the day they were due.

You wanna talk to procrastination, I AM procrastination.  

[RoleOfAQS]

I didn't do any homework until right before it was due, then said screw it and just didn't do it.

I own all of you with procrastination and laziness.