THE ANGST ZONE (Use this, for the love of internetz! ><)

[~DR.MOOFASA~]

ooooh man, i had to hold back so hard from screaming "******** YOU, CRAZZY ASSED WOMAN! do it your damn self, i was in a bus accident todayyyyyy!!! scream " *purposely screaming that part to make her look like a huge p***k lol *
...but it was either fake a half assed smile and bear it or get written up for customer complaints of unacceptable behavior. rolleyes
(and thanks for zee compliment ^^)

i'm sure if you find a worthwhile guy he wouldn't mind the biting so much XD

and i don't necessarily mean 'cool' places to hang out, i just mean ones that make you comfortable or interest you that still have other people around. smile ...game shop? comic book store? malls are probably good too, since there's a wide variety of places to walk around and explore ^^
...OOOOH... if you like arcade games then maybe play afew rounds at a nearby arcade? biggrin and if you are a bit nervous about hitting homophobes, maybe try a book store instead. or one of the other stores i mentioned before ^^ people who hang out in quieter/more intimate spaces usually tend to be more..er... well, polite about homophobia if they are. sweatdrop i honestly can't see someone browsing gamecube games going all ultra-meathead on you and gtting in your face. the whole "HEY MAN, I AIN'T GAY D:<" would just embarass people more in those kinds of environments if everyone is staring at them. xd

...but from what you mentioned about the places you said, looks like you're off to a good start for exploring places ^^

alas, i must go rest now. gonk school tomorrow... 9 hours of it.
night, and take care ^^  

[Reiku Alche]

I don't have nearly enough self control to have taken that. I'm not a people person at all, either. If someone's being a d**k to me, I shoot assholery right back at 'em, even if I have to be subtle about it.

I was thinking of just chilling in the manga section of my mall's Borders and maybe checking out EB Games and Software Ect. most of the time. Those are the best places in the mall for me, since Waldenbooks and SunCoast got shut down. . . I might try meeting someone at some of the cons I'm going to in the fall too, if I have no luck till then. . .

Night. I'd go too, but I'm skipping school tomorrow.  

[~DR.MOOFASA~]

surprised skipper! *points* xd

also, i forgot to mention... you don't have to be in a hurry to find someone. smile often times people find others who make them happy, and they just stumble into eachother instead of looking. =3

just do what makes you comfortable/happy and don't feel like you have to find someone right away. ^^  

[Reiku Alche]

Well, guys, I loved and it all came back and bit me in the a**. That's what I get for trusting someone so much. So, basically, just because I slapped her hand once (and it wasn't even a love tap. I haven't actually hit someone for real in YEARS) and she broke up with me. And now she's gotten the office to suspend me if I ever initiate conversation with her again, though, she can't start talking to me either, cuz I can do the same thing to her, if she does. Now, at first I was okay with this, because I thought we could work things out later, right?

Wrong. Instead, today I took a bit of a mental health day and stayed at home all day (cept for going over to Skrat's house after he got home from school). I'd FINALLY gotten around to telling me mom that I'm bi and she'd accepted it and it didn't make her love me any less, things couldn't be better, right?

Wrong. The minute I get home from Skrat's house and sign onto MSN Messenger, I find out that my girlfriend's spreading the rumor that I was harassing and stalking her and that I'd actually hit her. God, that REALLY brought my blood to a boil, almost literally. And what really gets me is one of my only real friends left warned me months ago that it might end like this and I didn't listen. Well, I've learned my lesson.  

[Shram]

"What Does Backdoor Mean?"



Some people are bitches thats life Reiku
sucks that things went this way
My suggestion for you though is block and delete her from MSN
and then ignore her rumors, anyone who chooses to believe her over you will have to be dealt with appropriatly
erm
poison or knife?


"It Means 'Run Jaft Run'.'"

 

[Reiku Alche]

I already did both. And, I don't think my real friends will just hate me without hearing my side. I just needed to vent REALLY badly.  

[Shram]

"What Does Backdoor Mean?"



Venting is good =]


"It Means 'Run Jaft Run'.'"

 

[124-C]

My armpits smell funny...  

[Large Inmate]

Well. This is the thread for venting. Go vent away.  

[Skrat_teh_Squirrel]

stare The whole problem with this whole situation that's happening in the life of Reiku is effecting my side of the spectrum too. All this chaos has lead my girlfriend (who is absolute best friends with Reiku's ex-girlfriend) to believe that Rei CANNOT be trusted, and is beginning to wonder whom, if I was put in the scenario, I would choose between, if I had to choose between the love of my life and my best friend.

I told my girlfriend tonight that even if I wanted to, I can't choose. It would be harder on me to only have a girlfriend or best friend than to have neither. I told her that in order for me to be happy, I need an equal balance of love, and friendship. Rei, so do you. That's why I'm pouring my heart into your healing for the next couple weeks. I care about you, dude. Anyway, in order for me to live in my perfect world, I need the girl that owns my heart, but I need the friends as well.

All of us, my entire group at school, is splitting apart. For each conflict, and each difference of opinion; each arguement splits my heart further and further. Soon the taped up wreck that is my heart will be split again, and I'll be left with nothing. This is what I'm fearing, but I'm trying to bring everything back together again. It wont be easy, and I'll lose some things in the process, but I'm willing to take the risk.

~Skrat~

 

[Reiku Alche]

Eh, I've had the feeling that your gf has hated me for a while, Skrat. >_> Ever since she kinda called me a racist, I've gotten the "Just get out of my life" vibe from her. I'd never ask you to choose between me and anyone else. And, if you were to have to ditch me, I'd hold no grudges. I really don't think our group can be fixed. . . I resent my lovable ex as much as she resents me. Sorry, I'd love for things to be okay again, but it seems to be an impossibility.  

[Skrat_teh_Squirrel]

Isn't it wonderful when everything you love, everything you enjoy, all conflicts in some crazy way? You refuse to choose between the people you love, the people who care about you and who would give up their lives for you; and that one night you spent outside after hours, the loud music blaring in the background, the tracing lights and a good one hundred people dancing around you, feeling the best that you ever have in your life due to giving up a large sum of money to your friend so you can illegally be without a care for a few hours then have it all come back to hit you three days later.
Then there's your beliefs...which dispise both of those completely.

Friends versus fun versus morals.

Which to choose?

It's getting to the point where, after two or three months of this lifestyle, I'm starting to think that I need get rid of one to have the other two coincide peacefully with one another. Yet, I refuse to give any of them up. I'm living a triple life. There's something wrong with me. All three of them together leave me happy, but if I continue down the road marked "Fun," all my happiness will be drained away, and I will be physically scarred until I die. I can slowly feel my brain deterriorating as it is. I know I need to quit, but I don't want to. It's too much fun. Too exciting.

I know where I went wrong, and I know I need to give it up. When will I get to a point so low that I want to...?

-Skrat-

 

[Arcanas]

ya know, from my experience, neither would make you choose. That is of course, one is extremely detrimental to you. True friends accept your decisions, and are there for you no matter what. Which is what you guys are from what I can tell.

But as for the other side, I'd say they're stage 4 clingers...

Anyway, back on topic, I'm dreading the 23rd of this month...the investment bankers that own the company I work for...they're visiting...and of course, the two closest stores to SFO are mine, and Millbrae...-_-

So now, the store managers are scheduling some insane shifts...I've started at 4am, and haven't gone home till almost 8pm.

Half of which I just spent cleaning, scrubbing stubborn grout, washing windows, walls, I feel like a janitor that handles people's food.

When I get home, I'm tired, irritable, my left hand is a bit messed up from my method of stress relief (it involves my fist and a wall)

My family won't talk to me, and well, the whole store has just taken on this really tense vibe...I'm not liking that much, considering most people are basically on the same schedule I am. It's made for some really interesting conversations. Not in the nice way though.

Oh, and a few days ago, one of my display cases caught on fire  

[Reiku Alche]

Skrat.: And I always feel somewhat of guilt when this comes up ~nervous laugh~ Yeah. . . Well, you know I'll be your friend no matter what path you choose. Heck, if I can manage to patch my life up, I may never do that kind of stuff again, myself. But, if things get more ******** up, you may want to stay away from me for a few weeks, I might give you bad ideas. Just do whatever you feel is right, man. I wish I could be of more help.

Arc.: Jeez, that sucks, Arc. I couldn't imagine living with THAT sleep schedule. I'd also suggest another form of stress management, if that wasn't my main way of dealing with it too, most of the time >.>  

[Arcanas]

well, sad to say, the only other thing that seems to calm me down is driving my car...fast.

And that's not exactly the best thing to do when you're not in your right mind.