THE ANGST ZONE (Use this, for the love of internetz! ><)

[Large Inmate]

Yay me. Another teen drop out.
School has gotten so boring and dull and I have a nasty habbit. I can't kick myself in the but to engage myself in something I find so dull.
School doesn't challange me at all and I find in more of a chore than anything else. I'm already not graduating this year and supposed to take half a semester in order to graduate but I don't know if I can.
I've found something I love to do and would rather pursue photography more than anything else.

I just...
Grah I know I need to graduate. School is to damn all the swear words of boringly dull. Not chalanging at all. I know I need to do it though..
Who created this system and why? Damn them to all eternity.
Do I really need high school diploma to take photography courses? Can highschool tell me the right combinations of ISO Shutter Speed and F-Stop to take a picture the way I want to?
What highschool subjects help in photography. Possible chemistry for a dark room but that's all I can think of.

Grah... I don't want to go through another sem or two of torture.  

[Reiku Alche]

I know the feeling, Inmate. School's kind of like that for me too. Though, I congratulate you. I think it's great that you know what you want to do with your life. I can't really see very far past the convention and rave scenes, myself. All I can say is, do what you want and get what you want out of life. I don't really think that high school is at all necessary, if you know what you want to do in life and you're determined enough to succeed at that.  

[Large Inmate]

Heh. I've gone through a lot of things that I want to do. I guess I'm lucky to find two things that I love to do.
Racquetball and Photography.

The only thing I really need to know other than Taking Photo's is the bisness end [I know can't spell that word for a million].

The way they grade you is degrading and idiotic. My marks are so low when I know I can get higher.

Who wants to rebell against the system with me!  

[Reiku Alche]

I'd be with you all the way, but I should really do something about my situation next year. . . Before my rents kick me out. . .
I really agree that the system is pretty idiotic and that it could really be a hell of a lot better, but there's really nothing I could ever do about it. After I'm done with high school, I'm never going to get myself involved with that stupid system again. . . Though, teaching is another thing that calls me. . . I'm cursed, God dammit!

I really want to write for a living, but I know that's not very practical of me. I don't really mind being in the lower-middle class, though it'll be a bit of a stretch for me. . . I'm too used to the cozy life I've been living up until now. . . I was also thinking of having my own little book store or something, but I don't think I could compete with the big franchises. . .  

[Kalstolyn]

Kals is questing again!

Chapters killed all the cozy little bookstores sad

Kals' Collaborative Crossword Puzzle!

Check sig for details!

 

[Large Inmate]

There's also McNally.
Out here atleast and Prarie Grass food isn't all that great...

That's what they all say. If you get enough people or it's the right time you can do it.

I like small cozy bookstores. Although it's like that one with Forest Gumps actor and that girl... She had a bookstore and a huge place moved in close by that took away almost all her customers.
I hate major companies like that sometimes.
Evil Walmart.  

[Reiku Alche]

I know. . . My place would definitely need to have some flair of it's own. Like having a cat girl cafe or something. . . And contests and give-aways. . . Oh well, maybe once I finish high school or (God forbid) college I'll have things more figured out. I have no clue about the business aspect of anything, as well ^^;;  

[Kalstolyn]

Kals is questing again!

One of these days, I will go two weeks without anything bad happening or any bad news coming my way. Right now that's all I want. I'm sick to death of this, life can't keep being like this.

Kals' Collaborative Crossword Puzzle!

Check sig for details!

 

[Large Inmate]

Oh I know that feeling all to well and when things start to get good I bring myself down...
Such a wonderful feeling it is.  

[Twyla Myn]

I just... need to rant for my sanity.. No one need read this mess, lol. Is this the right place?

Sigh. Everything is so ******** up right now and it seems as if things will never get better.

- I don't know why the ******** I am in college. I have no real idea what I can possibly do with my life. I have no passions. I do not have any talents in anything. I don't even have a major figured out. I feel like I am just wasting money being there. But when I think of transferring, I come up blank. Mostly because I cannot afford to go anywhere else without taking out substantial loans...

- I hate being at home for the summer. The family recently moved into a tiny apartment that can barely fit the 3 of us and my dog. I have no room, no space for myself at all. There is nowhere to get away from the yelling. WHY CAN'T THEY SPEAK LIKE NORMAL HUMANS. ALL THEY DO IS ******** YELL. My mother constantly screams at me. For nothing. My brother is just a frickin delinquent that just makes her angry and then she takes her loud mouth out at me.

At least my dog doesn't perpetually berate me. But that little piece of niceness in my life will disappear. He is already 6 and he is ill with lyme disease. cry We can't afford his medicine. He doesn't seem sick at all, but I know as he gets older things will get worse. He is going to suffer and die all because I am too poor to buy my poor little dog his meds.

- And so, it all comes down to money. MONEY. MONEY. MONEY. Need money for the rent (probably going to get kicked out soon), to fix the window that has been broken for 2 months (the landlord is s**t). There is no food in the house. No one owns a car, so I can't even get away. No money for the bus. And where would I go? You need money for any sort of entertainment besides going to the park in this place. I have applied to over 20 jobs since early May, and not one has called me back. Why? I can't even apply to the jobs for stores on the highways because no buses go there.

- Did I mention I ******** hate my father. Hate is not a strong word, it is very appropriate here. He is never around. I don't even regard him as a dad. He is a stranger. how many kids does that ******** have by now I wonder? Probably 10. Good for nothing ******** drunkard.

- I barely talk to my HS friends and it makes me feel guilty. But I just can't. My facade of happy-go-lucky, funny girl is gone. I can't keep up that pretense for them like I used to Maybe that is why I had so many friends in HS. Because I never showed depression, I never let them know my problems. I was the comforter. Everyone told me their problems and I cheered them up. I have lost that ability. I can't even cheer myself up anymore.

Okay. Done. Feeling relieved. Wasn't able to write this in my journal, because my brother has been reading it. Gotta start writing it in a secret language again.

By the way, how can you change your last name in the U.S? :]  

[PixiecuTT]

Kalstolyn

Kals is questing again!

Chapters killed all the cozy little bookstores sad

Kals' Collaborative Crossword Puzzle!

Check sig for details!

Sadly.
We don't have a Chapters here...yet. They're building an Indigo that is set to open this summer. Same company, I think.

I wonder what will happen to the half-dozen used bookstores I frequent? sad
I've never lived anywhere with so many bookstores.  

[~DR.MOOFASA~]

Mugen Nagrom

Wanting to be cloud isnt so bad, for awhile when I was a kid I wanted to be Sonic the Hedgehog rofl

aww, that's cute. 4laugh
i used to want to be sailor jupiter. ninja  

[Sentama Lin]

This isn't really angst. It's more like a cry for suggestions.

Long story short I owe my school about 8 000 USD for this semester, and because of hardships at home my parents cannot pay for it. I can't get any loans for it without a cosigner and there's nobody I know that would cosign for me. I've made up my mind that I'm not going to school this semester and just start working; I've wanted to do that for a while anyways but was too unsure because my parents wanted me to stay in school. So... now I have two hurdles to overcome: finding a job and paying off that 8 000 USD. The job is easy, the paying is hard.

The thing is, I'll be meeting with the business office for a second time this year about money woes, and all I really have is a pity story. I'm essentially banking on their mercy to arrange some form of alternate payment that will work for my family and me until I can get a job. My parents want to arrange a payment plan of about 200 USD a month until it's paid off, with me augmenting that amount to more than 200 USD after I find a job. The thing is the University is really really shrewd with money and I doubt they'd bend.

Any suggestions on what to do? There's also my scholarship (I get about 17k a year from the school), but I can only get that if I become a full time student and it's split up in half.  

[Kalstolyn]

Kals is questing again!

Wow your school is a lot more expensive than mine!

I'd definitely suggest making payment arrangements with the school and then pay as much as you possibly can from every paycheque to try and pay it off early. That way you don't have to pay so much interest (my school charges 18.5% interest on late fees and tuition, and they hold your marks until you've paid everything off... meaning that if you still owe money from this semester, you don't get your marks from this semester AND you can't register for classes next semester. I don't know if your school does something similar...)

No one's parents should have to pay for their post-secondary education -- they already pay taxes and additional fees all the way through your first 13 years of education. Expecting them to cough up money for you when you are an adult is just wrong, in my opinion. The reason I couldn't get any student loans after a certain point was that my parents' combined income was apparently too high... never mind the fact that they couldn't spare any of that income to help me with school. The government expected them to pull my tuition out of their asses or something. I worked and earned enough money over the summer to pay for one semester. If I hadn't been kicked out of school , would have had to drop out by the second semester of that year because I wouldn't be able to pay.

Kals' Collaborative Crossword Puzzle!

Check sig for details!