s**t for him

[Artanus]

I'm kinda depressed right now, because my mom is going off on my brother because he isn't doing any work. He already failed his first semester of college and is taking online classes. He's not ******** DOING them. I'm so angry at him and scared for his future at the same time. And nothing gets through to him. I'm also afraid he'll get so angry he'll hit my dad again. Now my mom said he'll be paying rent and getting a job. And taking away his stuff. Which will make him angrier.  

[Iconised Ghost]

Man that sounds awful, im sorry to hear that. Your brother is the only one who can make his future what he wants though, if he doesnt do the work no one else will and he's the one who will have to live with the consequences. I think if he's not studying then he should be paying rent and getting a job, of course he wont see it that way or like the idea at all. Im not sure taking his stuff away is a good idea

Try and stay out of it if you can, hopefully it'll pass  

[angel_half82]

Maybe kicking him out will teach him that he needs to grow up. You shouldn't have to worry about him like that. That's pretty selfish of him to put you through that.  

[Goddess Ace]

Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom to change.

You should probably tell him your worried when he's in a non-angry mood. If I were in your situation, I mostly stress to him to not take his anger out on your father. As for the schooling goes - he may not be cut out for it. He's better off to find a job instead of wasting money on school.

If you want to talk to him, just try to be positive and find out what he really wants to do with his life. And if it's something along the lines of "video games, computer" - suggest to him to try and find a job game store or an electronics place. Employees get dibs on new releases and discounts.

I kind of know how you feel as my brother was a dead-beat for a while. After reality finally kicked into gear (through one bad internet relationship), he's now doing much better. He's got a girlfriend and a job, even if he is still living at home at 22.  

[Iconised Ghost]

Goddess Ace

You should probably tell him your worried when he's in a non-angry mood.

If you want to talk to him, just try to be positive and find out what he really wants to do with his life.

I agree with this 3nodding let him know that you are concerned about him, but also let him know that you support him as well. he's probably feeling like a lot of people are against him at the moment and that always gets my back up, so its probable that he's feeling the same  

[Artanus]

It's hard to sympathize when he's not doing anything for himself.

And he has nothing. He won't answer if anyone asks him what he wants to do. He has no ambition.

I know he has to hit rock bottom to really see, but I'm afraid he won't get back up.

I do stay out of it. I'm closest one too him in this family, and it'd be the last straw on his back if I were to make him feel alienated too.

(Bed. Talk in the morning)  

[angel_half82]

Artanus

It's hard to sympathize when he's not doing anything for himself.

And he has nothing. He won't answer if anyone asks him what he wants to do. He has no ambition.

I know he has to hit rock bottom to really see, but I'm afraid he won't get back up.

I do stay out of it. I'm closest one too him in this family, and it'd be the last straw on his back if I were to make him feel alienated too.

(Bed. Talk in the morning)

He's not on drugs is he??  

[WastelandMama]

ah.

i went through this same thing your brother's going through.

he's got college depression. 3nodding happens every day, and its uber-common.

he needs to see the school shrink and talk to someone removed from the situation.

also, tell su madre that he's probably going through s**t, its not just that he's lazy and wants to d**k around. 3nodding

when i first went to college, i gained 40 pounds, failed every class but one ((band rofl )), lost touch with all of my friends, stopped going to classes, became all introverted ((which is BEYOND strange for me)) and ended up spending hour after hour online in the school's AMAZING library.

i felt like no one cared. like i'd lost touch with everyone i loved. i was tired all the time, i didn't want to see anyone, i felt betrayed by my hs friends for them having adventures when i wasn't there ((which is dumb, but its what happened)). THEN i felt guilty cause there i was, WASTING my time @ college and all my daddy's lovely money. crying

i had to end up leaving school and just living life for a while. then i came back and i was fine because i KNEW who i was and didn't feel lost all the time.

try to talk to your brother & if you want to show him this post, go for it.

people need to know that its HARD that first year! there's all this pressure on you to succeed ((omg, i heard "you're so BRIGHT! you're going to go so FAR!" a billion times and it created this insane fear of failure)) and there's almost no support system @ school. its so different from hs, and yes, most of its different in a GOOD way, but the one-on-one teacher/student relationships that are possible in hs aren't @ college ((@ least not @ first)).

it just sucks. it sucks in a major way.

he needs support. NOT a kick in the pants, but SUPPORT.

heart  

[Chris de Medich]

Im sorry to say this and this will probably make you mad and everyone else mad as well so ill just put it bluntly....
I got NO SYMPATHY for your brother, I have seen more people pull themselves out of their own problems than most of my own family members, I guess I say this in a harsh manner because life is only as how you make it if he has no wishes to better himself let him be, because one day he'll wake up and realize he's not done anything with himself.

Maybe im jealous as well, because my parents werent able to pay for college for me, and maybe im not as smart as your brother maybe but up until this point in life everything I have and own has been of my own merit, nothing has been given to me, I pity him for raising his hand towards his own parents, because " you never bite the hand that feeds you" he has no respect for his parents, you his own sibling or anyone else that works hard and strives to be better.

so again if this makes anyone mad I apologize but....
I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR HIM.  

[Bikki Kobayashi IV]

Wow, that sucks.

However its really hard for me to feel sorry for him. Pretty much because I'm on the other side of the fence and all. I want classes but no one in my family can afford it. Bleh, still that doesn't sound good.