Welcome to Gaia! ::

I dated my best friend's ex. And I found out just why they were exes. whee

You need to just be honest with your friend and explain to her how you feel, and even though you don't need her permission to date her ex, having her blessing never hurts.

Liking someone for their personality is perfectly acceptable! I would argue that it's better to like someone for that reason above any other.

And the guy I later married? When I first met him, I thought he was weird. And I didn't think I liked him the way he I knew he liked me. But he was a nice guy, and I figured I'd give him a chance. For what it's worth, he really used to be kind of strange looking; I don't know if my falling in love with him changed my opinion of that or if he really did change that much, but now I think he's very handsome.

The best thing to do is have a talk with him and be honest, tell him your feelings. Maybe tell him that you can hang out and be friends (if you want to do that) and see how things develop between you two. As for your friend, I don't think you should owe her an explanation but if she wants one, just be honest with her. Tell her how you feel about him. Just wait and see how things go. It would not be fair to either of you to keep on "seeing each other as dates" if you are not on the same page. If you don't like him the way you need to after a bit, then let him go and let him find someone else that will. Good luck sweetie, hope things work out for the good. Remember ALWAYS be honest with yourself and others.

Well if he won't understand, which he should if he really likes you, then maybe he doesn't respect you as you need to be respected. All you can do is be honest and if that isn't good enough then maybe he's not worth it?

biggrin