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[SHORT] Story of the Black Rose

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Woonren

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 12:00 pm


This is an FFXII/FFTA2 (Final Fantasy 12 and Tactics Advanced 2, respectively) story about a handful of OCs... one or two of the characters are characters in the games that I've OC-ized because they have little character development, but they don't come in until later. This is just part one, and I would appreciate any feedback on it. ^^


~~~ Raining Death ~~~


A figure moved near silently through the plain. A long purple cloak protected them from the rains and light wind that swept along the area at the edge of the chasm. They moved slowly to the edge of a cliff, standing on the edge before turning down toward an old rope bridge, the only way to cross for miles. They stopped not far from the bridge, taking several steps backward from the chasm, and quickly finding them self surrounded. The figure looked at the Hume in front of them, the leader of the group, apparently.

He wore a dark green tunic with tan pants. Dark blue shoes with wings on the side allowed them to float, and they wore similar colored gloves on their hands. A brown hat topped off the outfit, and the figure easily recognized it as the classic look of a Hume thief. They were roughly a foot shorter than the figure, who was around the higher end of the six foot scale. The thief didn't appear to be intimidated by the height difference as he pulled a slightly curved dagger, flecks of dried blood easily visible, even in the darkness, near the hilt.

On either side of them were two large male Seeq, twins from the look of them. Both were a light blue, wearing large tattered pants that seemed that they had been made for a smaller race than the giant creatures. The one on the figure's left held a large iron mace, and the other held an improvised club. It looked like they'd ripped a branch straight off a tree, and it was highly likely they did. The pair were slightly taller than the figure, and definitely larger. The figure turned to look at the Bangaa standing behind them.

A large red lizard-ish humanoid, once again shorter than the figure. It wore steel armor, gauntlets, and a pair of muddied boots. He had seen battle from the look of him, his face and forearms having multiple scars over them in random spots. The largest of them extended from the top of his head, down across their eye, and down to the neck. Their weapon was a giant two handed sword, almost the size of the one that held it in their claws.

The figure turned back to the thief, whose eyes darted from a rock structure on their right, back to the figure. "This here's a toll bridge," the thief said, holding his dagger expertly, with a drawling, and rather uneducated sounding, voice, "5,000 gil t' use it." The figure didn't move or speak. "If ya' need help findin' yer wallet, ma friends here can help ya' find it."

Again, the figure didn't move, made no motion to show that they'd heard what the thief had said at all. The thief grunted frustrated, and motioned to the Seeq. "Bara, Dara, help our new quiet friend here find deir wallet." The two Seeq took a step forward, moving their weapons into a bashing position, when the figure finally moved. Their cloak few open, the sleek form of a Viera in a dark colored body suit being revealed. She removed a silver katana from its sheath and cut both Seeq down with one swift stroke. The move was fast enough that the thief barely had enough time to register that the figure was a she, never mind a Viera, before both Seeq were on the ground. Dead, and if not, very very close.

The Viera vanished in a small burst of blue light, reappearing behind the Bangaa and slitting their throat. She heard the drawing back of a bowstring, and a second later, she heard the release. She turned just slightly, the arrow missing her by centimeters. Expertly pulling a bow from her back, formally hidden by her cloak, and firing an arrow into the darkness. She heard a death shout as the arrow found its mark. This all happened so quickly, that all four of the thief's flunkies had been taken down in less than a minute.

The thief took a step back, their foot right on the edge of the cliff. "Ya'll can… uh… use the bridge, no charge!" they said, their voice full of false charity and very real fear.

The Viera walked forward, slinging the bow over her shoulder and wiping her katana on a cloth before slipping it into a sheath. The thief let out a sigh of relief, but tensed when the Viera stepped up to him. She grabbed the thief's tunic, keeping him from falling backward off the cliff. Her right arm was the only part of her upper body not covered by the body suit. On her middle finger of that arm's hand was a ring with a black gem in the shape of a rose.

"Your voice annoys me," she said, pulling a white orb from his chest, and holding it in her palm for a moment. Once the moment was up, she crushed it. The thief's eyes immediately dulled, and his body went limp in her grip. She pushed backward, letting his body fall down into the chasm below. She adjusted her cloak, and started making her way across the bridge.


There are more parts, and I might post them here later... I should probably type up the rest of the ones I have written though.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 9:25 pm


I like it. The wording was good and the creatures you created are very interesting indeed. The Viera is by far my favorite. She is very powerful. You can easily tell.

The other creatures are very unique, I like how you made them. Nicely done. I can't wait to read more. It sounds like your off to a good start. smile

Dragon of the waters


Woonren

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 11:08 pm


Dragon of the waters
I like it. The wording was good and the creatures you created are very interesting indeed. The Viera is by far my favorite. She is very powerful. You can easily tell.

The other creatures are very unique, I like how you made them. Nicely done. I can't wait to read more. It sounds like your off to a good start. smile


lol

Before you call me unique, the OCs are mine, but the races are not. XD

In case you didn't know....

http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Seeq

http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Bangaa

http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Viera
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Finished Writing

 
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