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Chesiregirl's Official Mary Sue Thread! Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3

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chesiregirl

PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 4:59 pm


Arabian Sad
I decided to throw my other main character at you. It took me a while to put his profile together; I hope it suffices.

~*Name*~
----- Leon
(no last name mentioned) – He prefers to go by the nickname, Leo.

~*Age*~
----- 17 years old

~*Appearance*~
----- The same height as Nicki, 5’7, he’s actually less angular in the face in comparison; he does have slightly broad shoulders though. He has a “baby face” where as he’s a bit round and chubby in the cheeks. He’s unhealthily thin because his satyriasis causes him to devalue the need for sleep and food; at the same time, his satyriasis has given him a lot of stamina, so he’s fairly toned as well. His deformity gives others the false image that he’s fat which makes it look as though he has a large, extended belly. Actually, he has 4 extra arms that grew along his sides beneath his “anatomically correct” arms, just below his rib cage, which he keeps bundled together under his clothes. He has a pale but darker skin tone than Nicki, big, black eyes, thick eyebrows, an expressible, elongated mouth, and ebony hair. His hair has many layers; the upper layers are cut shorter, stopping just at the tips of his ears and the ends flip out. The lower layers are much longer, tied back in a loose ponytail that runs down between his shoulder blades, stopping just a few inches above them. As for his attire, he wears a variation of wool sweaters that most have the opinion of being ugly, dark jeans two sizes too big for him accompanied by a belt as to keep them from falling down, and sneakers. Again, shoe descriptions fail me…


~*Race/Species*~
----- Caucasian, Human.

~*Hobbies and Talents*~
----- Suffering from satyriasis and consistently trying to keep his deformity a secret, he doesn’t really have any hobbies.
----- However, prior to the development of his condition, he had a thing for physical activities; though he was a klutz, he always wanted to move.

~*Likes*~
----- Food-wise, anything, especially anything spicy – the opposite of Nicki who can’t tolerate spicy.
----- Any form of physical contact
(when it is desired).
----- Physics, but his Don Juanism, self insecurity, and horrible health prevent him from actively participating.
----- Girls, as exploitable objects unfortunately.

~*Dislikes*~
----- Hospitals, including anyone who works in a field involving medical procedures.
----- Sharon, a minor character who’s an even bigger prude than Nicki
(though Leo still has tendencies to think of exploiting her).
----- Rumble strips found on some roads.

~*Background Story*~
----- I had two ideas meant to delve deeper into Leo’s personal life concerning his parents. With little feedback, I decided to go with my original idea; unfortunately, it utilizes the overused orphan concept; I hope you can find it favorable all the same.

----- Leo’s parents never had any intentions to have children due to a busy schedule that consumed their time with travel and an inexperienced, confound nature that wouldn’t know what to do if one was there, and Leo was no exception. The mother was actually raped; the convict was never found, and Leo was conceived. Yes, I’m subtly hinting that Don Juanism is genetic, therefore suggesting that the culprit suffered it as well
(giving reason for why he would attack this woman) and passed it on to Leo.

----- Leo was kept merely out of pity as his deformity brought up the concern that he’d never be adopted. Somewhere between a few weeks to months old, his parents disappeared without a trace and were never found. Their abandoned home was eventually entered by police who found the baby, Leo by himself. An ugly rumor began that his parents actually fled the country, feeling they were too incompetent to raise a child, yet too mentally impaired to figure out what to do with him. Leo then went through years of foster families until he made the decision to live on his own in his late teens, mainly due to the development of his Don Juanism which was growing increasingly difficult to hide and control, especially in the presence of female foster family members. He is still highly financed by foster care and a care taker visits on a regular basis to check on him.

~*Personality*~
----- Before the revealing of his conditions, he was mostly known to behave weirdly around others thus avoided all contact, visual and physical, and he rarely spoke to anyone; however, it is mentioned that he did tend to speak more to males than females. In public, he portrays himself as unapproachable, intentionally isolated, and even right down retarded. After the revealing of his conditions to Nicki, he opens up more to her, revealing that he was inclined to inadvertently speak in ludicrous ways and say vulgar, suggestive things.

----- He is actually very childish; he turns into a blundering baby who cries when things get sour; he has terrible focus, so he has a tendency to excessively drool on himself or whatever is beneath him; he'll even drool while crying; he gets overjoyed about seeing kittens and throws a horrible tantrum when he doesn't get his way. He overreacts to everything from fainting, having seizures, and bawling. A point that I intend to have Nicki bring up to herself in the story is that,
“… looking past the condition, he was fragile; if he did not have it, he would be the very definition of innocence, but he did have it and it corrupted him against his will…” and “… it was like he had split personalities; one moment he would be childlike, naively smiling and confounded; the next moment, she would realize she had to struggle to pry him off, to break free from the death grip he had on her clothes; his eyes would be unrecognizable like he had been temporarily taken over by someone else entirely…”.

~*Tell what role play or fandom this is for. If it is an original story, please explain story.*~
----- Copy and paste from Nicki’s profile because it’s the same story:

----- Nicki has just transferred from private school into public school, and although she has spent the better half of her life in the same private school, she follows through with her decision as a means to escape and defy her opulent, biased family.

----- As the new student amongst seniors, she is quickly made aware of the one everybody calls the school freak, Leo. He's fat, behaves weirdly around others thus keeps to himself, rarely speaks, and plenty more. A cynic of the use of stereotypes, Nicki disregards her new found friends’ warnings that “he just won’t acknowledge you” and attempts to confront the said freak. Her first attempt, and many after that, ended in failure as she finds herself unable to get even a word out of him. Controlling and unreasonable, she is unwilling to let his avoidance pass her and continues to address him, even if it meant visiting him at home.

----- Then finally, while visiting him one evening under false but legitimate reasons, she learns, in the worst way, about the underlying conditions he has that make him live the way he does – he suffers from satyriasis and a severe case of deformity.

~*Any supernatural powers*~
----- No.

~*Free Space!*~
----- Birthday: November 27

----- It’s understood that he didn’t have Don Juanism his whole life; it “developed” somewhere in his early teens, maybe even before that, but so far, an exact date and age is unknown. Because of his Don Juanism, he is involuntarily sexually attracted to nearly every female he sees.

----- Leo’s deformity suggests that he should have been in a set of triplets OR have had a twin that became tremendously deformed after it stopped developing early in the process and conjoined with him. Leo got lucky; his extra limbs “appear” fully developed, but they do not fully function. Normally I would have to assume that extra limbs almost never function, but if a baby can have two functioning faces, then Leo can have slightly functional extra limbs; that’s just my intake on it. For the most part, I am leaving them very nonfunctional.

----- As for relationships, he's never been in one and later in the story, even when it seems like he and Nicki are in a relationship, neither have the intention of calling it as such. Neither of them have experience and neither of them thought they would ever would be in one, so they almost view each other as simply friends with benefits.


Very interesting. He seems very troubled however, which can get old. And I don't understand how he would talk to boys more than girls when he has his Don Juanism.
PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:22 pm


chesiregirl


Very interesting. He seems very troubled however, which can get old. And I don't understand how he would talk to boys more than girls when he has his Don Juanism.


I suppose the troubled nature does get old, but life with Don Juanism can be troubling. I've read comments made by real people who suffer the condition; it's a torment, and I actually did base some of his behavior off of what I read.

As to avoid provoking his condition, he tries to avoid girls. If someone had to confront him, he'd rather it be a boy than a girl, though that's his logic speaking, not his body if you know what I mean.

A small piece from a quote written by a Don Juan:
----- "... I’m losing faith in myself; anything sets me off from a memory of a past relationship, to a commercial... and it’s hard for me to focus or even talk to women..."

Arabian Sad


Lydia Blue

PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 2:18 pm


Thought I'd see what you think of Demi.

~*Name*~
Ademitha Green

Nickname:
Demi

~*Age*~15

~*Appearance (post a picture or describe their hair, eyes, skin, clothing, birthmarks, etc)*~
Demi is blond, fair-skinned and has green eyes. She's of an average height, roughly 5'4 to 5'6. She's very pretty in a soft featured, angelic sort of way, and though thin, is beginning to develop the right kind of curves. She only wears dresses, but that's normal and socially correct in the world she belongs to. A lot of her dresses have grass stains at the knee from gardening.

~*Race/Species (depending on what fandom, roleplay or original story this is for)*~
Human.

~*Hobbies and Talents (please also indicate skill level for each hobby)*~
Demi is quite excellent at being a b***h, avoiding human contact and gardening. She's a terrible liar, and doesn't really know how to be nice to people.

~*Likes*~
Plants
The sky
Her younger brother, Rowan
music (though she can only pick out a few notes on the piano, she has a deep appreciation for those who have musical skill.)

~*Dislikes*~
The ocean (she gets seasick)
Crowds
People in general
Andera (The city she ends up living in)

~*Background Story*~
Demi was born in Andera city. Her parents planned to move across the ocean to the Callendran colonies, where they would be joint governors. Unfortunately, the night before they were to leave, there was an assassination attempt on the only son of the Duke of Andera, a close friend of Demi's parents. Thomas (Demi's father) went after the assassin (Thomas was a magical tracker, one of the best). He never came back

Demi's mother, Cassandra, continued on to the colonies. She did her best to juggle governing the colonies and raising her two children, but didn't have a lot of time to spend with her kids. Demi ended up as a parental figure to her little brother, and developed a strong mothering instinct. She protected him from any and all threats.

Demi always looked a little older than she was, and by the time she was thirteen she was receiving a lot of unwanted attention from young men. Most people left her alone after a while, because no matter how pretty Demi was, it did not make up for her bitchiness, sullen attitude and selfishness. the only boy she ever liked in return was named Robbie Fisher, and it was mostly because he never tried anything, and he was always really nice to Rowan.

Those negative traits only got worse when her mother gave up the position of Governor and moved them back to Andera. There the plot happened.

~*Personality*~
Demi is incredibly bitchy, sullen and selfish. The bitchiness and sullenness may only be a front to get rid of unwanted attention, but the selfishness is real. The only person she puts before herself is her younger brother. She's very intelligent, because books are better company than people, but socially awkward. She doesn't trust men because her father disappeared when she was 4. She's not particularly temperamental, because her magic is volatile and prone to escaping. She learned to control her emotions, but that has made her into a cold-hearted b***h.

~*Tell what roleplay or fandom this is for. If it is an original story, please explain story.*~
Original story, main plot begins with the kidnapping of Rowan. Demi goes off to find him, and is followed by the Duke's son, Rio, who, for some reason, has taken a liking to Demi. The find the bad guys, defeat them, Demi gets stabbed, find Thomas, convert a thug, ect ect stuff.

~*Any supernatural powers (whether they are commonplace to the story/rp/fandom or not)*~
She has a rather large magical gift, one that is entirely centred around plant life. It's not at easily controllable power, and tends to flare up when she's angry, tired, or experiencing any particularly strong emotion.

~*Free Space! Add sexual orientation, birthday, relationship status, etc! Just don't leave it blank ;D*~
Birthday is in late fall.
Demi is straight.
She's single to begin with, but eventually gets into a relationship with Rio. She doesn't remember exactly how it happened, and doesn't feel as strongly for him as he does for her. But that's not really important.
Throughout the story she learns to be less of a b***h and whatnot. She's still anti-social though.
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Character Concepts

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