Tell me what you think!

[HeadlessKoko]

Hm, then next question: Why would the people in charge of her let one of the minority close to her? Furthermore, being as closely guarded as she is, she couldn't have had all that much time by herself and even less time with just one other person.

By the way, what's a rezesi?  

[Valentine Valtieri]

Her friend doesn't make their beliefs known publicly, execution might await them so why say so publicly. Her friend is actually resides in the palace too, they can meet in secret since her friend knows all the places in the palace, Chase just has to follow along.

A rezesi is my attempt at throwing random letters together to make a language that I would rarely use.

It started with Reza: Friend
Then it became Rezo: Superior/Boss
And finally Rezesi: Child  

[HeadlessKoko]

Okay, considering that an untrained princess was apparently able to get past and lose her guards, I'm guessing that the people assigned to guard her weren't all that smart confused ?

Wait a minute.... How did child come from superior and superior come from friend? Ultima, you're not making sense... as usual stare .  

[Valentine Valtieri]

It's not that, it's her friend Kage, sheesh rolleyes

Dunno, I just strung random letters together and thought I liked it.  

[HeadlessKoko]

Alright then....

You know, I'm glad that there is no actual nation that uses a language you created stare .  

[Valentine Valtieri]

Oh everybody will! When I'm president and declare war on Texas, everybody will speak this language or be thrown in to the fire!  

[Lydia Blue]

You'd probably have a rebellion on your hands if you tried that.

The character seems generally uninteresting to me. Maybe she's better within the context of her story, but as a stand alone character, she's blah. Good luck with your story, though!  

[Valentine Valtieri]

Psh, I'll have the bombs!

I never intended Chase(Who is now Liah) to be interesting at first. I may flesh her out more in a second story, give her an actual personality, but for now I'm just focused on the story itself, this is my first time, remember? I think I did a generally good job though.  

[HeadlessKoko]

You know, as my English teacher says, "character makes plot." If you don't have a good character, you want have a good plot. If you don't have a good plot, you won't have a good story 3nodding .  

[Valentine Valtieri]

I got a good fist, it's good from breaking faces. A good broken face means a good hospital. A good hospital means a good graveyard. A good graveyard equals faster decay!

I added more characters to make sure Chase at least has some character, I don't plan on making a cardboard cut out of her when I'm writing. Oh, and chapter one is almost finished 3nodding the Earth will now know my wrath writing prowess.  

[AurinJade]

I prefer character driven stories. I'd rather read a story with a sucky plot as long as the characters rock. I've actually put down books with good plots and dull characters.  

[Valentine Valtieri]

The reason Chase is the only one who follows the mold of a stock character is because I could not think of a backstory, like, dislikes, fears, etc.

I have compiled a short reading on Chase if you'd like to see it, you seem to have experience with characters so you can tell me if it's good.